Saturday, February 20, 2016

BEST ALBUMS OF 2015

AKA "THE BIG BONER ALBUMS OF 2015"

We fuckin hate albums. They always gotta shit on 'emselves.

New rule: If it took longer than 30 seconds to find an album on Bandcamp or Soundcloud or Youtube any other streaming service, the audio was not posted here. Can't just go searching forever to find some album stream that the artist has no interest in shitty blogs posting in the first place.

We can't believe Wesley Willis had no posthumous albums released over the past 13 years. That dude had like 5000 songs. Jello Biafra can't pull together a "Greatest Hits Volume 4" real quick?

We like all of these albums a lot. They really actually are our favorite 60 albums of the year.

60. Jeff Bridges Sleeping Tapes

Jeff Bridges wants you to sleep. But now he doesn't anymore because the link is dead.

http://www.dreamingwithjeff.com/

59. Faith No More Sol Invictus

Imperial Teen reunion: Yay or nay?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aD1vWEui5Sg

58. Horrendous Anareta

There was no Absu album in 2015 so Horrendous is here instead even though they don't really sound like Absu. When the singer does this one specific grunt we get all like =(_)



57. KEN Mode Success

Ken Mode's total earnings on Jeopardy! are $3,196,300, consisting of $2,520,700 over his 74 wins, a $2,000 second-place prize in his 75th appearance, a $500,000 second-place prize in the Jeopardy! Ultimate Tournament of Champions, a $100,000 win for second-place prize in the Jeopardy Battle of the Decades, as well as half of a $300,000 prize in the IBM Challenge. Learn more about Ken Mode.



56. PC Worship Basement Hysteria

It's like Def Leppard's Hysteria but the basement version.



55. Lil B Thugged Out Pissed Off

We promise there's a really good 14 song LP-length album in here somewhere. Our choices:
1. tk2 "Off Top"
2. tk4 "Stephen Hawking"
3. tk6 "Play The Hood"
4. tk7 "Get Rich"
5. tk8 "With Me" (the 2nd single)
6. tk10 "BasedGod" ("Jumpman" except he sings "basedgod" instead of "jumpman" and "I got that dirty dick like Charlie Sheen")
7. tk12 "I'm In Love With The Basedgod" (the "I'm In Love With the Coco" thing)
8. tk13 "I Was Born Poor" (the 1st single, huge hit)
9. tk39 "Water On The Paper"
10. tk41 "Heaven For A G"
11. tk53 "Light You Up"
12. tk56 "Smoking With Obama"
13. tk58 "Thugs Pain Remix PT2" (it gets really noisy and shitty within the 63-song mixtape's last few songs. this is one of the weirdest and noisiest songs he's ever done. not really typical of basedgod.)
14. tk63 "I Can't Breathe"

http://www.datpiff.com/Lil-B-The-BasedGod-Thugged-Out-Pissed-Off-Mixtape.756747.html

54. Neon Indian VEGA INTL. Night School

Neon Joe vs Neon Indian. You decide. (Here's a hint: Probably Neon Joe.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1JHawvhtrI
https://soundcloud.com/neonindian

53. Muriel Utter Perfection

Lights out. Guerrilla Palberta Toss radio. Turn that shit up.



52. Mac Demarco Another One

Mac Demarco is never home so don't go to his house.



51. Lil Ugly Mane Third Side of Tape (1999-2012)

Turns out this person is not a rapper at all and that this album is really weird. Who knew?



50. Floating Points Elaenia

Floating yoga for anti-anxiety. Floating froyo to break the insomnia. They got it all.

https://soundcloud.com/floatingpoints

49. Rae Sremmurd SremmLife

Winner of the award for "2015 album that feels like it's been out for like 3 years."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuGAiMsebu0

48. Pile You're Better Than This

I'm just saying you could do better.



47. Gunk Gunk

Also try Gunk's split with MARGE. Ch-ch-check it: https://marge.bandcamp.com/album/garge-munk



46. Gemma As Ever

As if. Don't even go there. Raise the roof.



45. Girl Band Holding Hands With Jamie

"Hey Jamie. The scraper. Daddy needs it." "Fuck you Kevin." *I wonder if Kevin supports our troops.*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xs1CX4kNYrA&list=PLfQ31JAlKUVMBakqOlzVjNitLDZX4vGvL

44. Failure The Heart Is A Monster

Someone said "I wanna sex you up."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=al3RCs4S-qU

43. Sleater-Kinney No Cities to Love

Plantastic Janet.



42. Oneohtrix Point Never Garden of Delete

Chiki Chiki Bawm Bawm. Dininininininiiii. Waw waw chiki chiki waw waw chiki uh. Dininiii dinininiiii.

https://soundcloud.com/oneohtrix-point-never

41. Helen The Original Faces

The faces in the walls get rounder and larger. They scream for help and call out your name. The faces are your friends.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLBqkVe-VxIQmOzE4GFhOK2RAxcCA68zYL

40. Ex-Breathers Past Tense

https://twitter.com/_FloridaMan



39. Krill A Distant Fist Unclenching

I just did some research and it turns out that Lowt Ide only has one song title that includes the word "fist." I assumed there would be more of these. Here's the one: https://lowt-ide.bandcamp.com/track/flying-and-fisting



38. Ringo Deathstarr Pure Mood

Sadly does not include any covers of Enigma or Enya.



37. Aye Nako The Blackest Eye

Aye Nako is basically Korn, and this album is basically their Follow the Leader.



36. Redman Mudface

We contributed some words about Orange Man to Rap Genius: http://genius.com/Kool-keith-livin-astro-lyrics

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RiWN_1zJuc

35. Dilly Dally Sore

Dawdle.



34. Ava Luna Infinite House

Internet House.



33. The Internet Ego Death

Ava Luna Death.

https://soundcloud.com/internet-band

32. Young Thug Barter 6

More like Sharter 6 amiright

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLddSkUxmPEC-ApUTCGnSUOckq4hIq3Hvl

31. Wilco Star Wars

I heard Wilco's next album Jaws is gonna slay so hard.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9n36fehFSiA

30. Disasterpeace It Follows (OST)

Check out Track 9: "That Song When The Dude Had His Zombie Junk All Hangin' Out On The Roof"

http://music.disasterpeace.com/album/it-follows

29. Janet Jackson Unbreakable

Scratching and surviving. Good Times. Hangin' in a jawlay. Good Times.

https://soundcloud.com/janetjackson/unbreakable

28. Big Neck Police Sleight of Time

For more information and memes about necks why not try this handy resource: https://www.google.com/search?q=neck+memes&biw=1280&bih=923&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj9nNvd24fLAhXFFz4KHZvFCekQ_AUIBigB



27. Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats The Night Creeper

"I wish I lived in the sixties because those were really neat times!" Well, I have a thing for ya, you know you wouldn't want to be alive in the sixties 'cause there was a lot of shit happenin' and your hippy little ass probably woulda gotten killed or something ya goddamn shitface.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mbwk228vtkg&list=PL94gOvpr5yt22NGXB-w8LPHjTnLFc-l47

26. Death’s Dynamic Shroud.wmv I’ll Try Living Like This

Trigonometry.



25. Philadelphia Collins Derp Swervin’

A little Derp will do ya. Got too much of that Derp in ya? S'all good, just watch out for Swerve.



24. Mbongwana Star From Kinshasa

Biker bar rock. This is pretty much the ZZ Top of 2016.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLO2Iw527qHTn22B-nK8q6qYUDDae7TEaP

23. Mastery VALIS

More biker shit. It's like George Thorogood mixed with John Mellencamp but an updated 2016 version.



22. Junglepussy Pregnant with Success

Abortions for some. Tiny American flags for others.

https://soundcloud.com/junglepussy/sets/pregnant-with-success

21. Dornik Dornik

No Dornik parties in L.A.

https://soundcloud.com/dornik

20. Jute Gyte Ship of Theseus

What a time to be a Gyte.



19. Palehound Dry Food

Sirius is the brightest star (in fact, a star system) in the Earth's night sky. With a visual apparent magnitude of −1.46, it is almost twice as bright as Canopus, the next brightest star. The name "Sirius" is derived from the Ancient Greek Σείριος (Seirios), meaning "glowing" or "scorcher". The system has the Bayer designation Alpha Canis Majoris (α CMa).



18. Stove Is Stupider

When I'm looking for a good light beer, I reach for the smooth refreshing taste of- OOWW! MY BUTT!!! Duhhhhhm. I'm so duhhhhm.



17. Erykah Badu But You Caint Use My Phone

You used to call me on my optical telegraph.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJNbijG2M7OwN-bDSpsGirNmpfQMM2m3W

16. Father Who’s Gonna Get Fucked First

The Christian Coalition really loves this album.



15. The Coneheads L​.​P​.​1. aka "14 Year Old High School PC​-​Fascist Hype Lords Rip Off Devo for the Sake of Extorting $​$​$ from Helpless Impressionable Midwestern Internet Peoplepunks L​.​P​.​"

Beldar is cool n stuff, but I mean come on. It's all about Ray Stantz. Let's be real here for a minute.



14. Kamasi Washington The Epic

"We love jazz. It's free form." - Mean Ass Sal and Frankie The Pig

https://soundcloud.com/kamasiwashington

13. Vince Staples Summertime ‘06

We have compiled the Return To Cookie Mountain vs. Snakes On A Plane Myspace poll data. Results will be announced Thursday.

https://soundcloud.com/vince-staples-1/sets/summertime-06-album

12. Tenement Predatory Headlights

Special dedication to William McGuire's prize winning modern drama, Tenement: The story of an unemployed dock worker who's forced to move in with his alcoholic father and with his wife who refuses him a divorce. More information available here: https://www.facebook.com/thestate/videos/616100337837/



11. Babysitter Babysitter

Sup Baby.



10. Carly Rae Jepsen E•MO•TION

Call me rabies.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OE2qEpkWWoQ&list=PLypxKwK9RwxxMVMDS7FiQkMxSBy4rpIJZ

09. Ty Dolla $ign Free TC

Is this the 5 o clock free THC giveaway?

https://soundcloud.com/tydollasign/free-tc-tracklist

08. Palm Trading Basics

Grandma saw an episode of 60 Minutes where they said that palm oil is bad for you. So on Thanksgiving and Christmas and Hanukkah and Easter she told the whole family about the palm oil. And then she said "fuck you" and everyone was all like "oh grandmaaa....."



07. Surface To Air Missive Third Missive

A lot of people confuse them with Surface who were responsible for "The First Time" which hit #1 on the Hot 100 in 1990. We are here to tell you that they are different bands. (Also "The Freshmen" and "Bitter Sweet Symphony" were by DIFFERENT BANDS. NOT the same band.)



06. Miguel Wildheart

Our exclusive interview with Miguel
TMK: Miguel, how much do you like boning?
Miguel: A lot.
TMK: Cool, thanks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgGBOy2vin8

05. Ata Kak Obaa Sima

We won't sleep until 20 PAs are playing this album loudly on the lawn of The White House and Barack Obama himself is approvingly nodding his head on the downbeats.

https://soundcloud.com/noisey/sets/ata-kak-obaa-sima

04. Gnarwhal Shinerboy


EX COG (Eggplant Xerxes Crybaby Overbite Gnarwhal)



03. Earl Sweatshirt I Don't Like Shit, I Don't Go Outside: An Album by Earl Sweatshirt



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SghudeqgDLA

02. Alex G Beach Music

"Sandstorm" by Darude. "Oh tell me why we build castles in the sky oh tell me why." Yo sup Alex what up.



01. Kendrick Lamar To Pimp A Butterfly

How much Ty Dolla $ign cost.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8h4fMku7iZA&list=PLIen3IPVo_U30dpwJd2RDrPxYVXTplcq7