Thursday, December 1, 2016

Member Berries 2016

It begins. The last month of the first "worst year ever" of the 2010s. Everyone knows 2017 is going to be worse than 2016, right? There's still plenty of living legends who have to die at some point, and most of them are pretty fucking old.

We're possibly changing the name of "Hot Mix 2016" to "Member Berries 2016." We possibly have lost all of our blurb-writing energy, so there will probably be less content than usual. More info coming soon.

Memba 1968? I MEMBA!!
1968: MLK got shot and killed. RFK got shot and killed. And the United States voters chose Richard Milhouse Nixon to be their completely misguided, horrifying leader. And we fucking got through it.

In 1968 and during both of Reagan's presidential campaigns, TV and newspaper journalism was all the world had, blocking voters from hidden issues that came into light years later. In 2016, social media shed light on campaign issues all the same, but the only voters who saw those headlines on their news feeds already agreed. Issues still remained hidden due to artificially tailored news feeds, where a computer determines what we should and shouldn't see, which unfortunately does a horrendously awesome job of spotlighting fake journalism and unchecked online hoaxes.

Threats based on federal cabinet proposals don't always lead to the deterioration of our constitutional liberties. Just because it feels like the fabric of society is in danger doesn't mean we're all completely fucked. Obama is currently our president and has still not requested assisted for the pipeline protesters. It's not gonna get worse. Everything that's shitty is going to stay exactly the same because the president has no actual power as long as profiteering gets in the way. Sure, Trump said that flag burning should be illegal, but unfortunately for his dumbass, any law against proposing penalties for flag burning would be unconstitutional as fuck.

Why Rock Sucks In '16 (It's The Money)
Hey, here's an unpopular opinion that we simply couldn't bring ourselves to post on Twitter:

While there was an abundance of "very good" or even "really great" rock albums in 2016, almost none of them were exceptional or amazing. "Abundance" is a key word there, because an abundantly great year is preferable to ones like 2007/2008 when only 2 or 3 brilliant rock albums would somehow emerge from a relatively bleak musical landscape. The outlook for rock isn't necessarily bleak, but it's definitely been disappointing.

Imagine 1966 without Pet Sounds or Revolver or Blonde On Blonde. Or basically, imagine a great year for rock music where the entire top 20 best rock albums of that year didn't exist, and #21-30 are the new top 10. That's what 2016 felt like. We're saddened to report that none of our favorite rock bands (particularly dude-fronted rock) released their best albums in 2016. Nothing truly excited us. Our top 6 favorite bands from one year ago are exactly the same right now. And it's not like we weren't constantly digging.

What would help?

#1 Commercial radio needs a more refined "new rock" format so that modern rock bands might be encouraged to write less-plodding songs. There's a good reason why iHeartRadio hasn't yet made room for Car Seat Headrest and Parquet Courts.

#2 Music blogging in 2006 cared way more about supporting great bands as opposed to 2016 where good songs seem to matter way less. In order for ad revenue to flourish, weekly posts about Kanye, Drake and Beyonce are now pretty much mandatory.

Norm & Nick
We haven't broken our posts into headlines anytime recently. So here's our final headline: We've been enjoying Norm MAC-Donald's podcasts, and the Nick Swardson episode is possibly our new favorite. Enjoy:

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Obligatory Current Events Post


Happy Thanksgiving.

Back in the geocities days, we had a LOT more time and energy for things like journaling, masturbating and keeping very frequent TMK updates on topics such as the outcome of Bush vs. Kerry. In November 2004, social media was essentially centered around Livejournal and the away messages on AOL Instant Messenger. For anyone who cared to keep a blog, that was basically your personal profile. MySpace was just on the brink of ubiquity, but not just yet.

For us, 2004-2016 was entirely post college. A frame of time is built to feel less substantial as its percentage within our lifespan decreases. So if I'm 36, the last 12 years feels the same as 3.3 years as a 10 year old. It doesn't feel that long ago, but yea it was a fucking ages ago. 2004 simply couldn't happen now.

9/11 unified the United States. This is worse than 9/11.

In 2016, the extremes of the political spectrum are louder than they've ever been, and as a result, we've essentially planted the roots of a modern U.S. Civil War.

2016 is a constant stream. Everyone is already saying what we want to say elsewhere. There's not much we can add to the flow of dialog.

And this includes commentary ABOUT the commentary. But at the moment, commentary on commentary is really all we feel comfortable sharing.

We're pretty bummed with Howard Stern's lack of commentary about issues that he would have been much angrier about 12 years ago. When Robin's news reported the prospect of Trump appointing the notoriously anti-Semitic Jeff Sessions to a cabinet position, Stern was silent, and the news continued. We all know what he's really thinking. He definitely shares the same political opinions as his extremely Jewish parents. But on the air, he's been stifling his anger.

On the day after the election, however, Stern theorized that Trump's campaign was a response to NBC, who were unable to satisfy his pay demands for Celebrity Apprentice.

This might be bullshit, since NBC was planning to cancel The Apprentice anyway. But in either case, he was angry at NBC and ran for president as a publicity stunt, treating the entirety of his campaign in the same unfiltered "not here to make friends" attitude that a contestant on Flavor Of Love or Rock of Love would use to win the heart of Flava Flav or Brett Michaels.

The rush of the campaign was his fuel. Defeating HRC was his prize. Stern theorized that he spent the entire 18 months constantly ignoring a voice in his head repeating that he never actually wanted to inherit the responsibilities of a 4-year-term as U.S. President, especially considering he only has, at most, 10 good years left before his age and health make it difficult for him to enjoy life without drooling on himself. South Park's depiction of Mr. Garrison echoed this theory, although with far more blatant attempts at campaign sabotage. Mr. Garrison actually heeded those voices that Trump ignored.

His campaign promises - the wall, lock her up & draining the swamp - will never happen. There is no way in hell this guy won't obtain historically low approval ratings. But since approval is so important to him, it's possible that his extreme instincts won't completely fuck us over?

Dave Chappelle's SNL monologue and Howard Stern's Nov 9th commentary both suggested that we should wait and see what happens before getting upset. After all, Obama is still president. The electoral college hasn't actually appointed Trump with his position just yet. However, we're inclined to disagree that "wait and see" is in our country's best interest. This is not a tough game of chess. We can easily see what's happening 17 steps from now, and it makes a lot more sense to exercise the citizen's right to make any efforts at all that might prevent impending horror.

One PC Liberal opinion that we simply cannot fuck with, however, is the concept of interrupting Thanksgiving dinner if anyone in your family happens to express a political opinion that differs from yours. Or protesting by not attending. Why wait until Thanksgiving for this? Do these people love their families? Maybe we're crazy here, but we love our family unconditionally, regardless of their difference in political opinions. And yes, we've certainly fantasized (on occasion) the catharsis that might derive from confidently owning various family members in political discussions. But regardless of the doom our country is facing, we only have a set number of family gatherings left throughout our lifetimes. And as time passes, some of those people are going to disappear until eventually it's just us, on our own. And yea, we'll regret spoiling those moments. It's not worth it. If you really want to own your racist uncle that badly, maybe visit him tomorrow on Black Friday instead of fucking things up for your entire family and disregarding the investment that your apparently privileged family made in purchasing and preparing dinner for your white dumb ass.

They just got here. We have to go.

MTVZ November 2016

Forgot to post the latest edition of MTVZ. Enjoy this! We removed the original first video from the lineup bc we're fucking burnt on that topic.