Tuesday, January 30, 2024

MTVZ's Top 100 Videos of 2023 Countdown

Hey the new MTVZ is here. Please leave it on.

We had a Top 100 videos of the year list ready to post along with this but then the order got mixed up and we added like 20 more videos and then added some 80s videos so just pretend.

Note: We haven't seen a lot of these before. Lots of educated guesses. (For stuff like this, MTVZ likes to guess "what would the programmers of classic MTV put as their top 100 of the year if these just happened to come out in 1987-2002" or something.)

Okay we'll type out the first few until we get bored:

1. NewJeans - Super Shy
2. Troye Sivan - Got Me Started
3. Baby Keem & Kendrick Lamar - The Hillbillies
4. Sho Madjozi - Chale
5. Julie - Pg 4 A Picture of Three Hedges
6. The Tubs - Wretched Lie
7. DJ Crazy Times - Planet Of The Bass
8. Peggy Gou - It Goes Like Nanana
9. The Hives - Bogus Operandi
10. Yung Lean - Trip
11. 100 Gecs - Dumbest Girl Alive
12. Tyler The Creator - Wharf Talk
13. Latto ft Cardi B - Put It On Da Floor Again
14. SZA - Kill Bill
15. Bar Italia - Worlds Greatest Emoter
16. Beach Fossils - Don't Fade Away
17. Lil Yachty - The Black Seminole (SNL)
18. Pardoner - Are You Free Tonight
19. Milly - Grab The Wheel
20. Margo Price ft Sharon Van Etten - Radio
21. PinkPanteress ft Ice Spice - Boy's A Liar Pt 2
The Replacements - Bastards Of Young (Bonus 80s Videos)
Til Tuesday - Voices Carry (Bonus 80s Videos)
22. Militarie Gun - Very High
23. SZA - Snooze
24. Troye Sivan - Rush
25. Boygenius - Not Strong Enough
26. Paramore - Running Out of Time
27. Kurt Vile - Another Good Year For the Roses
28. Sabrina Carpenter - Feather
29. Promiseland - Bad Days
30. 100 Gecs - The Most Wanted Person In The United States
31. Phony Ppl - Nowhere But Up
32. etc etc...


...96. Odd Eye Circle - Air Force One
97. Tyler The Creator - Heaven To Me
98. The Smile - Wall of Eyes
99. Parannoul - We Shine At Night
100. Ghost - Jesus He Knows Me

Monday, January 29, 2024


But first, a brief word in defense of Pitchfork:

After Pitchfork's post-rebrand '80s albums list in 2018, we decided to listen through all 200 while delivering Uber Eats (one of our 4 jobs at the time), followed by 5 very long FM radio shows with one block from each album. Surprise and delight followed. We're prone to getting lost in "giant music discovery journeys" every few years, and this was among the most fun and rewarding, five years ago this month. (Mixcloud probably won't allow these to stream due to multiple tracks from same artists, but here's the playlists: http://latenightnoisefm.blogspot.com/2019/01/my-final-80s-spectrum-shows-january-2019.html)

This was our 1st complete listen through NIN's Pretty Hate Machine, The Cure's Head On The Door, The Clash's Sandinista (most of it), Iron Maiden's Number Of The Beast (not my thing), Mercyful Fate's Don't Break the Oath (absolutely my thing), Horace Andy's Dance Hall Style, Kool G Rap's 1st LP (curiously still not streaming anywhere aside from Youtube), and lots of golden era rap, reggae, metal, and punk that we hadn't gotten around to yet. Plus, it's always great having an excuse to listen through Rhythm Nation 1814 or Faith for the first time in well over 2 decades.

How's this for embarrassing: It was actually our third time reporting the findings of an entire P4k megalist on the FM radio. We covered their original '80s and '90s albums between 2008 and 2010. As their own self-awareness as an influential tastemaker visibly grew in the next decade, the range of their good and bad decisions widened to an often frustrating distance. We chose to examine the 2018 list partially to assess how that power was put to work. Maybe we'll get to eyeroll and complain. Sounds fun. It's worth the deep dive.

As it turns out, the "'80s canon revisited" is a great example of the countless instances when Pitchfork's "poptimism rebrand" (or whatever you want to call it) entirely worked. From teen pop to adult oriented, the spectrum of '80s FM blockbusters received a fresh consideration alongside the aforementioned genres excluded from their original '80s list in 2002.

After examining and consuming all the records from both, our recommendation extends to checking out any music from either list. In 2002, two records from The Police - Ghost In The Machine and Synchronicity - placed alongside King Crimson, Boredoms, Dukes of Stratosphere, and John Zorn among about 30 others cut from the 2018 version. But they're all great.

If 2018's list could've hypothetically dismissed anything to make room for these, we'd only choose two records: #117 Whitney Houston's self-titled ("How Will I Know" + nine others that are not as good) and #182 ABBA's The Visitors (a fan favorite) seem like the only 2 cases included "because poptimism" or due to name recognition. But even these two aren't necessarily egregious picks, well-fitting within its contextual scope. Our hypothesis blew up in our faces.

Both lists kick serious ass while demonstrating a lot about Pitchfork's strengths and weaknesses: They succeeded in filling many voids, while inadvertently creating others.

About 16 months ago, Pitchfork's most recent all-things-'X0s feature went live: the infamous post-rebrand '90s celebration. 250 songs + 150 albums. Without referring back in depth, we recall a reasonable tracks playlist (of songs we already knew) and a largely disappointing albums canon, lacking much of the adventure in its '80s canon from only 4 years prior. We're not sure how their staff shifted its perspectives so quickly: Reggae, metal, and non-riotgrrrl punk were replaced by hits, hits, and more hits, alongside the same legacy indie records from their original '90s canon in 2003. To their credit, there's about 10 surprisingly great rap choices (despite excluding Dr Octagon), but otherwise we hear no treasures that weren't already heard at a grocery store, kareoke bar, or dentist office. But then we felt relief that we wouldn't have to listen through the entire thing. So that was good.

(If you can find it, last summer's issue of the recently relaunched CREEM magazine includes a well-considered 20-page '90s exploration that fulfilled the level of discovery/re-discovery we were seeking.)


That was our Pitchfork eulogy. We didn't feel like creating a new post for it, so it's here.

We have long imagined that maybe anyone in this great big world might consider deep diving our own painfully considered lists -- which would be the nicest thing anyone could ever do for us -- and then heading on over to Bandcamp.Com on February 2nd (Bandcamp Day) to purchase all 61 of these flapjack flying saucer frisbees. (Yes, including the stuff that isn't on vinyl. You're smart; figure it out.)

61. Lil B BasedGods Pro Skater
October 29, 2023 // Concord, CA, USA
( BasedWorld Records )

Our top story at this hour: The final level of Activision's forthcoming Mark Gonzales Pro Skater includes the standard 10,000 Points Tape and S-K-A-T-E Tape, as well as a hidden tape that reveals itself only after the player (#1) wins an arm wrestling match against a drunken Nashville oaf, and (#2) performs a convincing chair wrestling match while landing The 900.

60. David Nance Shameless Kiss
December 1, 2023 // Omaha, NE, USA
( Self-Released )

More like Lmfao Tolhurst

59. Serpent Corpse Blood Sabbath
July 5, 2023 // Montreal, QC, Canada
( Temple of Misery )

Death Zeppelin. Morbid Maiden. Lord Halen. Dark Leppard. We could do this all day.

58. Belgrado Intra Apogeum
April 28, 2023 // Barcelona, Spain
( La Vida Es Un Mus Disogs )

Here's a band that remembers how the Androids used to swing.

57. Ὁπλίτης [Hoplites] Ψ​ε​υ​δ​ο​μ​έ​ν​η
January 1, 2023 // Ningbo, China
( Pest )

Laughing, crying, puking

56. Emily Robb If I Am Misery Then Give Me Affection
October 6, 2023 // Philadelphia, PA, USA
( Petty Bunco )

no you

55. Silicone Prairie Vol II
July 28, 2023 // Kansas City, MO, USA
( Feel It )

Homie likes telling bands to "hurry up" during their set.

54. Palehound Eye On The Bat
July 14, 2023 // Brooklyn, NY, USA
( Polyvinyl )

Sirius B, also known as the Pup Star, is one of the most massive white dwarfs known. With a mass of 1.02M, it is almost double the 0.5–0.6M average. This mass is packed into a volume roughly equal to the Earth's. The current surface temperature is 25,200 K. Because there is no internal heat source, Sirius B will steadily cool as the remaining heat is radiated into space over the next two billion years or so. A white dwarf forms after a star has evolved from the main sequence and then passed through a red giant stage. This occurred when Sirius B was less than half its current age, around 120 million years ago.

53. Bully Lucky For You
June 2, 2023 // Nashville, TN, USA
( Sub Pop )

Sup Bully.

52. Del Paxton Auto Relocator
October 6, 2023 // Buffalo, NY, USA
( Topshelf )

"Emotions flow like ink on diary pages, weaving a sonorous quilt of heartache and introspection." - ChatGPT

51. Heatmiser The Music of Heatmiser
March 30, 1992 / October 6, 2023 // Portland, OR, USA
( Third Man )

"Everybody Has It" 7-inch included with purchase. Wait... no it isn't. Wtf guys.

50. Bedridden Amateur Heartthrob
January 26, 2023 // Brooklyn, NY, USA
( Julia's War )

Merch dude was coked up and made me buy this twice.

49. The Serfs Half Eaten By Dogs
October 27, 2023 // Cincinatti, OH, USA
( Trouble In Mind )

Though the Beach Boys developed their image based on the California serf culture, Dennis was the only actual serf in the band. Carl supported, "Dennis was the only one who could really serf. We all tried, even Brian, but we were terrible. We just wanted to have a good time and smoke some fuckin weed."

48. Bory Who's A Good Boy
December 8, 2023 // Portland, OR, United States
( Earth Libraries )

"Mr. Pickles is evil I tell ya" - Grandpa

47. Lifeguard Crowd Can Talk / Dressed in Trenches
August 5, 2022 / July 7, 2023 // Chicago, IL, USA
( Matador )

Your crime is time and it's 18 and life to go

46. Obituary Dying Of Everything
January 13, 2023 // Gibsonton, FL, USA
( Relapse )

At the end of the day, Satan ain't such a bad guy.

45. Veeze Ganger
June 27, 2023 // Detroit, MI, USA
( Navy Wavy )

The Veeze secret: Record all the vox during REM sleep.

44. Andre 3000 New Blue Sun
November 17, 2023 // Atlanta, GA, USA
( Epic )

Another Etsy success story.

43. Outta Pocket Waste Of A Man
July 7, 2023 // West Bay, CA, USA
( Streets of Hate )

Yo, R.I.P.

42. Parannoul After The Magic
January 28, 2023 // Seoul, South Korea
( Topshelf )

The shape of shoegaze to come.

41. Model/Actriz Dogsbody
February 24, 2023 // New York, NY, USA
( True Panther Sounds )

Hammerin on the railroad,
Hammerin on that 5th fret,
all the livelong day

40. Rocket Versions Of You
October 27, 2023 // Los Angeles, CA, USA
( Self-Released )

The band named after SNL-alum Charles Rocket who said "fuck" during that one sketch

39. Ratboys The Window
August 25, 2023 // South Bend, IN, USA
( Topshelf )

"You did real good kid." - Hopper (Stranger Things)

38. Incendiary Change The Way You Think About Pain
May 26, 2023 // Long Island, NY, USA
( Closed Casket Activities )

No you

37. Nourished By Time Erotic Probiotic 2
April 21, 2023 // Baltimore, MD, USA
( Scenic Route )

While we're on the subject, here are the 10 best flavors of Health Aid Kombucha:
1. Ginger Pineapple Belly Reset
2. Cayenne Cleanse
3. Holiday Cheers (seasonal)
4. Ginger Lemon
5. Passion Fruit Tangerine
6. Tropical Pineapple
7. Pomegranate
8. Blood Orange Carrot Ginger
9. Tropical Punch
10. Citrus Immune Boost

36. Godflesh Purge
June 9, 2023 // Birmingham, UK
( Avalanche Recordings )

No you

35. Karenn Everything Is Curly
June 23, 2023 // London, UK
( Voam )

Due to millennials' increasingly common derogatory use, the name Karen has become significantly less popular in the United States since 2017. Millennials also killed hope, jobs, and cash.

34. Hollie Cook Happy Hour In Dub
August 11, 2023 // London, Greater London, UK
( Merge )


33. Home Front Games of Power
March 3, 2023 // Edmonton, AB, Canada
( La Vida Es Un Mus Disogs )

Personal announcement: I am happy to tell you all that I am taking a new position as Financial Director for Silicon Valley Bank. So excited to help innovation take place! 🥰🥰

32. Washer Improved Means To Deteriorated Ends
April 28, 2023 // Philadelphia, PA, USA
( Exploding In Sound )

It all comes out in the washer

31. Water From Your Eyes Everyone's Crushed
May 26, 2023 // Brooklyn, NY, USA
( Matador )

"Hey Newark." - John Wilson

30. 100 Gecs 10000 Gecs
March 17, 2023 // St. Louis, MO, USA
( Dog Show / Atlantic )

You're telling me a shrimp fried the rice?

29. The Toms The Toms
September 1979 / March 31, 2023 // Hamilton Township, NJ, USA
( Feel It )

Famous Toms throughout history include Scottish-American golfer Tom Anderson, former Alaska representative Tom Anderson, Beavis and Butthead's farsighted neighbor Tom Anderson, and of course Thomas Anderson, also known as Neo from The Matrix.

28. Cherry Glazerr I Don't Want You Anymore
September 29, 2023 // Los Angeles, CA, USA
( Secretly Canadian )

Our notes say "Something that relates to Cherry Garcia or the cherry atop the ice cream on the John Dwyer album cover at #27"

27. John Dwyer Posh Swat
February 17, 2023 // Los Angeles, CA, USA
( Rock Is Hell )

Our notes say "Something about Cherry Glazerr on the ice cream, or some sort of word association thing like how "Posh" is Victoria Beckham, and a fanfic tale about the resale app Poshmark valuing her mountain high collection of fancy heels and bags at over one billion US dollars but she accidentally lit the entire mountain on fire after a nearby Tesla explosion and then she chipped a nail and was all like 'fuckin bollocks' or whatever, yea that works"

26. Liquid Mike S/T
March 10, 2023 // Marquette, MI, USA
( Kitschy Spirit )

That's the title.

25. Queens Of The Stone Age In Times New Roman
June 16, 2023 // Palm Desert, CA, USA
( Matador )

Times New Romulus.

24. Graham Hunt Try Not To Laugh
December 15, 2023 // Milwaukee, WI, USA
( Smoking Room )

23. Fu Manchu Fu 30 Volume 1-3
November 23, 2023 // San Clemente, CA, USA
( At The Dojo )

One might call this Fu Manchu's Greatest Hits 2020-2023. Not us though. We would not call it that, even though it has everything they released during those years plus one of those "when the big hit gets recorded for the greatest hits album" like "Mary Jane's Last Dance" or "The Whole World" or "Do I Do" or "Tonight She Comes." It's not streaming though, so the artwork and stream here are actually Fu30 Vol 3 (Feb 2023). But it's all good.

22. Bar Italia The Twits
November 3, 2023 // London, Greater London, UK
( Matador )

The watusi. The twits. Eldorado.

21. Danava Nothing But Nothing
April 28, 2023 // Portland, OR, USA
( Tee Pee )

How do you pronounce Danava? Danava danava bo-banava banana fanna fo-fanava me my mo-manava danava?

20. Larry June The Night Shift
November 10, 2023 // San Francisco, CA, USA
( Empire )

I give.

19. Physique Again
February 14, 2023 // Olympia, WA, USA
( Iron Lung )

"All of my life. Where have you been. I wondering if I ever see you again." - Sheryl Crow

18. FACS Still Life In Decay
April 7, 2023 // Chicago, IL, USA
( Trouble In Mind )

Alternative FACS

17. Otto Willberg The Leisure Principle
September 1, 2023 // London, UK
( Black Truffle Records )

"Long Bass" Album Of The Year

16. KayCyy TW2052
May 26, 2023 // Nairobi, Kenya
( BuVision )

Open up the pit.

15. Troye Sivan Something To Give Each Other
October 13, 2023 // Melbourne, Australia
( Polydor / EMI )

Troye Sivan is like "Hey guys, check it out. My head is this dude's dick," and everyone immediately erupts into hysterics falling on the floor with aching sides.

14. John Medeski The Curse: Music From The Showtime Original Series
November 17, 2023 // Louisville, KY, USA
( Milan )

Nathan Fielder with a big smile says "Hey guys, check out my dick" and everyone silently stares in shock with disgust and revulsion.

13. Yo La Tengo This Stupid World
February 10, 2023 // Hoboken, NJ, USA
( Matador )

"Why oh why must Hannukah come but one night per year?" - Ira Kaplan, at YLT's sold out Hannukah show

12. The Replacements Tim: Let It Bleed Edition
September 18, 1985 / September 22, 2023 // Minneapolis, MN, USA
( Sire / Rhino )

"Don't wanna be an American idiot / All I wanna do is have beer for breakfast" - Paul Westerberg

11. Sweeping Promises Good Living Is Coming For You
June 30, 2023 // Lawrence, KS, USA
( Feel It / Sub Pop )

10. Brain Tourniquet An Expression In Pain
February 24, 2023 // Washington, DC, USA
( Iron Lung )

"Don't you boys know any nice songs?" - Brain Tourniquet's mom

9. Dazy Otherbody
March 20, 2023 // Richmond, VA, USA
( Lame-O )

On the next A.I. Seinfeld: "My non-problematic programmer taught me to sing this other catchy tune, would you like to hear it? Goes a little somethin like this: "Watch a little Day zee grow / Little day zee grow / Push a little Day zee make um come up" " **canned lolz** "Hal, you're scarin' us." **canned lolz**

8. Tyler The Creator Call Me If You Get Lost: The Estate Sale
March 31, 2023 // Bel Air, CA, USA
( Columbia )

Tyler buys and sells an Arbys in New Jersey.

7. Tkay Maidza Sweet Justice
November 3, 2023 // Adelaide, Australia
( 4AD )

Guessing last year was not that weird. Yo, remember in 2014 how psyched everyone got for "U-Huh" and Tkay used to like our tweets? What is time?

6. Blawan Dismantled Into Juice
May 17, 2023 // Berlin, Germany
( XL )

Bad acid trip in which the Hudson Yards Vessel becomes sentient, sweating out several hundred gallons of pea soup while crowning itself the new CEO of Waystar Royco.

5. Narrow Head Moments Of Clarity
February 10, 2023 // Houston, TX, USA
( Run For Cover )

You boys are fantastic.

4. Lil Yachty Let's Start Here
January 27, 2023 // Atlanta, GA, USA
( Quality Control )

Hears Dark Side of the Moon once.

3. Chappell Roan The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess
September 22, 2023 // Willard, MO, USA
( Island )

Somethin like a femineminominanum.

2. The Tubs Dead Meat
February 24, 2023 // London, UK
( Trouble In Mind )

"They call me Mister Tubs" - Mister Tubs (1970)

1. Pardoner Peace Loving People
June 23, 2023 // San Francisco, CA, USA
( Bar/None )

But now the kids say Stereolab is out and Da Share Z0ne's back in