sooooooooooooooo tapped out.
"It's like meeting the girl of your dreams and then finding out she's five."
#20 Weezer "Tired Of Sex"
This fuckin guy Rivers. He's just a regular Don Johnson, isn't he? Whippin' off the towel every chance he gets. Matt Sharp & Pat Wilson achieve murderous tendencies throughout the final minute of this.
#19 Spacehog "In The Meantime"
"All The Young Dude Kids" Not inspired by the movie Kids, although some of the kids from that movie hang out in video and all of them are now probably singin' a tune to the name of 20 million dollars worth of death because they're dead.
#18 Local H "Bound For The Floor"
Scott Lucas and Joe D did the hot/cold peekaboo game with us when we were learning division tables on flashcards n shit. We looked up over the table and there they were with 45/3 ready to jam it.
#17 Dr. Octagon "Blue Flowers"
Kool Keith cut my place in line for license plates at the DMV, but it's ok. Later on we got 5 name changes all at once.
#16 Ginuwine "Pony"
Ginuwine is in that classification where you wer.e. Ginuwine's world tour requires TWO tourbuses. One for Ginuwine and one for his infinite throbbing boner, all snug and pleasant and comfy. He gets to play with teddy's and sleek salamanders searching for whatever it is that turns him on. Timbaland's burp noise is actually Timbo's dick waking up the mourning. He's pissed off and needs his coffee. "Mourning wood" can't get this man down.
#15 Weezer "I Just Threw Out The Love Of My Dreams"
Glancing often, 12 or 14 times within an hour-long period. This means equals mad DTF but all parties involved are just straight-up cleva. No words exchnaged. Try again tomorrow when lots of discovery at Bradlee's can make it alright. David Bowie's Earthling. I mean, it was there, it was right in my hand. I totally wasnt expecting to steal it but they just made it to easy for me. And then the next day in class i placed in on her desk without telling anyone who put it there. Driving away sad. (Editor's note: This never happened.)
#14 Outkast "Elevators"
slidin' up and dow. baritone saxophone section's part sounds a little silly, i dunno, maybe i'm out of my league here. (Editor's note: there's no bari sax in this song lol.)
#13 Modest Mouse "Whenever You Breathe Out I Breathe In"
Been having some breathing problems attacked to anxiousness; it makes me breathe deep. i've been tld that someone breathing in will harken the youth back into my lung. Haven't see you aroud not going to bed until flash carsd.lllll
#12 Local H "High Fivin' MF"
Massive unmovable guitar riff. "Riff of the year" and arguably of the decade and don't let the man get you down otherwise with any of that claptrap which might suggest Page & Plant or Eric Clapton Unplugged which can both suck the eggs out of the roosters cow wing.
#11 Aaliyah "If Your Girl Only Knew"
Untainted and pure. It slipped our minds that princess Aaliyah was once married to a man who appears in this list who sang about "keepin in the down low," and apparently he didn't because everyone knew about it. 'If Your Girl" is an understanding and unheralded subdued Timbo banger. Don't mess with the best.
#10 Cannibal Corpse "Devoured By Vermin"
No fear for George Corpsegrinder. He just took right over, in charger after Chris Barnes found better luck in Sex Feet Under. This should have been #1 We fucked up. Top 10 isn't bad though..
#9 Ghostface Killah "Winter Warz"
Drivin' up with Dad. Cappadonna comes up and son starts wondering about the meaning of it all. Dad made a wrong turn and stopped short to turn around. No matter to him.
#8 Failure "Smoking Umbrellas"
Yes, Doorknob was glowing. I was there, I saw it. It as great.
#7 Beck "Jack-Ass"
Havin some trouble finding the Youtube video with Willie Nelson. It's one of our favorite videos, but unfortunately not included on Beck's account. "Lose ends tying a noose in the back of my mind."
#6 Weezer "Falling For You"
Moments in life sometimes can feel as extreme as this song suggests, those extremities are often soaked in hope and nervousness and uncertainty. Just about to start learning about someone who might be amazing and the enormity of that moment. "I'm shaking at your touch." God, that bridge, and the outro. Starting to doubt self-worth the instant she doesn't immediately respond to a text or email. It's the end of the fucking world.
#5 Mark Morrison "Return Of The Mack"
Optimism is large tonight. This dude's head is slightly enormous. The Mack is the guy who busts down the double-doors and walks into the bar like "yeah, fuck you," and he's the hypothetical awesomest guy ever, and nothing can bring this guy down, so don't even fucking try. The heartache is still persistent, and sometimes he requires a scream of "OH MY GOD."
#4 Radiohead "Exit Music (For A Film)"
This very obscure hidden gem plays during the credits after Leo and Claire Danes do themselves in. Months later it was thrown in the middle of some weird album that no one's ever heard. (This is not cheating. YOURE cheating.)
#3 Jay-Z and Notorious B.I.G. "Brooklyn's Finest"
"If Faye have twins, she'd probably have two Pacs. Get it? Tupac's?" Ignore the lame Scarface intro, obviously. By the time we're 45 seconds in, Jay and Big Smalls unlocked their first trade-off. This song had no ambition of receiving radio airplay but turned into a classic of the era anyway, despite the fecal-pants chorus inspiring a young Nicki Minaj 14 years later with "Did It On 'Em."
#2 Ghost Town DJ's "My Boo"
First time around: There's definitely something distinctively "classic 90's" about a song whose drums are encouraging grind-dancing, but whose innocent lyrics, playful keyboards, and simplistic vocal melody paint images of 7th graders dreaming about their crushes while they're supposed to be workin' on their studies. Two years later we like it even better. We're actually straight up bummed we considered it a guilty pleasure as opposed to a straight up 90s jam.
#1 Aaliyah "One In A Million"
The greatest jam of all time. What more can really be said about it? Her particular style of "teen-girl subtly hinting at promiscuity" predates everyone else, albeit much more tastefully than what followed. With this song, Missy & Timbo kicked off their trippy futuristic sci-fi party. "One In A Million" is a perfect jam for the stars...