Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Happy New Beer

Best Live Rock Moments We Saw In 2014

Figured we should try goin' out with 1 more (hastily thrown together) rock list before the year's all over and finished. Much like our guilty pleasure lists (which we no longer post every year, although '80 guilt, '90s guilt, and 2000s guilt lists have shown up in the blogspot version of TMK) or our "vomit" lists, it's a personal one that doesn't really matter to anyone more than the writers of this website, since few people experienced the exact same shows as us.

We saw A LOT of shows this year. Probably too many. Way more than we wanted to. It's probably been the #1 coolest benefit of travelling around in a rock band for more than half of the year. As a result, we were fortunate enough to catch some of the best live sets we've ever seen. From those sets, here are what we thought were the best moments.

Honorable mention: Earl Sweatshirt reciting almost every word while backstage during Schoolboy Q (Chicago)


Honorable mention: Nick Cave doing the thing where he spontaneously jumps into this weird dance move thing where he points while lunging forward cuing the band to nail the intro of the song without a count off (Louisville)


#10 The Jicks covering "Outdoor Miner" (Pioneertown & Seattle)
(not on Youtube but "Stereo" is so yeah)


#9 TIE between Sloan closing their 1st set (of 2) with "Pen Pals" and starting their 1st set with a 17-minute song that many initially thought was a medley of 4 or 5 different songs (Hamden)


#8 Ex-Breathers at Office Lounge (Tallahassee)
(nothing on Youtube unfortunately, but there's a set from the following day so close enough)


#7 Lil B's grand entrance when our picture ended up on 50 people's instagrams (SUNY Purchase)


#6 The sporadic remnants of Grass Is Green's Halloween '13 set as Chavez throughout January 2014 (Jacksonville, New Brunswick, and a few other spots)


#5 Mystikal's unannounced surprise 2AM 15-minute set at Bonnaroo (Manchester, TN)
("Bumpin' Me Against the Wall," "Shake Ya Ass" and "Danger")


#4 Kris Kuss's drumstick acrobatics during Pile's "Special Snowflakes" (every show)


#3 Palberta at Palisades (Brooklyn)
(not on Youtube n stuff)


#2 Mark E Smith stumbling while screaming into kick drum mics, turning up amps to 11 and unplugging stuff (Nîmes)


#1 Slint "Good Morning Captain" at Primavera (Barcelona)

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

"New York's Alright If You Like Sex and Phones"

We didn't expect to find worthy inclusions that missed out on the deadline for Vid Kids 2014 so quickly, and especially not prior to New Years Day. But yes, it happened. "New York's Alright" has a quick back-and-forth sequence between one of their band members standing and a street mural drawn up of the same guy. The video ultimately culminates in a sequence at a record store where one of the band members smashes a copy of Parquet Courts' Light Up Gold LP. Fucking brilliant.

Emma's EOY Rock Listicle

Special thanks to @ween_ebooks for throwin' some dope end-of-year lists in our direction. We're grateful for all these guest contributors who are essentially buying us time while Hot Mix 2014 gets finished up.

The @ween_ebooks Top 10:

1. Myriam Gendron - Not So Deep As A Well (Feeding Tube)


2. Hive Bent - Dyatlov (New Day Rising)


3. Chris Weisman - Monet In The 90s (OSR)


4. Freddie Gibbs & Madlib - Piñata (Madlib Invazion)


5. Ex Hex - Rips (Merge)


6. Disco Doom - Numerals (Defer)


7. The Austerity Program - Beyond Calculation (Controlled Burn)


8. Shellac - Dude Incredible (Touch and Go)


9. Narrow Head - Far Removed (Floodlight)


10. Elisa Ambrogio - The Immoralist (Drag City)


Best reissues & compilations: 
Unwound – No Energy
American Football – American Football [Deluxe Edition]
The Clientele – Suburban Light
Life Without Buildings – Any Other City
The Deep Freeze Mice – The Best Of The Deep Freeze Mice
Victrola – Maritime Tatami
Ned Doheny – Separate Oceans
Nikki Sudden & Rowland S. Howard – Kiss You Kidnapped Charabanc
Longmont Potion Castle – LPC Ultimate Session Bundle

Honorable mentions: 
Tinashe – Aquarius
Aphex Twin – Syro
The Gotobeds – Poor People Are Revolting
Geronimo! – Cheap Trick
Ed Schrader's Music Beat – Party Jail
Watery Love – Decorative Feeding
Angel Olsen – Burn Your Fire For No Witness
Multicult – Variable Impulse
Vertical Scratchers – Daughter of Everything
Alex G – DSU
Spider Bags – Frozen Letter

And...Black Messiah screwed up my entire list so I don’t even know what I believe anymore.

Important remarks:
- Got trashed on “Dreaming Tree,” the Dave Matthews brand wine. Maybe I should buy a pukka shell necklace because it’s all downhill from here.
- Aaliyah biopic for film of the year.
- Some venues closed. Asshats posted asshat things on the internet.
- Mark Kozelek wins Player Hater of the Year award, previously occupied by Morrissey.
- Ken Andrews read his setlist off an iPad because everyone is a millennial now.
- Bono: pro-bono?

Maura's 60-Second EOY Rock Lists

Wow, we have guest contributors now. It's almost like we're a legit online publication with actual readers or something.

Special thanks to guest contributor @Maura for rushing over some last minute end-of-year craziness. And by "last minute," we're referring to our suggestion to submit lists written in less than 60 seconds. Without further delay:

TOP LATE '80S/EARLY '90S SONGS THAT I PUT ON REPEAT AT LEAST ONCE
8. enuff z'nuff, 'happy holiday'
7. michael jackson, 'why you wanna trip on me'
6. cry of love, 'peace pipe'
5. cycle sluts from hell, 'i wish you were a beer'
4. pretty boy floyd, 'rock and roll (is gonna set the night on fire)'

3. damn yankees, 'where you goin' now'
2. toy matinee, 'last plane out'
1. roachford, 'cuddly toy'


TOP POLAR SELTZER FLAVORS
9. pomegranate
8. blueberry
7. strawberry
6. blueberry lemonade
5. strawberry champagne
4. raspberry mojito
3. blackberry bergamot
2. triple berry
1. fudge cheesecake

TOP FRUIT FLY TRAPS (thanks bananas)
5. red wine
4. raspberry mojito polar seltzer
3. apple cider vinegar
2. palmolive/water
1. apple cider vinegar/palmolive

BEST CROSSWORD PUZZLE ANSWER THAT SHOWED UP A LOT WITH CLUES THAT MADE ME GIGGLE EVERY TIME, BECAUSE THEY WERE ALWAYS ABOUT EYELINER OR MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE
1. "emo"


top three lists i almost made
3. top pieces i almost wrote but didn't
2. most poignant-in-2014 lines from 'we didn't start the fire'
1. best places i fell asleep in 2014 (still might do this one tbh)

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Ten Nice Songs from 2014 Reissues

It felt weird putting Michael Jackson in Hot Mix 2014 so this seemed to be a good way to get around it.

10. Music Love and Funk “Stone Lover”

From Purple Snow: Forecasting the Minneapolis Sound.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmmT_Rld2sQ

9. Smashing Pumpkins “Chewing Gum (CRC demo)”

From one of the 5 bonus discs on the Adore reissue.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiCv-en11cw

8. 6lx “Dynamite”

From I’m Just Like You: Sly’s Stone Flower 1969-70, a collection of singles released on his short-lived imprint.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kKcUczYxdo

7. Black Zone Myth Chant “Centre of the Universe”

Originally from 2011's Straight Cassette https://blackzonemythchant.bandcamp.com/.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42EuPXshJBo

6. American Football “The 7's (Live at The Blind Pig, Champaign, IL, 1997)”

From the Deluxe reissue of their self-titled.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25tD-ZoxGJw

5. Soundgarden “Black Days III”

From the expanded reissue of Superunknown and also a few months later included on the Echo of Miles box set.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YHw8q4Yu8I

4. Michael Jackson "Love Never Felt So Good (original version)”

Demo from 1983, released on Xscape.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fw-iK0Nztv0

3. Unwound “Seen Not Heard”

From the No Energy box set.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acFWLaxY1Rg

2. Aby Ngana Diop “Yaye Penda Mbaye”

Originally on cassette in 1994. Preserved at awesometapes.com in 2010 and on vinyl in 2014.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUYViuZfO1E

1. Slint “Pam (Rough Mix)”

From the expanded remastered Spiderland box set.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nW6pfCLpRI

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Vid Kids 2014: The Big List

One list completed before New Years Eve. We did it.



Don't look so sad and creepy, Taylor Swift. There will probably be room for you in Hot Mix 2014.

So this should buy us some time now. Plus, some friends offered to contribute to our EOY madness, so those will get posted here as they become available. Here's the complete "best of 2014" video list:

Tony Molina "Don't Come Back" (bonus)
TV On The Radio "Happy Idiot" (bonus)
Guided By Voices "Bad Love is Easy to Do" (bonus)
Action Bronson "Easy Rider" (bonus)


BERU "Beasts from the Sea" (Honorable mention)
JUCE "Call You Out" (Honorable mention)


#10 Uncle Acid "Runaway Girls"
#9 Vic Mensa "Down On My Luck"
#8 Lil B "I Love You" (2013)
#7 clipping. "Work Work"
#6 Indiana "Solo Dancing"
#5 Young Money "Senile"
#4 Warpaint "Love Is To Die"
#3 Thundercat "Tron Song" / Mr. Oizo "HAM"
#2 M.I.A. "Dubble Bubble Trouble"
#1 Flying Lotus f/ Kendrick Lamar "Never Catch Me"

Extras:
Beach House "Wishes" (2013)
Ariel Pink "Picture Me Gone"
Mac DeMarco "Passing Out Pieces"


Ready 2 prty dwn.

Vid Kids 2014 #1: Flying Lotus featuring Kendrick Lamar "Never Catch Me"

We made it to the big one, a spirited, upbeat and positive spin on what's typically viewed as the most devastatingly depressing shit ever. "Never Catch Me" was in a few other "best of" lists (notably Pitchfork), so we're assuming people have seen it already. So this might help a bit, as it's tough to describe almost anything that happens in this video without giving away the surprises. But we will say that we were totally cheering them on when they fucking stole the hearse. Like, "Yeah man, do it. Steal that hearse. Go go go!"

Vid Kids 2014 #2: M.I.A. & The Partysquad “Dubble Bubble Trouble”

Dude, first and foremost, any claim that regards M.I.A. as anything other than a genius is now no longer relevant since she has officially "gone there." Not because of the brilliance of incorporating 3D-printer-created guns in her video, but because she's the first to realize the power of sampling Shampoo's 1994 minor-hit "Trouble" pulled from the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers soundtrack CD. Let's not even get into the warped half-faces printed on the burkas, or the teen make-out hallway party, or what can only be described as LSD-influenced flashes of joy and wonder. Okay, we should probably stop there before giving away too much. Edit: Also puppies.

Vid Kids 2014 #3: Thundercat "Tron Song" / Mr. Oizo "HAM"

Whoa, two many Erics. We had no other choice but to tie these up due to the E.Andre/E.Wareheim connection (both associated with Abso Lutely Productions). And of course who could forget Flat Eric, the star of what was once called our 20th favorite video of all time??

It may be difficult to ignore the intensity of "Tron Song's" juxtaposition. The song's chill atmosphere - nearly comparable to that of Chris Weisman or possibly a similar NNA artist - strangely works alongside the relatively extreme images typically associated with Andre's penchant for removing all oxygen from our brains due to excessive belly laughs. Plus, there's so many little details that only reveal themselves after the 10th time. Cod liver oil? Upside down bass? Fireplace on TV? And even though we've now seen this about 10 times, the post-song outro still kills us.

Wareheim recently contributed his acting skills to the Oizo-directed Wrong Cops, one of our favorite movies of 2014. And just over this past month, Eric returned the favor by not only directing Mr. Oizo's latest video, but getting John C. Reilly himself to star. As much as we're usually weirded out by the expression "icing on the cake," we're kinda lost for any other way to describe the happiness received from the Flat Eric references. Weirdo-dark lmao ending. (Perhaps some context can be shed here... We just noticed in the video description that this is an excerpt from something called Rubberhead. vimeo.com/ondemand/rubberhead. We may have to check this out soon.)


Vid Kids 2014 #4: Warpaint "Love Is to Die"

Damn yo. Congrats to Warpaint for pulling Chris Cunningham back in the game. This shit looks f'n gorgeous. And mad props to whoever posted the Youtube comment "when is this coming out?!!!!??!!!! lol" and basically capturing our exact feelings on how this thing has kept us excited in anticipation for so long. You couldn't ask for a better teaser vid.

Vid Kids 2014 #5: Young Money featuring Tyga, Nicki Minaj & Lil Wayne "Senile"

Can't believe we're only at #5 and already shouting "how the fuck is this not #1" during the last review. This might be an historic instance as probably the last video with appearances from both Birdman and Wayne. And what does it say on her tummy? Possibly "Barbie?" On that note, we might as well start handing out some awards:
- Best Huka
- Best Shake-weights
- Best Gang Colors
- The "Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See" award for excellence in the field of black-light manipulation
- Best Alice Cooper (wait, that might not actually be him, but close enough).

Vid Kids 2014 #6: Indiana “Solo Dancing"

When we learned about Beavis & Butthead's resurgence back in 2010, our minds immediately started wondering and wandering around the idea of untapped music video commentary. And we know we weren't alone, although many of those in our company were probably thinking "hell yeah, boy band X and pop singer Y will finally get what they deserve." We simply anticipated ANY commentary, with dozens of videos produced between 1997 and 2011 coming to mind. For whatever reason, we had hopes reaching as high as Tyler The Creator's "Yonkers," No Age's "Eraser," or possibly even jumping all the way back to the untapped late-'90s with Chumbawamba's "Tubthumping." Our hopes - like the hopes of many others - were ultimately crushed after learning that Mike Judge was not using this as an opportunity to scratch that particular itch. B&B did watch a few videos here and there, but there were at least 2 instances where 30 minutes passed with no video commentary at all.

On occasion, a pop video like "Solo Dancing" will surface that seems almost too perfect for B&B's couch jokes. In this instance, the entire 3:33 is devoted to literal interpretations of euphemisms. Huh-huh-huh. Check it out. She's twirling her dreidel. Huh-huh. Hey, check it out. She's petting her kitty. And so on, and so forth...

Vid Kidz 2014 #7: clipping. featuring Cocc Pistol Cree "Work Work"

It's been a minute since we've seen a solid one-shot video (and as usual we're on the fence as to whether we should have "one-shot" in quotes since - like most "one-shot" movies - it appears to be comprised of more than one shot). One can imagine that it must hurt to bite onto concrete for longer than 2 minutes. Poor clipping. We don't know what he did to deserve such as fate. Perhaps it has something to do with keeping mice imprisoned.

Friday, December 26, 2014

Vid Kids 2014 #8: Lil B "I Love You" (2013)

Yeah we know this is from 2013 but we liked it better than any of his videos from the past year, and they're mostly all the same anyway. (Sorry.) He usually just lipsynchs into the camera and shows off some moves and it's pretty much always amazing. But Lil B has a softer side. When he's not pursuing the mean streets of Los Angeles, he's chillin' at the pet shop with Keke the Cat. Because Lil B and Keke love the pet shop. And for real, how many other rappers have cried fucking real tears in their video? "Most honest/touching" is not too far off.

Vid Kids 2014 #9: Vic Mensa "Down On My Luck"

So basically the whole point of "Down On My Luck" is that he gets to smoke weed at the end. We heard from sources that Bill Murray actually endorsed and funded this video after its premise was originally intended for the script of Groundhog Day 2 in which he goes through the whole process of reliving the same day over and over again until he finally makes it to the end just to light up a fat blunt. Believe us - we understand.

Vid Kids 2014 #10: Uncle Acid "Runaway Girls"

"Runaway Girls" continues the same concept and premise as their carefully crafted found-footage escapade "Ritual Knife" from way back in 2011. As a consequence, Uncle Acid and the Deadbeats remain shrouded in mystery with their faces never shown, just the way it should be.

Vid Kids 2014 (HM): BERU "Beasts from the Sea" / Juce "Call You Out"

Much like our last go 'round with a "best videos of the year" thing, our favorite video directors were almost nowhere to be found. But that's not entirely true. AG Rojas had some stuff this year.

Also, we just found out that 2014 marked the end of Michel Gondry's 3-year hiatus from trippy weirdo vids after he agreed to shoot a quicky for Metronomy.

Mark Romanek fucked up big time. Had he stuck to music video retirement following 2003/2004, he would have gone out on top after capturing Johnny Cash physically entering the gates of hell ("Hurt") and one of the greatest portraits of Brooklyn ever committed to film ("99 Problems" - coincidentally a double-case of "shoulda stayed retired.")

But no, of course Romanek just couldn't say no to a request from Taylor "God" Swift asking him to purposely make her look as awkward and embarrassing as possible in the "Shake It Off" video. It was an intriguing idea that ultimately encouraged enough wincing and discomfort that they basically sacrificed its rewatchability, somewhat missing the point of trying to create something that still looks dope the 100th time.

And Jonathan Glazer's a big-time film director now. Under The Skin was as close to Kubrick as 2014 got. Hopefully he'll stick to more stuff like this in the future.

It's harder to keep up on videos these days. But we tried. And here are our honorable mentions...

The BERU video stars all of the organisms that exist on the green earth and everything else in the universe that is circular and colorful. This ensemble cast landed a coveted role playing themselves remaining unaware how close they have come to certain grim death, or at least that's what the music seems to be suggesting.


In the Juce video, she's all paranoid and bummin' because the girl who looks like Charli XCX is all up in this dude's shit, and Juce is too reserved to go all Jerry Springer on her ass and be like "yo punk get the fuck away from my man" or whatever.

Vid Kids 2014: Bonus vids

Vid Kids is proud to present our Bonus vids. These are the ones we nominated for the Top 10 that missed out completely but bonus is still cool n stuff.

Tony Molina "Don't Come Back"
Tony Molina was able to fit more than 1 quick song into his video. So he actually threw a bonus into the bonus. We like when those guys in the background have their own secret parties unbeknownst to Tony Molina. We probably also did burrito-on-the-beach once, but we can't remember.


TV On The Radio "Happy Idiot"
Paul Reubens has still never shaken himself clear of his compelling awkwardness, which usually shines through when he tries to do anything other than Peewee.


Guided By Voices "Bad Love is Easy to Do"
This reminded us of Yo La Tengo's "Sugarcube" while also kinda sadly foreshadowing Pollard and Sprout's IRL split a few months later.


Action Bronson "Easy Rider"
Dependable PCP fights.

EOY AYO EYE (Vid Kids 2014 starts now.)

Okay we're gonna start the EOY shit now.

Yeah so we did a videos list.

A note: Only two of the songs within this post or among the "Bonus" videos, Honorable mentions or Top 10 are redundant with Hot Mix 2014. So in case anyone was wondering if the videos list is spoiling shit, the answer is "no."

We didn't do a videos list last year, and so we'll post Beach House's "Wishes" here now because it would have made the list last year if we weren't so got damn fuckin' lazy.



And a couple others straglers that also weren't good enough. For shame.

At least Mr. Pink bothered to put a bulldog in his video. So he gets mentioned here. We like the creepy faces.


As for good ol' Mac, we like the first 40 seconds of this video a lot, but then the rest is just like "uhhhh" "ehhh."

Friday, December 19, 2014

miguel wut

Congratulations to us for preparing the only year-end list rewarded by the virtues of patience. Has literally anyone else been waiting it out?

Soundin' rull good too. Happy 4:20.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Al on Youtube Part 1

We've decided that we're going to try and locate any Youtube videos that just happen to also be on a VHS that we made called "Al" back in 2006. It's a VHS compilation of random shit from TV and maybe 7 or 8 copies currently exist. We'll post more as they become available.





Hot Mix Prep


omg omg it's coming.

So excited about unveiling Hot Mix 2014. I hope we don't fuck it up too badly.

Not yet sure if we'll be doing a videos list or a vomit list. We didn't do either last year. But yeah, Hot Mix hasn't changed. 100 songs with blurbs, followed by "best albums."

Regarding December releases, J. Cole and Lil Wayne are out of the running. Wayne's album won't be out this year, and J. Cole's is kinda boring. So hopefully Nicki, Charli, Kanye and Kendrick can shake things up. Don't let us down, guys.

coming to a head

South Park's enjoyably predictable culmination of the previous 9 episodes was actually way more insane than we had thought it would be. While not as crazy as the Occulus Rift episode from a few weeks back, those two episodes are probably some of the most densely constructed episodes in years.

As much as we'd love to indulge the plotlines any futher, we're already kinda bummed that the episode has shown up in headlines on 50 different websites already and it hasn't even been out for 5 hours. And it's 3AM. Couldn't they at least have waited until the morning? No, of course not. Firstness, you guys.

i mean come awn.

Monday, December 8, 2014

da cops

the officer slammed him against the house and cuffed him. When the boy again said he couldn’t walk, the officer grabbed him by his ankles and dragged him to the car. It turned out the boy had been on crutches when he answered the door, and couldn’t walk.

Even when officers get caught, they know they’ll be investigated by their friends, and put on paid leave.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2014/12/06/i-was-a-st-louis-cop-my-peers-were-racist-and-violent-and-theres-only-one-fix/

Sunday, December 7, 2014

the history of human consciousness

It's weird to think about how it's an exciting time to be experiencing everything we take for granted.

It seems a lot harder to say this as time progresses, as we look back on previous eras, which may seem like simpler times on the surface when in fact we were only doing a very good job of lying to ourselves.

There were 2.5 billion of us in 1950. Today there are 7.1 billion. There are obviously way WAY more of "us" now than there were of "us" a hundred or a thousand years ago and earlier. So if we were to somehow measure the length of time within every moment of human consciousness that's ever happened...

We just googled "how many humans have ever existed?" and they threw 108 billion at us.

Which means that at least 6.5% of every moment of human consciousness (up until now) has been taking place within the lifetimes of everyone who is currently alive. That percentage should be higher because lifetimes are currently longer than they used to be. But either way, the percentage is constantly increasing. Over 6.5% of everyone (ever) has been experiencing 2014 and all it's various ups and downs. So as far as humans are concerned, this is actually a pretty huge moment in the history of our existence, since so many of us have been around to experience it.

So there's really two ways to view whether or not we - our actions and reactions, our efforts and our mistakes - matter. Scientists will note that humans are only a blip, and our lives really have no meaning if you take literally everything that's ever existed and will ever exist into context. But if you love humans as a species and care about humankind and the course of our history, then now really does matter a lot since an entire 6.5% of "us" (every one of us that has ever been here) is here within this moment and has been experiencing 2014 in all its glory. Now probably matters. It's a big moment.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

there's no such thing as a social issue without a hashtag

This is probably an ok time to get into stuff like this... None of the past few months of posts on this page have received more than 10 views, and I don't feel comfortable posting my opinions in a forum where everyone I've ever met will see it. If a handful of people I know see this, then fine. I just wish more of my friends would opt to post their opinions on unpopular blogs, because it sometimes makes so much more sense than displaying it so openly. I'll never understand how so many people, including many of my best friends, can constantly crave that type of exposure. Sometimes for their jobs, and I suppose that makes sense. Usually it's for simple validation. Often times it's out of perceived loneliness. "If my social media post about the opinion that I'm currently perceiving to be unpopular garners at least 3 or 4 people clicking 'like' then it means that I was right all along and I'll be able to sleep soundly tonight."

I haven't purposely been avoiding social media posts for the past two weeks, but I just don't have any words for what's been happening that would be any more profound than what everyone else has already been saying. I suppose the hurt, disappointment and frustration have been echoed throughout my specific online community, and there's comfort in knowing that you have acquaintances smart enough to match everything you're feeling. To some extent, the shitty news has strengthened our fight.

The "trending" box on Facebook has been particularly annoying as of the past 6 months or however long it's been there. They want every user to grow an addiction to clickbait so they can follow our trends. It's so transparent, and 9 out of 10 of those stories are so fucking stupid that it probably makes others - not just myself - wish that the box could just go away. But it's always there, at the top of our newsfeeds, staring at us, telling us which news stories are the most important ones based on algorhythms or whatever. If you click "x" to make it go away, it asks why you want it go to away, and I usually respond "offensive." And then it's infinitely replaced by other stories that are equally stupid.

The Jon Stewart story from today only stood out to me because I just happened to see The Daily Show for the first time in over a year last night, not because I was interested in their perspective but because I missed South Park due to the Nets game going into overtime. So I just got some work done while keeping on Comedy Central for the rest of the night waiting until the rerun at 12:30. And today the top headline on my "trending" box was regarding Jon Stewart's "serious" tone last night. I mean, I saw it last night on TV. It wasn't any more serious than any other time I've seen The Daily Show. He looked up at the sky and screamed the word "Fuck." And it was awesome, because that's basically exactly how I feel about everything that's been happening. He's basically just echoing our frustration and hurt. And they did play a really good video of two cats massaging each other to break up the awkwardness of discussing such a bummer on a comedy show.

But Facebook wants people to click, so they leave everything open-ended. "You'll never believe what happens next." Jesus, just shut the fuck up already. Whoever invented that sentence should seriously get dragged into a shark tank and left for dead.

It's not like these lynchings are a new thing. Hundreds (probably even thousands) of them since Rodney King have taken place but never gone to trial just the same as the big news stories from the past few weeks. Because the system isn't working. It breeds bullying, racism and other disgusting patterns. Even I get that, and I'm an idiot.

Hell Yes to the "Sorta Cliffhanger But Not Really" Motif
South Park did not get into serious subject matter last night. Lorde (a.k.a. Randy Marsh) played a "Women of Rock" concert along with Miley, Iggy and. Nicki. The only one out of those three who Trey and Matt spared from trashing was Nicki Minaj, who almost seemed as if she was about to befriend Lorde in one brief moment just before Lorde look the stage. It appears as though next week episode might be a large culmination of all 9 previous plotlines from this past season.

See, this is a case where it MAKES SENSE to leave shit open ended. I'm actually excited to find out what happens next week, whereas using these tactics for quick-click ad revenue kinda just leaves everyone feeling used.

I was thinking of going deeper into this but there's too much going on right now.

The Year Is Not Over Yet
Speaking of open-endedness, we're pretty psyched for the next month of releases from J.Cole, Charli XCX, Lil Wayne, Nicki Minaj, and the possibility of releases from Kanye and Kendrick. Among all of these forthcoming albs, we find it somewhat inconceivable that there won't be a few jams hot enough to immediately enter Hot Mix's Top 20. In fact, we're counting on it.

Although thinking back to 10 years ago, late 2004 was strong enough of an era where a similar trend took place. The era of "1 Thing" and "Since U Been Gone" wasn't quite immediate enough to make its impact prior to January 2005. So it's not like it's the end of the world to see a few post-EOY-results releases missing out. But if we're truly speaking about "the best of 2014," why wouldn't more people just want to wait it out?

The obvious answer is "firstness," but hey look what happened to our albums of the year? It wasn't posted until August. We cornered the market on last-ness and it actually ended up helping.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

a website with no year-end list is not a real website

The numbers in our page-visits have dropped significantly within the past year or so. Oh well. What can ya do. Life happens.

We would have kept up on this better had life not happened. And it's not like life wasn't happening before, but so many things showed up all at once over the past 12 months that some things had to get dropped, albeit temporarily.

However, one thing that will probably never get dropped are Year-End-Lists.

There is no way in hell that our collective brains will ever be able to downshift and tap the breaks on our intense passion to answer the question "what the fuck would our hypothetical best-of-the-year look like?" We do not have the ability or the strength to withstand any thought other than "Year end lists are a life priority and if you seriously think this is going to be the first year since you were 11 without a year end list then you are a massive failure."

We simply can't NOT write up a massive year-end-list. Every fucking year we tell ourselves "don't do this next year." But then the end of the year shows up, and it's like "who the fuck are we kidding. This has to be done." And we don't feel like analyzing "why" either. There's so much happening right now that we don't have time to figure out why. Only do. Like Yoda. Or Nike. Just fucking do it. Get it done and over.