Thursday, March 22, 2018

That One Episode When Beavis Scored

As far as we know, Beavis still hasn't scored. But we think he deserves it.

This might sound like a bold statement, but we think Beavis is one of the most misunderstood fictional characters of the last 30 years. He might be just as deep as Butthead is shallow, even though on the surface both characters might appear equally superficial.

In "It's A Miserable Life," we get to see what would have happened to Beavis (and everyone else in Highland) if Butthead had never been born. Beavis is still adaptable and clingy. Without Butthead, he would still live with his unhealthy obsessions: fire, explosions, poop and scoring. But he's a loyal friend who receives satisfaction from the acceptance of a dominant influence. Without Butthead, the blindly good-natured Stewart would enhance Beavis's wussier qualities. And Beavis would have been just as funny and strange of a dude in either case.

We love the part in "Tired" just before Beavis gets thrown down the hill above Highland. "Whoa, check this out! This town looks small! It's like, you can see all the little houses, Butthead. Check it out, this is pretty cool!" This was one of the first times we noticed Beavis following his naturally wussy instincts. Butthead responds with "Shut up and get in the tire," quickly luring Beavis away from his fleeting moments of aesthetic appreciation. "Oh yea. Hm. This is gonna be cool."

Beavis is adorable. We love when he answers the door at the end of "Ding Dong Ditch," sees no one there, and yells "Butthole!" But then a second later figures out what happened. "Ohhhh yea! Huh-hm. That works pretty good."

We've already discussed the Bon Jovi thing on two other pages of this B&B feature, but we keep going back to how Beavis carries and accepts his guilty pleasures. Had the show continued into the 2000s, we think he might have enjoyed some of the early-'00s emo bands that Butthead inevitably would detest. (We'll discuss more about this in a future blog post.)

Whoever wrote this on Beavis's Wikipedia page seems pretty on-point:

"On the rare occasion that a female exhibits interest in one of the duo, it is usually Beavis who gets the attention. This could be because of Beavis' somewhat childlike temperament, which is less off-putting than Butt-Head's crasser, more blatantly sexual approaches. For example, when the two encounter members of the opposite sex, Butt-Head will typically lead off with a smug opening line such as "Hey, baby", which invariably flops; Beavis, on the other hand, will usually approach the woman with a less obvious "Hi!" or "Hey, how's it going?"."

In "Another Friday Night," as Butthead unsuccessfully tries to work the cash register at Maxi-Mart while two chicks are waiting in line, Beavis quietly says to them "You know, I was first, but you can go ahead. That's just the kind of guy I am." Shockingly smooth. Later, while they're all trapped inside of Maxi-Mart, Beavis somehow gets a hold of some up-tempo metal and starts with his jerky half-karate punky dance moves. And weirdly enough, one of the chicks decides to join him! We think he actually had a pretty good shot here.

[EDIT: We've just been informed this dance is called The Dillhole.]

Within the same episode, they watch the Janet Jackson video for "You Want This," and Beavis can't stop himself from inventing a dance he calls "My Monkey Boy." It seems like he enjoyed dancing a lot more than Butthead.

Plus, his underbite creates a natural demonic smile. He usually seems happier and less angry than Butthead, even though both are always laughing together.

Butthead is usually the first to step in the way whenever it seems like Beavis is about to score, but then blames Beavis. In the song "Come To Butthead," he says "Maybe I'd score with some chicks if your buttmunch ass wasn't always hanging around." But it seems like it's really the opposite. It's Butthead who keeps blocking Beavis from scoring.

In one of the 2011 episodes, Stewart accidentally scores with some chicks; in the world without Butthead imagined in "It's A Miserable Life," Beavis would have been right beside Stewart the whole time.

It would have happened if the show continued. The episode where Beavis finally scores definitely exists somewhere in Mike Judge's head, and we think it probably will happen if the show ever returns again.

Deep down, Beavis is truly a wuss, and that's why he rules.

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

The 8 Best and 4 Worst Adventures of B&B (According to IMDB)

We couldn't locate any official fan-conducted polls of the best or least favorite episodes, so we figured the rankings on IMDB were a decent alternative. The results seem reasonably close to what hardcore fans might have chosen.

So how did Beavis score on IMDB? The top 8 all scored between 8.5 and 8.7. IMDB breaks their 1-decimal ties alphabetically by episode title, but we chose chronology to break ties because of our personal preference for earlier episodes. The bottom 4 all received a respectable score of 7.0.


#8 "Werewolves of Highland" b/w "Crying" (2011)

Contrary to popular opinion, Season 8 and its noncanonical 2011 premiere episode did NOT pick up where the show left off 14 years prior. Instead, it functions to fill in the gaps. Had the show continued endlessly like The Simpsons or South Park, this is how it would have progressed:

  • Scoring is still their primary motivation, although Beavis and Butthead no longer exclusively think with their dicks or react only to their baser impulses. They’re slightly more adept at quick inferences than in 1997.
  • For some reason, they’re paying attention in class and not goofing off as much as before.
  • ‘90s B&B writer David Felton once described his process as “Go back to the place where thinking begins and stay there.” Now controlled by a different creative crew, B&B generally seem less stupid than they used to be.
  • Butthead’s jokey demeanor drops into his mellow, alluring tone more frequently than ever before. It seems like half of his dialogue is delivered with the same tone he used for the line “Let’s get a little mellow” when they were watching “Fake Plastic Trees,” which is not the same way he used to speak. Many fans noted that Beavis’s voice sounds more grunty.
  • This was the first episode animated with digital ink and paint and not entirely hand drawn.
  • The 2 stories are permanently packaged as an unbroken 30-minute experience instead of the old school methods where MTV would re-air previously aired B&B shorts during the show’s second half.

    We’re unsure why this placed as the eighth best episode ever over classics like “Pipe of Doom” or fan favorites like “Tired.” The jokes aren’t as funny as they used to be, and the stories throughout the 2011 season felt overall conceptually overreaching.

    Fans were initially skeptical of the commentary segments switching to half-videos/half-MTV shows, although the very first Jersey Shore clip from this episode is not bad. In "Werewolves Of Highland," Beavis adds spiciness to a few lines like "Soon, they will do our bidding!" in the same way that he used to deliver his horribly classic Mr. Sulu impression. Moments like those were the ones we were waiting for.

    “Crying” is the stronger of the two stories in this episode, but mostly for its ending when we finally get to see what might have been Butthead’s death scene at age 95, directly beside geriatric Beavis who gives equally as less of a fuck about his friend’s death as Butthead expressed in “The Final Judgement of Beavis.”

    Also, this is the only episode from the top 8 current streaming at MTV.Com:

    #7 "Butt Flambé" (1997)

    Throughout October and November '97, MTV held an extended Beavis and Butthead celebration re-airing what they advertised as "every episode" in chronological order (2-4 episodes per night). It was not every episode, but they probably showed about 170 of them, which they had never attempted before. They re-aired a handful that were previously banned and a few that lifted some of the censored moments. (This was a big deal in the era before binge-marathons and DVR.) Casual viewers were reminded of the minimal, crude non-stories of 1993. The journey from "Frog Baseball" to "Butt Flambé" felt like an eternity.

    "Butt Flambé" was the third-to-last episode, premiering mid-way through the "every episode" celebration. It's as maximal and high-concept as the show ever got, including a B- and C- story, plus a mysteriously open-ended intro and closing scene. It's also (possibly) part of a loose story arc within the show's floating timeline that connects to "Beavis and Butthead Are Dead" and "Prank Call." (These connections will be explored later in this list. *spoiler*)

    Similar to '50s Looney Toons shorts, the simplicity of B&B's universe crafted itself around what the writers chose NOT to include (a tip Simpsons writers could have used from Season 14 onward). The potential scope of B&B's adventures were purposely limited, enabling the writers to get more wild and creative as the show progressed. After showing the "money shots" part of the story 197 times, the adventure that sent Beavis to the E.R. was decidedly less interesting than what happened afterwards.

    From Meeseeks and Destroy:
    Rick: (sarcastically) "Yeah, Morty, this is the part of the story evvvvv'rybody loves - scaling down 650,000 oversized steps."
    Morty: "All right, okay, you know, if this was a story, this part wouldn't be included, stupid."

    Yes, but "the parts that shouldn't be included" are essentially the basis of reality television. It was only a matter of time before TV cartoons ultimately led in this direction.

    #6 "Candy Sale" (1996)

    "Candy Sale" is a good example of a classically stupid narrative in the style of Larry Fine & Curly Howard or Jed Clampett & Jethro Bodine who probably expressed a similarly boneheaded grasp of basic sales exchange at some point.

    Mr. Candy (voiced by David Spade), formerly known as Mr. Manners, got what he deserved. He doesn't exactly say that Butthead is wrong after getting called out for holding his nads while speaking in front of Mr. Buzzcut's class. He later places his hands on Beavis and hyper-defensively loses his cool after they call him a pocket fisherman and a pervert. All signs point to B&B seeming very correct in their insight. "Ohhh no. You're not gonna pull that again. It took me six months to get another job!"

    The B&B Wikia page sheds some insight: They theorize Mr. Manners & Mr. Candy are the same character as Kelly, the doorman in the episode "Babes R Us," who calls on Thor (the security guard "gorilla boy" from "At The Sideshow") to throw their heads into sidewalk pavement multiple times. When they see Mr. Buzzcut finally kicking his ass 3 years later, it's karmic revenge.

    Video stuff: During the Coolio video, Beavis does a impression of Redd Foxx in Sanford & Son and they admit to loving the show because there's lots of garbage everywhere.

    #5 "The Great Cornholio" (1994)

    The Beavis and Butthead Wikia resource claims the original title "Breakfast Burritos" was quickly changed to "The Great Cornholio" during future airings thanks to Cornholio's instant popularity. We've found no other evidence to back up this claim. But if true, this adds some insight to Cornholio's genesis. The show creators had no intention of devising a catchphrase-heavy recurring motif easily exploitable by MTV in the coming years.

    From Taint Of Greatness...

    Mike Judge: "One night sometime right after the L.A. earthquake – maybe it locked a screw loose in my brain. I had an image of Beavis with a shirt over his head pulled up with his head sticking through, like I’d seen kids do when I was a little kid."

    Kristophor Brown (writer/producer): "I had just heard a news report that said 'A medical study says sugar does not cause hyperactivity in children.' My initial thought was, 'why don’t we just call bullshit on this medical study and have him load up on sugar and caffeine?'"

    Mike Judge: "Kris and I wrote a beginning where they go to Stewart’s house. We kinda made it up on the spot, and the rest was really just improvised. I would tell people, 'Maybe no one’s gonna like this. Maybe people will think it’s too out there.' But it ended up being THE favorite episode probably of all time. I didn’t want to do too many [more Cornholio episodes] because the magic of the first time wouldn’t be there – if you wanna call that magic."

    #4 "No Laughing" (1993)

    Many of the '93 episodes have such uneventful narratives, although those episodes did the best job of establishing the inherent boredom of dead-end Highland (a town whose home-state is never established, although we are 99% certain it's a fictional town in Mike's home state of Texas) and dreadfully miserable 7-hour high school days. The shitty animation style from that era adds so much character, establishing a Gummo-esq dichotomy uncovering beauty in the ugliness, liveliness in the boredom, thoughtfulness in the stupidity.

    We get the feeling "No Laughing" would not have been expanded to a 30-minute 2-parter had it premiered in 1994 or later. That said, it has most engaging and most memorable narrative of anything from the first 3 seasons. (The only other 1993 episode to crack IMDB's top 50 was "Closing Time," the one where a health inspector closes down Burger World after B&B spend their graveyard shift throwing fast food into the ceiling fan.)

    Early in the episode, a sharpened pencil flies into Beavis's eye socket. He initially screams, but then laughs it off moments later. The laughs are more than just punchline indicators; they're a natural defense mechanism deflecting certain death. Will their lives forever change after the staff of Highland High removes their privilege?

    It's one of Principal McVicker's first appearances, and his voice sounds uncharacteristically less quavery and more confident. In "Burger World" (a few episodes prior), his character design was not yet designated as the high school principal, but his drive-thru order (to which Butthead replies "shut up") sounds more similar to what happened after "No Laughing." We see him maniacally laughing while knocking back guzzles of bourbon hidden in his desk drawer. It's possible the quavers are a consequence of the alcoholism and drug addiction that B&B allegedly enabled.

    #3 "Beavis and Butthead Are Dead" (1997)

    When the title of the last episode leaked weeks before its premiere, rumors spread that B&B would be among the few TV shows in history daring enough to kill off its titular characters once and for all. The show creators strongly considered the idea. Either way, the title promised an exciting banger of a finale on par with the scene from Beavis and Butthead Do America when the FBI and secret service take aim at deliriously oblivious Cornholio.

    B&B did not go out with a bang. The last episode was instead a friendly wave goodbye to the hardcore fans. In its final scene, Beavis and Butthead walk slowly into the sunset with their laughter (not unlike the final scene from Do America). Instead of Mike Judge's self-recorded B&B theme song, Liberace's version of "I'll Be Seeing You" plays over the final credit scroll (alongside a once-shown "greatest hits" series of still shots). A final message is shown: "Thank you to all the talented artists, writers and highly intelligent people who worked so hard to make Beavis and Butt-head look so dumb." The last 10 seconds are silent. A blank screen shows "(c) 1997 MTV Networks" with the B&B logo one last time. Along with the majority of Season 7, the episode wasn't re-run as often as previous ones.

    There were no explosions. This was not the fabled episode when Beavis finally scored. Rather, it was the only time Beavis and Butthead opted to throw together a clip show in lieu of video commentary. It's not one of the funniest episodes, so it's a strange choice for the top 3, although its historical significance alone should be enough for canonization. Plus, it's packed with notable moments:

    - Before the show reveals that they're not actually dead, Van Driessen and McVicker discuss the whereabouts of their parents. For a moment, it seemed like the final episode might have uncovered more insight or included prominent show appearances from their moms. (It's assumed their dads are the two former Mötley Crüe roadies who cross their path in the desert segment of Do America.)
    - McVicker's drug addiction and shaky nerves immediately subside after he believes the news of their death.
    - It's never explained how they acquired three weeks worth of nachos, which is the reason why they haven't left the house in so long.
    - We're having trouble figuring out whether Tom Anderson was present throughout Season 7. His last appearance might have been in Beavis and Butthead Do America, and he is probably the character we miss the most who we wish had been present in the final episode.
    - The TV parodies were among the show's most underrated moments, and we're happy the old clips included 8 or 9 of these. "Do these buttwipes actually think we’re gonna sit here and watch the same crap over and over?” Mike was exhausted, but the viewers were not. MTV viewers proved they really could watch the same crap over and over. (This sequence was foreshadowed in Butt Flambé a few episodes prior. In the operating room, the Benny Hill parody clip with the line "I got me finga stuck in me bum" was recycled from the episode when Butthead chokes on chicken.)
    - This was Daria's final show appearance. (She's not in the 2011 season, and her own series premiered earlier that year.) Daria and Stewart seem like the only Highland students even marginally affected. Daria's memories are objective and accurate. Butthead and Stewart's memories are inaccurate, while Beavis is incapable of remembering anything.

    #2 "Prank Call" (1996)

    Harry Sachz first appears deep in Season 6 within the series' last 50 episodes. Along with the Crazy Farmer from "Bungholio: Lord Of The Harvest," he is one of the show's more mysterious recurring characters.

    The story of Harry Sachz begins in "Prank Call." He's a larger dude who drinks beer alone while watching The People's Court. The timeline implies that B&B push Harry Sachz into a maniacal rage with several months of prank call harassment. By the time of "Nothing Happened" (roughly a year later), he's involved in a high speed police chase after stealing a car and is shot by police. In "Butt Flambé" (roughly six months after "Nothing Happened"), he's in the emergency room with bullet wounds in his chest and is later pronounced dead on an operating table. Are all of these events related? So many missing puzzle pieces.

    At the time, he was one of the show's only dead recurring characters. However, between 1997 and 2011, Harry somehow recovers from gunshot death and prominently appears in the 2011 episode "Doomsday."

    A few notable moments from "Prank Call":
    - B&B's phone number is 555-2868 (which appears on Harry Sachz' caller-ID unit, recently purchased out of frustration. "Somebody gawna die."
    - Mr. Stevenson no longer teaches at Highland High School by the time of this episode. "Can somebody get that? That might be the office."

    All three vids are great examples of how video critique could miraculously uncover areas of their intelligence rarely heard outside of their living room.
    - Bucketheads "The Bomb" - Butthead invents a tongue-twister, "Her butt looks better in pants than most chicks butts look naked."
    - Bon Jovi "Something For The Pain" - Beavis defends his love for Jovi.
    - Del Amitri "Roll To Me" - Butthead says the chicks in this video give him a special feeling in his seminiferous tubules.

    #1 "Bus Trip" (1995)

    David Van Driessen should probably stop singing in public. As early as his first appearance in the Peace Love and Understanding short, the first of his nine lives ends abruptly while singing a song about Earth Day at a monster truck rally. "I'd just like to remind everybody that today is Earth Day, and everyday is Earth Day. So I'd like to ask everybody to sort of just mellow out, and if we could all just join hands and help me sing this song, that would be really great! Mm-kay? *Plant a treeeee... Save a treee...*" Around this point, the monster truck lands on his head and crushes his entire body into fragments of flesh, bone and blood. B&B respond "YES!" and headbang.

    Mike Judge has admitted that, aside from Beavis, Mr. Van Driessen was his favorite of all his voices, although he always felt uncomfortable whenever he got stuck singing one of Van Driessen's incredibly shitty folk songs like "Men (Have Feelings Too)" or "Lesbian Seagull." It seems like every time he sings in public, he's interrupted by a violently traumatic near-death experience. To B&B's credit, it's usually not their fault, although in "Bus Trip" it's partially their fault that Van Driessen was standing a little too close to the front of the bus.

    Is this the single greatest moment in B&B history?

    It's a moment when we are definitely NOT reminded that they are cartoon characters portrayed as gloriously tragic humans. His crash through the school bus window is amazing enough to get shown three times from three different angles. He warns the class earlier that the descent down "Mount Pierrdido" (huh-huh, mount) will be "quite a work out," but the MTV equivalent of a Wile E. Coyote moment is probably not what he had in mind.

    By '95, the character designs, voices, animation style, stories and jokes were as close as they would ever get to what Mike Judge had in his head when he first started. By '97, the animation had grown slightly too slick, the stories were just barely too polished, and they were no longer pacing the episodes with video commentary. So it's possible that this moment from "Bus Trip" might the culmination of their best season. It's one of those episodes that has at least one joke (sometimes more than one) within pretty much every line of dialogue.

    The show's pacing shouldn't be underestimated here. Following the bus accident, the A.D.D. nature of the show abruptly pivots to commentary for a forgotten '90s band called The Rake's Progress that focuses on milk delivery. An old guy with a long white beard is shown drinking milk from a carton. Butthead responds, "Hh-hh. I like it when old people let their mouths hang open? 'Cuz they don't remember to close it? Hh-hh." The timing of this one-liner occurs just when viewers might be cooling down from Van Driessen's gut-busting moment about 45 seconds prior. It's a 1-2 punch that just about leaves us dying in laughter, helpless against B&B's powers.



    #4 "Car Wash" (1993)

    When a new set of animators were commissioned to work on Season 3, Mike Judge felt unsatisfied with the Hanna-Barbara style subtlety in the characters' movements and gestures. "Comedians" b/w "Car Wash" is a great example. It's kind of strange seeing the way the audience applauds at the juggler in "Comedians." In Taint Of Greatness, Mike specifically notes Butthead's gestures in "Car Wash." He's shown shrugging, moving his eyebrows in an unusual manner and waving his hands while describing a plan to Beavis. The creators understood the nuances of classic animation well enough to know that it wasn't appropriate for this show.

    Either way, "Car Wash" is a strange choice for the 4 least favorite episodes. We always thought of "My liver! My liver!" as one of the show's more memorable early moments.

    #3 "Yogurt's Cool" (1993)

    This episode from late in Season 2 was frequently run during Summer '93's weekend Moronathons. The story starts out okay with B&B watching a girl licking a froyo cone in a TV commercial, and it might be the only time Butthead says "Whoa. Huhuh. I'm getting a boner." The rest of the story is pretty bad. They buy yogurt cones at a mall and immediately hate the taste. Instead of returning their money, the store manager pushes the cones in their faces and laughs. B&B get revenge by smearing the yogurt on the walls of the mall. After they run into a mall security guard, the story abruptly switches to a meeting with a high school guidance councilor. This final scene feels like it was pulled from an entirely different episode, and it doesn't refer to the mall sequence at all.

    In the video commentary, Rick James' "Superfreak" and T'Pau's "Heart and Soul" (two of the greatest songs of all time) are both stamped with the official "this sucks" tag. Their assessment of "Heart and Soul" resembling a phone sex commercial seems ok, but the writers might have expanded that concept into more bizarre and sillier areas in a future episode.

    #1 & #2 "Sign Here" b/w "Give Blood" a.k.a. "Blood Drive" (1993)

    Is this episode actually that bad? As mentioned earlier, Mike Judge hates both parts, and was "burying [his] head in the sand" after its premiere. But it was a success anyway. Both parts of the episode start with the TV parodies and fake commercials that became often used throughout the series. There's something to be said when the strength of the characters and the freshness of the format can still generate over a million new fans within 5 days even though it's probably the series' poorest animation quality and includes two of its weakest stories. (To be fair, "Yogurt's Cool" looks worse and has NO story.) The strength of the format itself is noteworthy since it hadn't been attempted on MTV before, and it was the perfect point in history to show cartoon metal fans' negative reactions to Hall & Oates and Huey Lewis. (P.S. We're fans of both artists.)

  • Tuesday, March 13, 2018

    "Who Is The #1 Artist In B&B History?" and other fun stats

    B&B's notoriety for controversy and remaining consistently funny often unfairly overshadowed its musical canonization. The show deserves more credit for rescuing at least 100 bands from complete obscurity. Mike Judge's perfectionism enabled him to dig past the hits, not only for unexpectedly odd low-hanging clips that were easy to shit on but also visually memorable videos that he personally dug. The show was also re-run very often, while 120 Minutes and Headbangers Ball were not (and had far less viewers).

    The #1 Artist In B&B History
    The musician who has appeared on the most episodes of Beavis and Butthead might be Flea, who appeared in RHCP videos 4 times. B&B also enthusiastically reacted to Flea's cameo in Butthole Surfers' "Who Was In My Room Last Night?" The 1996 line-up of RHCP charted with their cover of "Love Rollercoaster," from Beavis and Butthead Do America. They also submitted an excellent cover of The Stooges' "Search and Destroy" for The Beavis and Butthead Experience LP.

    It's possible that Red Hot Chili Peppers deserve the award for the #1 Beavis and Butthead artist of all time.

    White Zombie notably express gratitude to B&B who they claim hugely contributed to their success after the show's enthusiastically positive reaction to "Thunder Kiss '65," "Black Sunshine" and "Welcome to Planet Motherfucker" throughout 1993. They returned the favor contributing "I Am Hell" to The Beavis and Butthead Experience comp and "Ratfinks, Suicide Tanks and Cannibal Girls" to the Beavis and Butthead Do America soundtrack.

    Along with RHCP, other artists who appeared four times include Beastie Boys (whose "Looking Down The Barrel Of A Gun" was covered by Anthrax on The Beavis and Butthead Experience comp), Biohazard, Danzig (whose "Mother" is the only song to receive commentary twice for both studio and live versions), David Lee Roth (solo only, never appearing on B&B in a Van Halen video), Faith No More, Pantera, R.E.M., Soundgarden, The Ramones and U2.

    Motley Crue appeared three times, including once without Vince Neil, who also had a solo video in one episode.

    Les Claypool appeared on the show in two Primus videos and also once in the band Sausage, who Butthead referred to as The Seminifreous Tubloidial Buttnoids. Primus recorded "Poetry and Prose" (a song literally about watching Beavis and Butthead) as their contribution to The Beavis and Butthead Experience comp.

    Dave Grohl appeared in two Nirvana videos and one Foo Fighters clip.

    Along with White Zombie, other artists to appear three times include AC/DC, Alice Cooper, Alice In Chains, Bjork, GWAR (who are prominently featured in MTV's Beavis and Butt-Head: The Game for Sega Genesis and SNES), Madonna, Nine Inch Nails, PJ Harvey, Rollins Band, Salt-n-Pepa and Ween.

    1994: The Year B&B Broke Bands
    Not everyone had the Columbia House catalogs, which was probably the OTHER major reason (besides B&B) why average high school kids might have been familiar with Matador band names like Helium, Pavement, Chavez, Pizzicato Five or Jon Spencer Blues Explosion. For a certain MTV viewer, Helium is immortalized as the band whose lead singer was dragging a hoe through a garden, while Pizzacato Five is remembered as having a band member who looks like Eddie from My Three Sons. (Hugely underrated Butthead impression: "Hhhhhey Uncle Charlie. Seems like a lotta work to me.")

    Multiple show appearance from King Missile, Babes In Toyland or Quicksand arguably gave those bands a larger promotional push than a one-time appearance on Letterman.

    In either case, Seaweed might have been remembered as that band whose video began with the disclaimer "Over 5 Zillion Bikes Are Stolen Every Year," but re-runs on Beavis and Butthead continued to air the "Kid Candy" video long after its shelf-life on 120 Minutes had ended.

    Ween were a grower band. Butthead's initial reaction to "Push Th' Little Daisies" was "These guys got no future." A year later, their reaction to "I Can't Put My Finger On It" mostly focused on gyro restaurants until its outro when Beavis says, "But yaknow, it IS kind of a good song. If you listen to it, it is pretty cool." They upgraded Ween's status again a year later while catching the "Freedom Of '76" video, singing along to "Freedommmm" and calling them out by name: "Check it out. It's Dean and Gene Ween. Ween kicks ass."

    Despite their fandom of hard metal, they did not enjoy deathmetal bands like Cannibal Corpse, Morbid Angel or King Diamond nearly as much as early '90s hardcore metal like Pantera or Crowbar or the louder end of the grunge spectrum like Soundgarden or Alice In Chains. They notoriously hated late '80s pop metal and were unjustly blamed for ending the short-term careers of bands like Winger and Poison whose popularity had already been disintegrating by 1993.

    Three Times B&B Watched The Entire Video
    The structures were left untouched since they're all pretty short songs. Even if Beavis wanted to shout "change it!" he simply didn't have enough time.

    1. Gary Young "Plant Man" (July 1995)
    We suspect that Beavis's "heyyyyyy Butthead" might have been a vague reference to You Can't Do That On Television.

    2. Elastica "Connection" (September 1995)

    3. Del Amitri "Roll To Me" (January 1996)

    (bonus) Nine Inch Nails "March Of The Pigs" (May 1994) also came close. A short section from verse 2 was cut.

    (bonus) Not available on Youtube, their two commentaries from the Thanksgiving special in November 1997 unusually allowed commentary to continue past the 2:30 mark. Almost all of Marilyn Manson's “Long Hard Road Out of Hell” and Fiona Apple's “Criminal” were shown.

    Videos We Wrongly Assumed Were On B&B
    Our B&B trivia was not a sharp as we originally thought.

    1. Van Halen "Hot For Teacher"
    We're surprised to discover David Lee Roth's solo videos were shown four times and yet the only Van Halen video shown was "Can't Stop Loving You" from 1995's Balance (a Hagar video which they correctly assess as resembling one of those really horrible early '90s country videos from TNN).

    2. Gilby Clarke - any video
    Gilby Clarke had no solo videos on B&B. We probably got this confused with Izzy Stradlin and Slash's Snakepit, both shown once each, while GNR's two videos were "Garden Of Eden" and "Paradise City."

    3. Snow "Informer"
    Huge during Spring 1993. Low-hanging pop. Many 9-year-old fans. But somehow, Mike never threw it into the rotation.

    4. Smashing Pumpkins "Bullet With Butterfly Wings"
    5. Alanis Morissette "Hand In My Pocket"
    6. Alanis Morissette "You Oughta Know"
    Video commentary quietly ended by the time these videos blew up in September '95. We'll discuss this more in a future post.

    Three Videos B&B Shockingly Enjoyed
    1. Bee Gees "Jive Talking"
    "Is this The Black Crowes?" "No way! These guys are cool." (P.S. It also seems odd that they never watched a Black Crowes video.)

    2. Wilco "Box Full Of Letters"
    Not on Youtube. Butthead has trouble understanding his enjoyment: "Uhh. Something about this sounds different."

    3. Bon Jovi "Something For The Pain"
    While they were watching "In These Arms" in late '93, Beavis asks, "Remember when these guys were cool?" alluding to some secret guilty-pleasure Jovi fandom. Butthead laughs and responds, "You probably like these guys, wuss." It took over two years for Beavis to finally stand up for himself during the "Something For the Pain" video in January 1996, hinting that Mike Judge felt guilty whenever fans would misinterpret B&B's in-character criticism as a serious taste-making alternative. Granted, they usually had pretty great taste in bands, although Beavis was kinda wrong in this case; "Something For The Pain" is terrible.

    We'd like to think Mike Judge didn't actually pronounce Nirvana's name incorrectly IRL. His bit for "Heart Shaped Box" was recorded pre-death but eerily first aired post-death in May 1994. It wasn't until "I'll Stick Around" in November 1995 that NirvaRna was acknowledged one last time.

    Beavis's "channeling of a rock critic" sequence was pretty amazing, and we wish Mike Judge had tried this more often.

    Friday, March 9, 2018

    Beavis and Butthead's Greatest Hits

    A few other similar "Best music videos" listicles popped up over the past few days.

    Some are surprisingly well packaged, and you can tell the blogger actually did some research, such as "Beavis and Butthead's Top 40 One-Liners" from Ultimate Classic Rock:

    Others seemed poorly thrown together, such as Consequence Of Sound's "The 10 Greatest Music Videos of All Time According to Beavis and Butt-head," a listicle described as "videos that don't suck nads," as if "suck nads" was a phrase ever once written into the dialogue of a single B&B episode. The Ramones' clip from B&B's 1st episode is a bizarre #1, especially since they barely express anything beyond headbanging, laughing and "this rules".

    It wouldn't be easy to pick their favorite video. They got excited enough about GWAR's "The Road Behind" that the commentary was almost entirely the word "GWAR" repeated over and over.

    Butthead's repeated "YES! YES! YES! YES!" throughout the intro of Pantera's "I'm Broken" might have been the closest he ever got to reaching Beavis's excitability. They were headbanging far less often after Season 3 as Mike Judge forced them to watch mostly videos that they largely detested or might have enjoyed if the song or visual cliches didn't seem derivative. "I'm Broken" felt like a moment of euphoria. If we were forced to pick their favorite video of all time, this might be it.

    And now, here's our completely subjective choices for their 10 greatest video commentaries...

    10. Rollins Band "Liar"

    9. Crowbar "Existence Is Punishment"

    Pig out.

    8. Soundgarden "Black Hole Sun"

    Juan Valdez.

    7. Danzig "Cantspeak"

    Toilets of the future.

    6. Mercyful Fate "The Bell Witch"

    Beavis finally locates the turdburglar.

    5. Annie Lennox "No More I Love Yous"


    4. Live "I Alone"

    3. Slim Whitman "Paloma Blanca"

    Season 1, 45 seconds long. A rarity.

    2. Pantera "This Love"

    1. Yanni "Reflections Of Passion"

    Thursday, March 8, 2018

    MTVZ: March 2018

    We'll have more B&B posts throughout this weekend.

    Beavis & Butthead dominate this month's MTVZ with mad video commentary.

    The Banned B&B Episodes Of 1993

    We'd like to think that many '90s teens have fond nostalgia for drifting off to sleep while B&B was shown on MTV. Throughout the majority of its run, it was often programmed after The State on Saturdays at 11:30. On Sundays, it aired at 11PM before Liquid Television and 120 Minutes.

    From March until mid-October 1993, B&B was also shown during prime-time once or twice between 7-8PM. Within seven months, the show's popularity with young people exploded to the point where B&B's world was incessantly adored and annoyingly imitated. As Season 2 continued, it generated intense polarization on both ends.

    The show was blamed for an October 8th incident when a 5-year-old was influenced by the show to purposely ignite his family's trailer home killing his 2-year-old sister. No other copycat incidents were reported; however, the show was unjustly blamed for a Jersey City teen releasing a bowling ball from an overpass bouncing through the window of a car driving under the Holland Tunnel and killing an infant.

    Within days after the Ohio incident, MTV publicly stated that the show would no longer air prior to 10PM. Disclaimers were added. The word "fire" and any references to fire were infamously deleted from subsequent airings of Season 1, 2 or 3 episodes. Less infamously, the phrase "choad smoker" was also removed. Beavis used to be seen occasionally lighting a cigarette, but no more. Certain episodes no longer exist in their original form after MTV made permanent cuts. The documentary Taint Of Greatness claims that four episodes were forever banned, although a 2013 article from L.A. Weekly lists at least six.

    Here's what we could find.

    #1 "Way Down Mexico Way, Part 2" (May 26, 1993)

    This episode is fucking insane. They hitchhike to Mexico, feed hot sauce to a dog, and smack a firecracker-obsessed boy unconscious with a piñata stick. In one scene, B&B swallow condoms filled with pills to help a drug smuggler sneak them past the Mexican border. And of course, the condoms open up while in their stomachs.
    Status: Permanently banned since summer 1993.

    #2 "At The Movies" (May 31, 1993)
    B&B blow up toilets with explosives at a drive-in movie.
    Status: Banned from MTV until 1997.

    #3 "Stewart’s House" (June 14, 1993)

    Stewart's first appearance. Along with No Laughing and any adventures with Tom Anderson, this is the funniest episode of Season 2. B&B are shown inhaling gas fumes from a stove (with a disclaimer) and blowing up Stewart’s kitchen.
    Status: Permanently banned since the Ohio incident.

    #4 "Heroes" (June 30, 1993)
    Butthead fires a shotgun multiple times and shoots down a passenger airplane.
    Status: Permanently banned since the Ohio incident.
    NOTE: Surprisingly, "Heroes" has not yet been yanked from Youtube, possibly because it has never appeared on any home video release.

    #5 "Washing The Dog" (July 8, 1993)
    Offending moments include washing a dog in a washing machine and riding in the laundromat dryer.
    Status: Banned until 1997.

    #6 "Be All You Can Be" (July 15, 1993)
    Questioned for “unserious themes directed toward the military.”
    Status: Banned until 1997.

    #7 "Comedians" (September 6, 1993)

    A noticeable upgrade in both jokes and animation quality, "Comedians" b/w "Car Wash." kicked off Season 3's "All New Episodes" premiere week. Pristine uncensored 1st generation copies of "Comedians" are considered rare. It was shown unaltered only once. The scene where Beavis juggles burning newspapers was permanently cut from the master tapes. This edited version was shown during subsequent broadcasts until 4 weeks later.
    Status: Permanently banned since the Ohio incident.

    #8 "Couch Fishing" (September 7, 1993)
    Unconfirmed reports of teenagers copycatting similar couch fishing stunts raised concerns.
    Status: Banned until 1997.

    #9 "Incognito" (September 8, 1993)

    The character Earl is not prominently featured in future episodes. He carries a concealed hand gun, using it to threaten B&B and shoots out of the class window after a bullet flies in from outdoors.
    Status: Permanently banned.
    NOTE: Despite MTV banning the episodes, still images from "Comedians," "Couch Fishing" and "Incognito" were shown during the show's closing credits throughout 1994. (The screen caps shown here with the mid-2000s VH1 logo were DVR'd from European broadcasts.)

    #10 "Sperm Bank" (October 7, 1993)
    Includes sexual themes.
    Status: Banned until 1997.

    #11 "Ball Breakers" (October 25, 1993)
    Deemed questionable for re-airing after the bowling ball incident.
    Status: Banned until 1997.

    Censored Episodes
    Christmas season was just around the corner, and high demand for B&B merchandise (including the November release of The Beavis and Butthead Experience comp CD) along with pressure from fans, advertisers and investors meant MTV had to make a quick decision. They chose to continue airing altered versions of re-runs. The show creators were unhappy that many of the cuts disrupted comedic rhythm. "Fire!" was removed from almost all of these, but here are some other notable censored moments:

  • "Peace, Love and Understanding" - Glue-sniffing images were removed. (Mike Judge hated this episode anyway.)
  • "Give Blood" - The shot where Butthead breaks his giant bag of blood over Beavis' head was cut.
  • "Good Credit" - “Chode smoker” and Beavis's suggestion to light a credit card on fire were cut. Beavis’ attempt to light a parrot on fire was cut. Mr. Anderson’s repeated “Damnit! Damnit! Damnit!” was cut down to one “Damnit!”
  • "Burger World" - “Chode smoker” was removed.
  • "No Laughing" - Some of Mr. Buzzcut’s dialogue was cut, including the words “clitoris” and “scrotum” (the anatomically correct versions of these words). These cuts were restored in 1997 and appear uncensored when the clip reappeared in “Beavis and Butthead Are Dead.”
  • "For Better Or Verse" - “Light first, then spray” followed by the aerosol lighting Beavis’s face on fire was removed.
  • "Kidnapped" - The parody scene of Urkel on “Family Matters” (showing Urkel pointing to a house fire and asking “Did I do that???”) was removed.
  • "Tornado"- A parody of Barney the Dinosaur catching fire while pulling a cake from an oven was altered. Barney’s original dialogue was longer and accompanied by Beavis chanting “Fire! Fire!” but it was later shortened to Barney yelling “Help! This sucks!”
  • "Scratch N Win" - Permanent cuts were made before the episode premiered. It abruptly ends after B&B mow the anarchy symbol into the front lawn of Highland High School with a lawnmower. The rest of the episode would have shown B&B crashing the lawnmower into the car of Gina (a classmate they were hitting on earlier in the episode).
  • "Sporting Goods" - A scene where B&B light grasshoppers on fire was replaced with a scene of B&B with dueling grasshoppers.
  • "Citizen Butthead" - The Bill Clinton episode was one of the first to air after the Ohio incident. Beavis’s “Fire! Fire!” and other fire references were permanently cut prior to airing.

    And finally, from the episode "Scared Straight..."

    The Plasmatics' "The Damned" features a sequence where Wendy O. Williams crashes a schoolbus through a wall of televisions resulting in an explosion, delighting Beavis. After its first week of airing, subsequent broadcasts permanently replaced this with U2’s “Lemon,” pulled from a previous episode. The Plasmatics video was never shown again.

  • 25 Years of Buffcoat & Beaver

    Over the next few days, we'll be posting lots of content related to Beavis & Butthead in honor of Season 1's 25-year anniversary. TMK needs content, and this is a breezy topic for us.

    - 3/8/93 -
    The television debut of Beavis & Butthead technically happened on September 9, 1992 within the first 45 minutes of an especially legendary VMAs simulcast. In addition to Garth Algar, “Hi Axl,” Fartman, Flea simulating masturbation and Eddie & Kurt’s off-camera slow-dance, the nominees for each award were shown in 60-second montages bookended with brief clips produced by animators whose work was shown on MTV's Liquid Television series.

    Most viewers probably didn’t retain the weirdness of B&B’s fleeting TV premiere. Eddie Murphy announced, “And the nominees are...” followed by two unexplained, anonymous cartoon teenagers wearing metal t-shirts singing the riff from “Smoke on the Water.” The words “Best Male Video” were shown, and a few moments later, that award was presented to Eric Clapton for “Tears in Heaven.”

    Less than two weeks later (September 22, 1992), "Frog Baseball" had its low-key MTV premiere during a late-night Liquid Television episode.

    Either 9/9 or 9/22 could technically count as Beavis & Butthead’s TV debut, but we prefer to celebrate their true moment of arrival as Monday, March 8, 1993, the premiere date of S01E01 - “Give Blood” b/w “Door-to-Door.”

    - Season One -
    According to the documentary Taint of Greatness, Mike Judge and his freshly-assembled team were commissioned by MTV to finish 22 episodes by March 8th, but only one was completed in time. From 3/8 to 3/18, some combination of “Give Blood,” “Door-To-Door,” “Frog Baseball,” “Peace, Love and Understanding” (B&B’s other Liquid Television short from November 1992) and music video commentary were chopped and screwed by MTV’s editors just enough so that three 30-minute episodes of recycled content were rotating daily in the same timeslot.

    Mike Judge often spoke about how he hated the bad jokes, weak stories and crude animation in “Give Blood” and “Door-To-Door.” But despite the premiere not meeting his standards, MTV viewers immediately reacted. Kids were buzzing about it during school. On March 7th, no one knew Beavis and Butthead. By Friday, March 12th, the ratings for their time slot tripled. They had essentially gone viral.

    A new half-episode of content was finally added to the rotation on Friday, March 19th and again on Thursday, March 25th, both arriving with fresh music video commentary. And for the next two months, editors continued repackaging what couldn't have been more than 50 minutes of content. In a couple episodes, the outro of "Frog Baseball" was shown out of context. "Give Blood" was re-titled "Blood Drive" and shown in the second half of another episode. This small handful of reruns was the entirety of Beavis & Butthead’s ultra-shitty, phenomenal first season.

    - Mike Judge Shorts 1990-1992 -
    Peace, Love and Understanding (Nov '92) was the first appearance of Mr. Van Driessen and just happened to be the first B&B adventure we ever caught while flipping through cable channels. As far as we know, it's the only one of Mike Judge's shorts produced before S01E01 that isn't currently on Youtube.

    Here are all of the others we could find...

    Pencil Tests (1990)
    We'd like to think these were created while he was taking animation classes, presumably from a deep Texas heroin junky.

    The Honky Problem (1991)
    A few bits from this may have also been shown during the '92 VMAs but we could be wrong about that.

    Office Space (1991)
    This also aired on SNL during their 1992-1993 season.

    "Huh?" (1991)

    The Unused "Judgemental Films" Logo

    Frog Baseball (1992)

    Thursday, February 1, 2018

    The Top Biggest Hits of 2017

    Here are some hit songs that topped every EOY list in 2017.

    #8 Poppy and Mimi Stilton "Blessed St. Squeaky Day of Squeakyvus"

    This song is not on Youtube wtf

    #7 The Banzai Predicament "Orphaned Skies"

    #6 Chaos Chaos "Terryfold"

    #5 Mike Tyson "You Think I Wasn't Comin' Back (A-hey-yay)"

    #4 Elias Samson "There Ain't Nothing Cool About Omaha"

    #3 Steve Harvey "I Don't Want To Do 'Ask Steve' No More"

    #2 James Hurley "Just You and I"

    #1 Neon Joe Bass Solo

    Monday, January 15, 2018

    2017 Unearthed Relics List

    It's like they're old songs but also new.

    12. Radiohead “Man of War”

    From OKNOTOK 1997 2017.

    11. Ovlov "Small Voices"
    Originally from 2012's Not The Same Without You.

    10. Good Morning "Warned You"
    Originally from 2014's Shawcross.

    9. Alice Coltrane “Rama Guru”
    Originally from 1987's Divine Songs.

    8. Midnight “In League With Satan”
    Originally from 2015's Summoning the Hounds of Hell: A Tribute to Venom.

    7. Helium “Hole in The Ground”

    Originally from the A-Side of a 1993 Matador 7-inch. First available on CD in 1997 on the All Over Me soundtrack. Released on Ends With And in 2017.

    6. Prince “We Can Fuck”

    Previously available on bootlegs. Released on Purple Rain Deluxe (Expanded Edition) in 2017.
    Unavailable for free streaming.

    5. Sheer Mag “What You Want”
    Originally from a 2014 self-titled EP.

    4. Autumn “Kill My World”
    Originally from 1971's Comes Autumn.

    3. Hüsker Dü “Do You Remember?”
    From Savage Young Dü.

    2. Can “Turtles Have Short Legs”

    Originally from the A-Side of a German 7-inch from 1971. First available on CD in 1992 on Cannibalism 2 (Germany only). Sampled in the Playstation game Parappa The Rapper in 1997. Released outside of Europe for the first time on The Singles comp in 2017.

    1. Isaac Hayes “Stormy Monday (Live)”

    From The Spirit of Memphis (1962-1976).

    Saturday, January 13, 2018

    It's MTVZ's Top 100 Of 2017 Video Countdown

    Countin' em down-- All the way down-- from 100 all the way to the number 1 video of the year:
    It's MTVZ's Top 100 Video Count-Down of 2017.

    Hello and welcome to MTVZ's Top 100 of 2017 video countdown. The playlist below includes the 100 greatest music videos of the year as chosen by the staff of MTVZ and this here blog.

    The abbreviation MTVZ stands for My Tasty VidZ. The channel started because we wanted to pretend that MTV and MTV2 were no longer abysmal. Back when MTV was ok, they would typically celebrate the new year with a countdown of their top 100 videos of the year on New Years Eve with an encore presentation on New Years Day. The videos here do not represent TMK's best videos of the year; those were already posted over the past week. And this list does not represent our official best songs of the year, which will be posted when Fire Mix 2017 gets posted (probably over the next 2 weeks).

    We're trying this out as an experiment hypothetically considering what MTV might have chosen if they still cared about literally anything (besides pressure from investors), strongly filtering out most of what we personally tag as "bullshit music." (Ed Sheeran is notably absent. Paramore placed strongly because they're a very popular band among our friends and are not egregiously awful, but they will likely not appear on Fire Mix 2017. "Africa" by Toto places at #12 despite that it's a video from 1983.) The selection process is too bizarre and boring and complicated to quickly explain.

    Also, this will function as MTVZ's official playlist for January 2018 (even though more than half of this playlist appears in previous editions of MTVZ).

    Note: MTVZ playlists tend to front-load, and so the videos are shown in ascending order as opposed to counting down.

    MTVZ’s Top 100 Of 2017 Video Countdown

    100. BEAK “(Merry Xmas) Face The Future”
    99. Nicki Minaj, Drake & Lil Wayne “Fake Love”
    98. Julia Michaels “Uh Huh”
    97. Weezer “Mexican Fender”
    96. Great Grandpa “No”
    95. Mariah Carey f/ YG “I Don’t”
    94. God Damn “I’ll Bury You”
    93. Thundercat f/ Michael Macdonald & Kenny Loggins “Show You The Way”
    92. Nelly Furtado “Pipe Dreams”
    91. The New Pornographers “High Ticket Attractions”
    90. Snoop Dogg f/ Redman, Method Man & B-Real “Mount Kushmore”
    89. Mura Masa & Charli XCX “1 Night”
    88. Action Bronson “Let Me Breathe”
    87. Alvvays “In Undertow”
    86. Weaves “Walkaway”
    85. Bully “Feel The Same”
    84. Poppy “Bleach Blonde Baby”
    83. Flying Lotus “Post Requisite”
    82. Lindsey Buckingham & Christine McVie “In My World”
    81. Moon Duo “Cold Fear / Lost In Light”
    80. Potty Mouth “Twisted”
    79. Jaden Smith “Batman”
    78. Rae Sremmurd “Perplexing Pegasus”
    77. Palberta “Filling Empty / Jaws”
    76. Uncle Acid and the Deadbeats “Crystal Spiders”
    75. Future “Mask Off”
    74. Now Now “Yours”
    73. Charly Bliss “Black Hole”
    72. EXPANDER "Mechanized Deathcanal"
    71. Miguel “Now”
    70. Lil Yachty “Shoot Out The Roof”
    69. BADBADNOTGOOD “Fall In Love”
    68. Sevyn Streeter “Before I Do”
    67. Satyricon “To Your Brethren In The Dark”
    66. Leikeli47 “Miss Me”
    65. Charlotte Gainsbourg “Deadly Valentine”
    64. Strange Relations “Very White Teeth”
    63. Kehlani “Distraction”
    62. Run The Jewels f/ Gangsta Boo “Love Again”
    61. Maren Morris “’80s Mercedes”
    60. Aminé "REDMERCEDES"
    59. Young Thug "Homie"
    58. Cloakroom “Seedless Star”
    57. Kelela “LMK”
    56. The Saxophones “If You’re On The Water”
    55. Rico Nasty “Block List”
    54. Jay-Z “Moonlight”
    53. Miguel “Told You So”
    52. Paramore “Told You So”
    51. Power Trip “Executioner’s Tax”
    50. Cardi B “Bodak Yellow (Money Moves)”
    49. Rae Sremmurd “Swang”
    48. Yo Gotti f/ Nicki Minaj “Rake It Up”
    47. Melkbelly “Off The Lot”
    46. Bruno Mars “That’s What I Like”
    45. Maren Morris “I Could Use A Love Song”
    44. Jorja Smith “On My Mind”
    43. The Weeknd f/ Daft Punk “I Feel It Coming”
    42. Aye Nako “Nightcrawler”
    41. Lil Pump "Gucci Gang"
    40. Protomartyr “A Private Understanding”
    39. Dua Lipa f/ Miguel “Lost In Your Light”
    38. Priests “Pink White House”
    37. LOONA / ODD EYE CIRCLE “Girl Front”
    36. Metz “Drained Lake”
    35. Lil Yachty “Lady In Yellow”
    34. Bruno Mars “24K Magic”
    33. Pile “Texas”
    32. Migos “T-Shirt”
    31. New Found Glory “The Sound Of Two Voices”
    30. Childish Gambino “Redbone”
    29. Horisont “Electrical”
    28. Big Thief “Mythological Beauty”
    27. Danny Brown "Ain't It Funny"
    26. Charli XCX “Boys”
    25. Rihanna “Love On The Brain”
    24. Kendrick Lamar “HUMBLE.”
    23. Bjork “Arisen My Senses”
    22. Mahmundi “Imagem”
    21. Sheer Mag “Suffer Me”
    20. Nnamdi Ogbonnaya “let gO Of my egO”
    19. N.E.R.D. f/ Rihanna “Lemon”
    18. Otoboke Beaver “Love Is Short”
    17. PRETTYMUCH f/ French Montana “No More”
    16. Code Orange “Bleeding In The Blur”
    15. Selena Gomez “Bad Liar”
    14. Winter “Jaded”
    13. Lil Uzi Vert “XO Tour Llif3”
    12. Toto “Africa”
    11. Lil Yachty “Bring It Back”
    10. Charly Bliss “Westermarck”
    9. Lil Peep f/ Lil Tracy “Awful Things”
    8. Kendrick Lamar f/ Rihanna “LOYALTY.”
    7. N.E.R.D. f/ Future “1000”
    6. (Sandy) Alex G “Bobby”
    5. Electric Wizard “See You In Hell”
    4. Young Thug “Wyclef Jean”
    3. Paramore “Hard Times”
    2. Migos “Bad and Boujee”
    1. Kendrick Lamar “DNA”

    Vids Are Alright 2017: The Big Big Big List

    Things are looking up.

    TOP 10:
    #10: BEAK “(Merry Xmas) Face The Future”
    #9: Run The Jewels f/ Gangsta Boo "Love Again"
    #8: Jaden Smith “Batman”
    #7: Snoop Dogg f/ Redman, Method Man & B-Real “Mount Kushmore”
    #6: EXPANDER "Mechanized Deathcanal"
    #5: Danny Brown "Ain't It Funny" / Jay-Z “Moonlight”
    #4: (Sandy) Alex G “Bobby”
    #3: Lil Yachty “Bring It Back” / Lil Yachty “Lady In Yellow”
    #2: N.E.R.D. f/ Future “1000”
    #1: Young Thug “Wyclef Jean”

    Honorable Mentions:
    (HM): Young Thug & Carnage: Young Martha f/ Meek Mill "Homie"
    (HM): Aminé "REDMERCEDES"

    (Bonus): Lil Pump "Gucci Gang"
    (Bonus): Rae Sremmurd “Swang”
    (Bonus): Kendrick Lamar f/ Rihanna “LOYALTY.”
    (Bonus): Selena Gomez “Bad Liar”
    (Bonus): Kevin Gates "2 Phones" (2015)
    (Bonus): OG Maco "12 Bricks" (2015)

    4 More For Fun:
    Priests “Pink White House”
    Ariel Pink "Another Weekend"
    Hellrazor "Ants vs Dragons"
    The Saxophones “If You’re On The Water”

    Friday, January 12, 2018

    Vids Are Alright 2017 #1: Young Thug “Wyclef Jean”

    When Thrillist placed "Wyclef Jean" at #5 on their Top 50 Music Videos of 2017, the bloggers theorized that Young Thug's physical presence would have made this a "relatively forgettable" video. This assumption is largely incorrect. The video was already on its way to becoming something special since either version would have included 7-year-old cops and bikini babes smashing cop cars with bats in slow motion. Either version may have included Thugger's 13-second cameo, most of which is spent lip syncing while scarfing a bag of Cheetos. "The inherent chaos of celebrity life" was likely not itemized within the video's $100,000 budget, but its ensuing text narration propels it from great to GOAT. This is among the top 5 music videos of the 2010s.

    Thursday, January 11, 2018

    Vids Are Alright 2017 #2: N.E.R.D. f/ Future “1000”

    Hopes are up for one more 3rd and final N*E*R*D video with Mette Towley mostly because we perceive "1000" as the apex of a trilogy - a rare example of a sequel that surpasses its Part One. If our suspicions prove correct, N*E*R*D can boast a spot among the all time classic video trilogies alongside GNR's Illusions trilogy with Stephanie Seymour and Aerosmith's Get A Grip clips with Alicia Silverstone. ("Lemon" premiered on Wednesday, Nov 1st while "1000" dropped exactly 5 weeks later. Yesterday, Wednesday Jan 10th, was exactly 5 weeks since "1000" and 10 weeks since "Lemon," so it would have been the best time to premiere this hypothetical Part Three. Keep hope alive.) We're also not typically fans of abrupt song disruption, but we'll make an exception for Mike Tyson.

    Vids Are Alright 2017 #3: Lil Yachty “Bring It Back” / Lil Yachty “Lady In Yellow”

    If this keeps up, the kid's gonna have to change his name to Busy Boat Boy:

    Lil Yachty's 2017 Videography
    Jan 6 "Shoot Out The Roof"
    Feb 17 "It Takes Two" (w/ CRJ)
    Apr 7 "iSpy" (w/ KYLE)
    Apr 14 "Peek A Boo"
    May 4 "Bring It Back"
    May 5 "From the D to the A" (w/ Tee Grizzley)
    June 7 "Hip Hopper" (w/ Blac Youngsta)
    June 23 "Dirty Mouth"
    Aug 2 "Marmalade" (w/ Macklemore)
    Aug 4 "Forever Young"
    Sept 14 "Better"
    Sept 27 "Lady In Yellow"
    Oct 5 "On Me"
    Oct 23 "Faking It" (w/ Kehlani & Calvin Harris)
    Dec 19 "Ice Tray" (w/ Quavo)

    Well damn, that is a lot of videos.

    The nature of Lil Yachty's post-trap diversions seem to require the unexpectedly bizarre and almost psychedelic visual choices in "Bring It Back" and "Lady In Yellow." The former partially borrows from Wedding Singer nostalgia but includes distinctly 2010s absurdity including a sequence where he walks on and steps into plates of cake and Jell-o. A girl uses her cupped hand to scoop up a serving of whipped cream surprise. Yachty mugs for the camera. In the dream-like "Lady In Yellow," he appears in a kitchen full of condiments within its final few seconds, waking up abruptly after a girl reacts to something from off-camera that is never shown.

    Vids Are Alright 2017 #4: (Sandy) Alex G “Bobby”

    Narrative is dead. Or is it? The non-linear elements in "Bobby" comprise of mixed visual media including marionettes and animation loops. Vans are driven; bikes are ridden. The Alex G band performs with a new front person who seems so immersed in the music that he forgets to sing anything. It's a specific and enchanting combination recalling the short lived Jancee Dunn / Chris Booker era of 120 Minutes or something MTV2 would have rotated heavily between 1998-1999.

    Tuesday, January 9, 2018

    Vids Are Alright 2017 #5: Danny Brown "Ain't It Funny" / Jay-Z “Moonlight”

    The "purposely bad 3-minute sitcom" trope has run its course. These two examples are noteworthy for other reasons: "Ain't It Funny" begins with a logo from a phony Christian TV channel, which does not make any sense at all compared to the content of the hypothetical show. They got Gus Van Zant to act as the dad for some reason. But it's the griminess of the song that really sets the juxtaposition in motion. More of a short film than a music video, "Moonlight" frustratingly neglects to prioritize the song that it's supposed to be promoting. However, a shot-for-shot remake of Friends' title sequence blatantly illuminates the original version's nerdiness and embarrassing whiteness. And we kinda think Friends is the fucking worst, so thank you to all responsible parties.

    Vids Are Alright 2017 #6: EXPANDER "Mechanized Deathcanal"

    Metal videos in the 2010s typically look best when horrendously low budget and chock full of terrible ideas. The condensation from the trunk of Expander's car is really just the natural heat emitting from their brutality. Apparently, they hold their band practices inside of the trunk of a sedan. This is a really bad video.

    Vids Are Alright 2017 #7: Snoop Dogg f/ Redman, Method Man & B-Real “Mount Kushmore”

    Indulging self-caricature, Mr. Doggy Dogg closed his funniest year yet with the auto-tune extravaganza Make America Crip Again and oversaw a minor summer triumph with "Mount Kushmore," starring the Forefathers of Kush in appropriately minimal, cheaply-produced anime/Boondocks-style action. We tried to read their lips, but it just said "meap meap meap."

    Monday, January 8, 2018

    Vids Are Alright 2017 #8: Jaden Smith “Batman”

    "Batman" is a story about waking up to a beautiful pink/purple skyline that just happens to include Jaden Smith's own personal Bat Signal. When the world needs a hero, Jaden knows what he must do. He is that hero. He is Batman.

    Let's give credit where it's due:
    #1 The keyboard hook is pretty damn catchy.
    #2 Whoever shot this knows their cinematography well enough to have captured some decently gorgeous skyline shots.
    #3 We'll give some benefit of doubt here: Jaden might be the world's biggest fan of Drake & Future's "Jumpman," but the song was also sampled and lifted hundreds of other times - not only on mixtapes like Lil B's Thugged Out Pissed Off but on critically acclaimed records like Kanye West's The Life Of Pablo - so at least he's in good company.

    Vids Are Alright 2017 #9: Run The Jewels f/ Gangsta Boo "Love Again"

    If bees are going to be the special guest stars of your band's new video, odds are pretty much 100% perfect that we will reserve space for them in our top 10 of the year. They actually figured out a way to get bees to twerk to the beat. Giant A+.

    Vids Are Alright 2017 #10: BEAK “(Merry Xmas) Face The Future”

    BEAK, also known as Beak>, also known as best band of the 2010s. We need a new Beak album already, but at least both of their 2017 singles were lit. No clue what the lyrics are, so we're not sure exactly how the song relates to the holidays, but the video is definitely more specific to Xmas 2017 than any previous year. December 2018 will be the year when Secret Santa is replaced by everyone in the office receiving permission to burn a Xmas tree over their cubicle. Who knew Putin and Kim Jong Un were such wonderful dancers?

    Vids Are Alright 2017 (HM): Aminé "REDMERCEDES"

    Damn, these dudes look really fucking scary. The social commentary strengthens simply because the song itself is a party banger about riding in sports cars. Definitely 100x more enjoyable than White Chicks.

    Vids Are Alright 2017 (HM): Young Thug & Carnage: Young Martha f/ Meek Mill "Homie"

    HM stands for "Honorable Mention." Not to be confused with which is the website for H&M.

    "Homie" is one of those like "Virtual Insanity" where it's tough to tell if the room is moving along with the camera. We prefer the mystery of not knowing how they did it. Any other video with close-ups of freshly scarfed meat trays would typical gross us out to the point of disqualification based on principle. It's a weed video though. Creative as hell and mad disorienting.

    Vids Are Alright 2017: The Big Bad Bonus Vids

    Not all vids can make it into the 10 best vids of the year.

    But they are good enough for the bonus. Let's see what we got.

    Lil Pump "Gucci Gang"
    At California High School, Lil Pump sips purp slurpees for breakfast and brings his giant pet tiger to school for protection against any kids who try to steal his plastic 5-pound bags full of marijuana buds. The lunch lady approves of Lil Pump's lifestyle and indulges in purp between classes. Hiphop won this year. Deal with it. Learn from our mistakes and move on.

    Rae Sremmurd “Swang”
    Actual Golf Wang. Similar to the lunch lady moment from Lil Pump's video, "Swang" shows Rae Sremmurd helping out a couple sweet old lady golfers with their cataracts. VHS camcorders, video within a video, fresh golf polos, Titlist hats, keg stands. Indie-rock video directors: Take notes.

    Kendrick Lamar f/ Rihanna “LOYALTY.”
    Rihanna thinks everything is just so fucking hilarious. It's funny when Kendrick Lamar gets his ass kicked, laughing her ass off as she sinks into literal quicksand or while dangling from 50 stories high. Nothing brings the lulz for Rihanna like a good old fashioned head-on collision complete with shattered glass and blood flying everywhere. MDMA and chronic are a wild combination. Kendrick smokes a very big cigar.

    Selena Gomez “Bad Liar”
    2017 was a year with lots of great music but few "future GOATs." There was no "Super Bass" or "Black Beatles" or "Call Me Maybe." No consensus jams. And when that happens, end-of-year-list season gets weirder.

    In a different year, a single like "Bad Liar" (apparently the year's 6th most critically revered pop hit) would most indubitably have a "future GOAT" status secured. But 2017 was not a normal year. We don't really "get" "Bad Liar" as a critical blockbuster, but it's an ok enough song and we dug the video right away. For a moment, we were convinced that the "high school" Selena was a 12-year-old doppleganger.

    Kevin Gates "2 Phones"
    OG Maco "12 Bricks"
    In the chorus of "2 Phones," Kevin Gates declares "I got two phones." A shocking moment follows at the 0:38 mark when a close-up reveals that Kevin actually owns not two, but four phones, outing Kevin Gates as an unreliable narrator. The fan video for "12 Bricks" should have been the real video for OG Maco's song in which two friends discover 12 masonry bricks laying on the side of the road and cannot believe their good fortune. (Note: Both of these songs and videos are from 2015 but we are old and didn't know about them until recently which is why they are bonus.)

    "The Vids Are Alright 2017" Starts Now

    It's been quite a year for record-smashing video streams.

    Remember July 10th? That was the day Youtube history was made once again when Wiz Khalifa's "See You Again" (from the soundtrack of the Dwayne Johnson / Vin Diesel vehicle Furious 7) dethroned 2012's long reigning big budget video for "Gangnam Style" by PSY to become the most popular Youtube clip of all time.

    Luis Fonsi's "Despacito" broke Mr. Khalifa's record a mere 25 days later on August 4th. Since its premiere on 1/12/17, "Despacito" has nearly surpassed 5 billion streams, a checkpoint it will reach by Spring 2018.

    Youtube has a boner for its own record breaking distinctions, not incomparable to Hollywood's blockbuster business model: The top 10 highest grossing movies of all time still include 4 movies from 2015. The top 15 include 4 movies from 2017, and 18 of the top 20 were released in the past decade. "Breaking the world record" is now a business model for moving visual art. It won't be long until it spreads to TV, Netflix, Hulu and the like.

    As capitalism continued its growing influence on both music exposure and video, hiphop was chosen by the people as the music streaming world's most popular genre of 2017. Unsurprisingly, the year's most engaging visual concepts found their way into more hiphop videos than in any other calendar year in the the genre's history. (No disrespect to Hype Williams or Paul Hunter, but this is probably true.) Comparatively, videos in almost every other genre seemed less inspired than ever. Perhaps disinterest has grown from newfound lack of marketability. Why put so much effort into creating an interesting or weird or stimulating video that no one will ever see?

    2017 was a year when the creators of this blog decided to run our own music video channel on Youtube. We were probably on the hunt for dope music videos more persistently in 2017 than any of the past 10 years. The hunt exposed us to a lot of really good rap clips, while the best videos from the world of rock, metal, weirdo, experimental, pop or R&B simply didn't want us to find them. We know they're out there somewhere, and they often cross our path after the year's end. But from where we stand now, hiphop singles and especially hiphop videos kicked more serious ass than any other genre.

    It will be more obvious once we get into the top 10. For now, check these out...

    Priests “Pink White House”
    Priests directed their own damn punk rock video just the way they like it. The band encounter themselves. One of them plays a swamp thing, and there's a food fight. All money shots with no anticipation: the way rock videos should be. This technically debuted late-2016 or else it might have placed Top 10.

    Ariel Pink "Another Weekend"
    "Concept by Eric Andre" caught our attention. A fun story of what happens to Ariel Pink throughout a typical weekend, it fits with the trippiness of his more psychedelic clips like "Mistaken Wedding."

    Hellrazor "Ants vs Dragons"
    Whoops, how did this get here?

    The Saxophones “If You’re On The Water”
    Four new fan clips from Alejandro Taruth were posted in 2017. Song selection seems to be moving farther away from Rubber Soul-core (bands like Homeshake, Mild High Club and Good Morning), nearer to folk/make-out jams from bands like Cigarettes After Sex, and more closely following the narrative of the original films instead of a less faithful re-purposing of images.

    Sunday, January 7, 2018

    It's Almost Time To Get Lit

    Retro 2017 celebration starts Sunday or Monday (probably). It's basically going to be like one of those episodes of VH1's I Love The '80s if they made one for 2017. Like Robocop. Remember that shit? Crazy times.

    (P.S. Way back in December 2016, we accurately predicted that 2017 would be worse than 2016. We hated 2017 before it was cool.)

    Lit Mix 2017 was more difficult to compile than any of the past 5 years.
    Rock and metal improved from last year.
    Hiphop albums and pop singles were lacking.
    R&B was equally as strong.
    Not sure if these factors made any difference.

    First up is the best videos of the year. Stay with us......