The One-Hit-Wonders Debate

While we were digging our car out of the snow, we listened to most of Part 1 of Slate Culture's Exploration of One Hit Wonders which provides the "chart-nerd's perspective" on whether an artist/song combination should get forever widely branded with this tag.

You can listen through if you want, but we immediately noticed a few flaws that were not taken into account.

The podcast primarily focuses on VH1's 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders special from 2002 hosted by William Shatner, which occurred right around the time VH1 gave up on playing "Top 100" specials that aired videos, pivoting to a series of 2-minute documentary-style Behind the Music segments. We determined at some point in the mid-00s that VH1 did not use methodology based on numbers or chart positions for any of their "100 Greatest" specials, but instead they typically opted to determine its then-current placement in the pop culture canon.

The host of the podcast doesn't seem to understand this. VH1 is not Billboard. So in pretty much every instance, "pop culture" was used to determine these placements -- not numbers.

We vividly recall having initial problems with the VH1 series as well. When they aired their "100 Greatest Hits Of The '90s" or whatever it was called, they egregiously excluded "Gangsta's Paradise" and "November Rain" -- two songs which were both crowned MTV's #1 video of the year on the New Years Eve of their respective video years. So yeah, we get it. This was the same era of VH1-revisionism that endlessly tried to convince the world that the dancing baby gif from Ally McBeal was something that literally anyone cared about at any point during the '90s.

Our definition of a true, pure one-hit-wonder is a song/artist combination that is inseperable, where an artist is pretty much only remembered for their signature song -- a phenomenon that was a lot more common in the '50s, '60s and '70 than in the subsequent decades. But VH1 didn't really reach back that far into history because their target demo was Gen X Millennial cusps. So most of the show was '80s and '90s singles.

A pure one-hit-wonder has virtually no substantial chart history outside of one song. So this means that one must examine not only the Hot 100, but the other charts as well -- including album charts and placements outside of the United States.

The Slate podcast and VH1 agree that Faith No More's "Epic" is a one-hit-wonder, but their fanbase loves the albums Angel Dust and Album Of The Year, which both charted really well upon their releases. So this means Faith No More is not a one hit wonder.

Biz Markie may have charted only once with "Just A Friend," but he's also respected among the greats of hiphop's golden era. And if you wanna get technical about it, he has an uncredited singing cameo on Jay-Z's "Girls Girls Girls" from 2001 which reached #17. Biz Markie is not a "Whoomp There It Is."

Gary Numan's "Cars" should only count as a one-hit-wonder if you ignore any other countries outside of United States. The podcast host called "Are Friends Electric" a flop. It was released after "Cars" hit #1 but only reached as high as #105. But the host neglects to mention that it was a #1 hit in the UK for four weeks. Xenophobic much?

Vanilla Ice is probably a good example of a one-hit-wonder that we would grant despite our vivid memories of hearing "Play That Funky Music" and "Satisfaction" on our local Top 40 station. (We have a cassette of KC101 from Summer 1990 where they play both of these songs.) We know he had other charting hits, but no one remembers those songs. Yes, we remember them. And we know the numbers prove that Vanilla was not technically one-hit. But he is. He just is. Because fuck you, that's why.

The title of the podcast episode is literally "One And Done," which means these acts have no history beyond one song. So yeah, Los Del Rio and Right Said Fred are great examples obviously. But Gary Numan never stopped touring. Faith No More had dates scheduled as recently as last year. You can't call legacy/longevity acts "One and Done." Lou Reed is not a one-hit artist. You can't just look at one chart from right after a single's peak in popularity and make an assessment based on this one factor.

It's possible this nuance is explored in the "Part Two" section of the podcast, but we realized our clutch broke again during the snowstorm and now we have to figure out how we're going to find the money to get this paid for. So yea, we're done here.