They Shoulda Called It "The Why Album" Reissue

Every fanatic of every long dead band would always rather have a fresh album of unreleased songs than 70 bonus demos. This is a scientifically proven fact.

The Anthology series already fulfilled the "demo" requisite, but despite that, it wasn't hard to predict that The White Album reissue would fall short of expectations. The world does not need more demos, especially when there is an entire album worth of interesting shit that could have easily filled up a single 55-60 minute disc of music.

But what's worse: If they must insist on filling this collection with endless bullshit, couldn't they at least include the holy grail of White Album outtakes?

The greatest White Album outtake that exists is the 10-minute version of "Revolution" that acts as the official conduit between the radio version (from the b-side of "Hey Jude") and "Revolution 9." This version mysteriously arrived on Soundcloud in 2009 and was yanked from Youtube in 2013 after appearing in a Rolling Stone headline. Many would assumed that if "Apple Corps" wanted this song kept off the internet, they must have considered it valuable enough to include on a "definitive" collection of outtakes. But sadly, this was not the case.

And why was the 17-minute "Carnival of Light" excluded from the Sgt Pepper reissue?

And why haven't any of their weirdo fanclub-only Christmas collages been released?

Why are they so afraid to get weird? Beatles fans are willing to spend money on literally any official product. It doesn't matter what the fuck it is. So one would think they might as well try to make it a little more interesting than this. Instead, we get another clone of the Anthology series. It's been 50 years. This will never happen within our lifetime. The dream is over.

A year or 2 ago, we attempted a hypothetical "What If" album titled EMI India. The record could have feasibly existed if the songs from late 1967 hadn't been spread across Side 2 of Magical Mystery Tour and the Yellow Submarine soundtrack, and if they had chosen to package The White Album as a single LP instead of a double.

This imaginary album is their most psychedelic, as it includes a half dozen songs that stretch past the 6-minute mark: "It's All Too Much," "What's The New Mary Jane," "Revolution 9," "Hey Jude," and the only inclusion from the recent White Album reissue, the 13-minute version of "Helter Skelter." And if the option were available, it would have certainly included the 10-minute "Revolution."