Friday, October 5, 2012

celeb jep 96 69

yo did you know 96 is inverted 69 wtf funny or die has the worst embed code fuck dem g's

We got some prolems. Norm MacDonald wrote the 1st celebrity jeopardy sketch in 1996, but then later after the sketch became "recurring" and other writers seized the brand, they did the joke where Connery says "I'll take THE RAPISTS for $200" and the category is actually "THERAPISTS" and that was straight-up stolen from Benny Hill. Benny did a sketch once where he went up to some dude's door and it say "Therapist" and he separated the nametag so that it said "The rapist," and then he mugs for the camera and the audience is all like "lmao."

If we ever get to speak to Norm MacDonald we will ask him about this because we know Norm would never stoop to intentionally stealing a Benny Hill joke. Maybe it's just one of those obvious-ass jokes.

Guess what else was in 1996? (_|_) (ass)

#91 Brainiac "Hot Seat Can't Sit Down"

"Welcome to earth." - Brainiac after punching aliens in the face in Independence Day

#90 The Presidents Of The United States Of America "Mach 5"

Apparently the brownies from the craft services table were "irresistible" during the video shoot for "Mach 5." Also POTUSA is the ultimate "3rd grade kids screaming and running around during birthday party" band. If you are a parent and your child is 9, you should buy them one of the first two POTUSA CD's. This is what good parenting is all about.

#89 The Pharcyde "Runnin'"

"It's 1995." The singles for this album were all released in '96, but we'll forgive them. "As if."

#88 Ween "You Were The Fool"

The best song from 12 Golden Country Greats still might not be able to eclipse its best moment, which is the Mohammad Ali speech that they were forced to have removed from "Powder Blue." Although "You Were The Fool" is still A+.

#87 Guided By Voices "Official Ironmen Rally Song"

Bob wrote this one while he was drunk. The feeling is mutual.

#86 The Swirlies "In Harmony New Found Freedom"


#85 Soundgarden "Rhinosaur"

"kinda hot in these rhinos" - matt cameron

#84 Eyehategod "Masters of Legalized Confusion"

'96 was immediately pre-"post-junkie chic" which launched in '97... so like fiona apple was cool in '96 cos she looked like she was on heroin, and then in '98 natalie imbruglia was cool cos she looked like she was going through withdrawal

#83 Local H "I Saw What You Did And I Know Who You Are"

Scott Lucas appears to have figured out how to play simultaneous distinct separate guitar and bass parts for this song.

#82 Pavement "Give It A Day"

Seems to be a fan favorite. It's aight.

#81 Tool "├ćnema"

Learn ta swim. They used to play this on some "adult" oriented MTV video-block that aired daily between midnight and 12:30 circa May/June 1997, which seemed to exist solely for anyone who really enjoyed JO'ing to Fiona Apple every single night at 12:10AM.

#80 Smashing Pumpkins "Pennies"

"Spoken like a true asshole." - Chubbs from Happy Gilmour to Billy Corgan

#79 John Parish and Polly Jean Harvey "That Was My Veil"

Luv you PJ

#78 Pearl Jam "Smile"

"duuuh i dun like perl jam duhhh im a big dumass duhh" Fuck y'all. Grow up. Even as a pack of punk teen retards, we could tell this was obviously jacked from Neil Young. "I miss you already." Why wasn't this song huge? Still rules.

#77 Fountains Of Wayne "Sink To The Bottom"

Since we've already exhausted the SNL category, we might as well mention the "Bill Brasky was a son of a bitch" sketch also debuted in 1996. They should make an entire 2 hour movie of this shit:

#76 DJ Shadow "What Does Your Soul Look Like (Part 4)"

Huge bass on this one. I wrote a paper about DJ Shadow freshman year of college and my teacher critiqued that he sounded "parasitic." Well yeah... That's the whole point.

#75 Rage Against The Machine "Down Rodeo"

Big ups to Tom Morello for figuring out how to make his guitar sound like a scratching turntable.

#74 Weezer "The Good Life"

"The Good Life" video showcases what we've previously described as "the world's most perfect rock band" and we wholeheartedly stand by this theory. In our humble opinions, tracks 5 through 9 on Pinkerton have some of the craziest and most dramatic bridge-sections ANYONE has yet attempted. The only reason why this isn't higher than #74 can mostly be attributed to the lyric "shakin' booty makin' sweet love all the night" which unfortunately appears in this song three times.

No comments:

Post a Comment