Thursday, October 18, 2012

tiny classified ads 1996

We probably knew that Don Lapre killed himself about 1 year ago. But we probably forgot. His infomercial lives on, some of which we still have memorized:

The following portion of "Sick Mix '96" has been funded by weekly checks, every single week.

#35 Charles Bronson "Let's Start A Revolution So I Can Go Break Some Shit"

It's the 3rd song on this. I'll show you what, youth. They only wanted to sing.

#34 Jay-Z "Dead Presidents"

Tragedy today, as former President Gerald Ford was eaten by wolves. He was delicious.

#33 Failure "Blank"

Downtune the high-E to a D and you're good to go.

#32 Stereolab "The Noise Of Carpet"

The noise of mark.

#31 Sloan "The Good In Everyone"

The intro of the video is as long as the song which has an intro longer than the "song" part of the song.

#30 Elliott Smith "Angeles"

16 months later, Elliott was opening for Celine Dion on live television. How do these things happen?

#29 Chavez "Flight '96"

Bottle rocket flight?

#28 Weezer "El Scorcho"

weerez (WEER-ez) n. A variation on the name of alternative rock band "weezer." Originally seen in the "El Scorcho" music video. "Dude, I totally got some pussy at the weerez concert."

#27 Nada Surf "Icebox"

Bury me in sorrow, Johnny Football-hero.

#26 Junior Mafia "Get Money"

Disrespect my click, my shit's imperial.

#25 Aphex Twin "Girl/Boy Song"

G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGggggggggggggg (these are some of the lyrics to "Girl/Boy Song"... or at least that's what we sang/screamed the first time we heard it)

#24 Beck "Where It's At"

That was a good drum break! We forgot how awesome this video is.

#23 764-Hero "Obviously Awful"

Obscure B-Side... hasn't made it onto Youtube just yet. (Fuck.) Here's the A-Side, which should've been in this list anyway. But it's no "Obviously Awful."

#22 Dr. Octagon "I'm Destructive"

Smearing green lightning bugs. Copulating having sex. Tickets for Van Halen.

#21 Smashing Pumpkins "Mouths Of Babes"

Video doesn't have the whole song. :( Perhaps unnecessary band-movie-novel connections will make up for this: In 1996, Fountains Of Wayne toured with Smashing Pumpkins, not long after contributing the song "That Thing You Do" to the movie of the same name, which Tom Hanks wrote and directed, who also acted with recently deceased actor Michael Clarke Duncan in The Green Mile which was a book originally written by Stephen King in 1996, which was the year Smashing Pumpkins released "Mouths Of Babes" on the Zero EP. Full circle.

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