Friday, October 12, 2012

springer 1996

The most recent Sifl & Olly refers to 1996 as the last time that "physically touching things" was acceptable. We would embed the vid here, but S&O is way too 1998-oriented. Not happening.

We used to watch Talk Soup every single day (5 days a week) throughout 1996. Notable show highlights include Sally Jesse Raphael's infamous "I don't need you punk for my ratings" speech, or anytime they would follow up a clip by saying "and here's some footage of what happened afterwards" and just show pictures of houses on fire and explosions. We can't find any of those but here is what the show was typically like on a Tuesday or Wednesday:

Time to read a little viewer mail!!! Heyhey, alright.. This week's letter reads "when will you finish this tedious 1996 bullshit??" and the answer is "now maybe." You wont BEILIEVE...

#56 Mortician "Embalmed Alive"

Making the most sense. This should be #1. We fucked up.

#55 Jamiroquai "Virtual Insanity"

Flank to hold any lack to brought

#54 Soundgarden "Pretty Noose"

Hey man if you guyw wan a tak about a mean ther's been a raid of stu gifs immediate at rush high order....

#53 Mobb Deep "GOD Part 3"

Mor stu

#52 Beck "Sissyneck"

Serious adulthood pickin up the slack. learn the good manners. say HI and GOODBYE or else it's rUDE JERK

#51 Tool "Stinkfist"

Board game miniatjure played for the first thirty seconds but they got shoe'd away. I was offer dangerous cars and van dragonsit gets worse when you let them know the have your information. it'w supposed to be tuckd away and hidden to keep away undesirables from getting to it.

#50 Unwound "Corpse Pose"

Cost was lost. Something turned into the weather pagse and think i fell asleep. yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

#49 Jay-Z featuring Foxy Brown "Ain't No N****"

Jay-Z holds the blue fountain drink cops while Foxy is the boss who keeps showing up with more crazy capers for them all new adventures. He says right in the song "diamonds and leather."

#48 Fiona Apple "Shadowboxer"

office video game it's barely have ot try mode. might wannaw try out

#47 Elliott Smith "Speed Trials"

draggon draggin' sweet pinball off to his new man-cave. Dats the boy.

#46 Stereolab "Spark Plug"

"With the giant quack, and i still have to do the dishes?"

#45 Wilco "Misunderstood"

Ariel is setting up her new daycare center, checking thing out makin sure everything's in order before the first momet they arrive. and in the middle of settng up and cleaning the loud part of this sound jumps from no where. The fucking line keeps moving too but him him.

#44 Stone Temple Pilots "Big Bang Baby"

deadpan goofiness is so hard to find thse days. Like the star shows up and it's the for guys and they're just like "hey man, whatever, Brady Bunch love" and shattering glasses onto gorilla helmets. Good 90's vid.

#43 DJ Shadow "Stem/Long Stem"

"Stem (Cops and Robbers Mix)" is cool but GIANT SPOILER WARNING to those who haven't seen Heat yet. P.S. You should see Heat (1995).

#42 Fountains Of Wayne "Radiation Vibe"

Receive quarters in the dark. Dark quarters. It got brought AAH.

#41 OutKast "ATLiens"

"Let me see them titties." She said "ok."

#40 Weezer "Across The Sea"

The Rolling Stone myth never happened. RS readers were asked "What was the worst album of 1996?" and the album that got the second highest votes was the same record as "words and dreams and a million screams." No one is able to present tangible evidence of this, and so it never happened. Go back to bed.

#39 Beck "Devil's Haircut"

Springer punched out that dude in one epiode. Not the one where he says "You shut your face" though:

#38 Underworld "Born Slippy"

Ya wee cunts, Rent Boy and Spud, can't believe ya made it thisfar. Such a perfecty day feed animals at the zoo.

#37 Olivia Tremor Control "Can You Come Down With Us"

Stand next to Jean Luc-Picard, pretend that you are in Deep Spade Nine.

#36 DJ Shadow "The Number Song"

More big bass. The middle-section is when the master of ceremonies arrives wearing his big cape that he holds up the whole time while the audience goes nuts.

No energy to complete this ugly bitch but it will get done.

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