90's Guilty Pleasures #39: M.C. Hammer "U Can't Touch This" (1990)

Before jumping into this one, we just wanted to clarity that Vanilla Ice will NOT be appearing on this list. For those who enjoy 90's pop culture, there are 2 types: Those who prefer Hammer, and those who prefer Vanilla. And there IS a correct choice between these 2. Here's what Outkast had to say: "Run up on Hammer if you want to. Hammer will beat your mothafuckin' ass." You will never hear anyone respectable in hiphop with anything positive to say about Vanilla Ice EVER and that is a scientific fact.

I shouldn't really need to explain the guilt or the pleasure regarding "U Can't Touch This." As far as I can tell, it's his only really great song... and it was strong enough to help his album sell 10 million copies... on the basis of ONE SONG, a true phenomenon that we may never see again as a result of the convenience of mp3 downloads (legal or otherwise).

And then of course, there's this...



The song is corny as shit and has a beat that you truly can't touch (honestly, who can touch "Superfreak?"), and he dances like a madman. The 90's would have been very different without "U Can't Touch This." It's the one song that needed to explode right at the beginning of 1990 in order for the remainder of the decade to correctly align itself. Hammer wins.