Sunday, October 28, 2012

cab driver 1996 (top 20)

We actually enjoy a lot of these movies. Thanks S&E:

sooooooooooooooo tapped out.

"It's like meeting the girl of your dreams and then finding out she's five."

#20 Weezer "Tired Of Sex"

This fuckin guy Rivers. He's just a regular Don Johnson, isn't he? Whippin' off the towel every chance he gets. Matt Sharp & Pat Wilson achieve murderous tendencies throughout the final minute of this.

#19 Spacehog "In The Meantime"

"All The Young Dude Kids" Not inspired by the movie Kids, although some of the kids from that movie hang out in video and all of them are now probably singin' a tune to the name of 20 million dollars worth of death because they're dead.

#18 Local H "Bound For The Floor"

Scott Lucas and Joe D did the hot/cold peekaboo game with us when we were learning division tables on flashcards n shit. We looked up over the table and there they were with 45/3 ready to jam it.

#17 Dr. Octagon "Blue Flowers"

Kool Keith cut my place in line for license plates at the DMV, but it's ok. Later on we got 5 name changes all at once.

#16 Ginuwine "Pony"

Ginuwine is in that classification where you wer.e. Ginuwine's world tour requires TWO tourbuses. One for Ginuwine and one for his infinite throbbing boner, all snug and pleasant and comfy. He gets to play with teddy's and sleek salamanders searching for whatever it is that turns him on. Timbaland's burp noise is actually Timbo's dick waking up the mourning. He's pissed off and needs his coffee. "Mourning wood" can't get this man down.

#15 Weezer "I Just Threw Out The Love Of My Dreams"

Glancing often, 12 or 14 times within an hour-long period. This means equals mad DTF but all parties involved are just straight-up cleva. No words exchnaged. Try again tomorrow when lots of discovery at Bradlee's can make it alright. David Bowie's Earthling. I mean, it was there, it was right in my hand. I totally wasnt expecting to steal it but they just made it to easy for me. And then the next day in class i placed in on her desk without telling anyone who put it there. Driving away sad. (Editor's note: This never happened.)

#14 Outkast "Elevators"

slidin' up and dow. baritone saxophone section's part sounds a little silly, i dunno, maybe i'm out of my league here. (Editor's note: there's no bari sax in this song lol.)

#13 Modest Mouse "Whenever You Breathe Out I Breathe In"

Been having some breathing problems attacked to anxiousness; it makes me breathe deep. i've been tld that someone breathing in will harken the youth back into my lung. Haven't see you aroud not going to bed until flash carsd.lllll

#12 Local H "High Fivin' MF"

Massive unmovable guitar riff. "Riff of the year" and arguably of the decade and don't let the man get you down otherwise with any of that claptrap which might suggest Page & Plant or Eric Clapton Unplugged which can both suck the eggs out of the roosters cow wing.

#11 Aaliyah "If Your Girl Only Knew"

Untainted and pure. It slipped our minds that princess Aaliyah was once married to a man who appears in this list who sang about "keepin in the down low," and apparently he didn't because everyone knew about it. 'If Your Girl" is an understanding and unheralded subdued Timbo banger. Don't mess with the best.

#10 Cannibal Corpse "Devoured By Vermin"

No fear for George Corpsegrinder. He just took right over, in charger after Chris Barnes found better luck in Sex Feet Under. This should have been #1 We fucked up. Top 10 isn't bad though..

#9 Ghostface Killah "Winter Warz"

Drivin' up with Dad. Cappadonna comes up and son starts wondering about the meaning of it all. Dad made a wrong turn and stopped short to turn around. No matter to him.

#8 Failure "Smoking Umbrellas"

Yes, Doorknob was glowing. I was there, I saw it. It as great.

#7 Beck "Jack-Ass"

Havin some trouble finding the Youtube video with Willie Nelson. It's one of our favorite videos, but unfortunately not included on Beck's account. "Lose ends tying a noose in the back of my mind."

#6 Weezer "Falling For You"

Moments in life sometimes can feel as extreme as this song suggests, those extremities are often soaked in hope and nervousness and uncertainty. Just about to start learning about someone who might be amazing and the enormity of that moment. "I'm shaking at your touch." God, that bridge, and the outro. Starting to doubt self-worth the instant she doesn't immediately respond to a text or email. It's the end of the fucking world.

#5 Mark Morrison "Return Of The Mack"

Optimism is large tonight. This dude's head is slightly enormous. The Mack is the guy who busts down the double-doors and walks into the bar like "yeah, fuck you," and he's the hypothetical awesomest guy ever, and nothing can bring this guy down, so don't even fucking try. The heartache is still persistent, and sometimes he requires a scream of "OH MY GOD."

#4 Radiohead "Exit Music (For A Film)"

This very obscure hidden gem plays during the credits after Leo and Claire Danes do themselves in. Months later it was thrown in the middle of some weird album that no one's ever heard. (This is not cheating. YOURE cheating.)

#3 Jay-Z and Notorious B.I.G. "Brooklyn's Finest"

"If Faye have twins, she'd probably have two Pacs. Get it? Tupac's?" Ignore the lame Scarface intro, obviously. By the time we're 45 seconds in, Jay and Big Smalls unlocked their first trade-off. This song had no ambition of receiving radio airplay but turned into a classic of the era anyway, despite the fecal-pants chorus inspiring a young Nicki Minaj 14 years later with "Did It On 'Em."

#2 Ghost Town DJ's "My Boo"

First time around: There's definitely something distinctively "classic 90's" about a song whose drums are encouraging grind-dancing, but whose innocent lyrics, playful keyboards, and simplistic vocal melody paint images of 7th graders dreaming about their crushes while they're supposed to be workin' on their studies. Two years later we like it even better. We're actually straight up bummed we considered it a guilty pleasure as opposed to a straight up 90s jam.

#1 Aaliyah "One In A Million"

The greatest jam of all time. What more can really be said about it? Her particular style of "teen-girl subtly hinting at promiscuity" predates everyone else, albeit much more tastefully than what followed. With this song, Missy & Timbo kicked off their trippy futuristic sci-fi party. "One In A Million" is a perfect jam for the stars...

Thursday, October 25, 2012

"The Shining" analysis

The documentary Room 237 has been making the rounds at festivals this month. Supposedly, it will be released commercially in Spring 2013. In the meantime, this 30-minute analysis offers some insight into American symbolism and "moon" related symbolism that we hadn't noticed before. (The guy who put this together thinks the moon landing was faked. Suspend your disbelief for a few minutes... In either case, it's interesting and creepy as hell.)

Monday, October 22, 2012

"your final setting sun"

We haven't seen this video yet. (For all we know it might suck.) But this song has been on repeat in our office since last night (not literally "on repeat," but def recommended).

sometimes, dead is better.

this is our new favorite guy on the show. we have no idea what his name is.

(Also "Marjorine" from 2005 is probably the best episode ever.)
So then we noticed the same guy finally returned two weeks ago after a long absence...

Thursday, October 18, 2012

tiny classified ads 1996

We probably knew that Don Lapre killed himself about 1 year ago. But we probably forgot. His infomercial lives on, some of which we still have memorized:

The following portion of "Sick Mix '96" has been funded by weekly checks, every single week.

#35 Charles Bronson "Let's Start A Revolution So I Can Go Break Some Shit"

It's the 3rd song on this. I'll show you what, youth. They only wanted to sing.

#34 Jay-Z "Dead Presidents"

Tragedy today, as former President Gerald Ford was eaten by wolves. He was delicious.

#33 Failure "Blank"

Downtune the high-E to a D and you're good to go.

#32 Stereolab "The Noise Of Carpet"

The noise of mark.

#31 Sloan "The Good In Everyone"

The intro of the video is as long as the song which has an intro longer than the "song" part of the song.

#30 Elliott Smith "Angeles"

16 months later, Elliott was opening for Celine Dion on live television. How do these things happen?

#29 Chavez "Flight '96"

Bottle rocket flight?

#28 Weezer "El Scorcho"

weerez (WEER-ez) n. A variation on the name of alternative rock band "weezer." Originally seen in the "El Scorcho" music video. "Dude, I totally got some pussy at the weerez concert."

#27 Nada Surf "Icebox"

Bury me in sorrow, Johnny Football-hero.

#26 Junior Mafia "Get Money"

Disrespect my click, my shit's imperial.

#25 Aphex Twin "Girl/Boy Song"

G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGggggggggggggg (these are some of the lyrics to "Girl/Boy Song"... or at least that's what we sang/screamed the first time we heard it)

#24 Beck "Where It's At"

That was a good drum break! We forgot how awesome this video is.

#23 764-Hero "Obviously Awful"

Obscure B-Side... hasn't made it onto Youtube just yet. (Fuck.) Here's the A-Side, which should've been in this list anyway. But it's no "Obviously Awful."

#22 Dr. Octagon "I'm Destructive"

Smearing green lightning bugs. Copulating having sex. Tickets for Van Halen.

#21 Smashing Pumpkins "Mouths Of Babes"

Video doesn't have the whole song. :( Perhaps unnecessary band-movie-novel connections will make up for this: In 1996, Fountains Of Wayne toured with Smashing Pumpkins, not long after contributing the song "That Thing You Do" to the movie of the same name, which Tom Hanks wrote and directed, who also acted with recently deceased actor Michael Clarke Duncan in The Green Mile which was a book originally written by Stephen King in 1996, which was the year Smashing Pumpkins released "Mouths Of Babes" on the Zero EP. Full circle.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

"Top 844 Songs From 1996" List So Far

We're upset with ourselves for letting this become a project. For anyone who was wondering, all of the commentary and most of the placements were impulsively determined during amnesia or while intoxicated (referring to literal amnesia, meaning waking up the next morning and seeing words and images with no memory).

35 songs remain... The top 5 or 6 is pretty much set at this point, so at least that part won't be a joke. OCD is the only reason this is getting completed. Otherwise, this is probably the biggest waste of time ever...

We will admit to a handful of these songs being downright horrendous... Tracy Chapman and Color Me Badd stand out specifically. Pist-On was pretty much included as a joke. The Spice Girls choice isn't anything earth-shattering, but was mostly included due to nostalgia. "Some Days Its Dark" by Death Lurks is technically not really a song, but rather more of a Kids In The Hall comedy skit.

Beyond those duds, the strength of this list overall is surprising, especially considering the upsurge of negative hindsight that "1996" specifically generates, which actually started before the 90's had even finished. (Eddie Bauer lol. Soul patches lol.) For the most part, any 50 randomly selected songs from this mostly arbitrary selection would outweigh the top 50 songs from any of the past 5 or 6 years. Which is remarkable, since technically we still haven't posted the very best of 1996 just yet.

Here's what the list looks like so far. Two more posts are coming, with (hopefully) one happening very soon...

233. Pist-On "Grey Flap"
232. R.Kelly "Down Low"
231. Local H "Fritz's Corner"
230. Ghostface Killah "Daytona 500"
229. Akinyele "Put In In Your Mouth"
228. Toni Braxton "You're Making Me High"
227. Death Lurks "Some Days It's Dark"
226. Tom Petty "Asshole"
225. Replicants "Destination Unknown"
224. 2Pac "I Ain't Mad at Cha"
223. Tracy Chapman "Give Me One Reason"
222. Marilyn Manson "The Beautiful People"
221. Tuscadero "Hollywood Handsome"
220. Spooky Ruben "Running Away"
219. Donna Lewis "I Love You Always Forever"
218. Toadies "Away"
217. Dr. Octagon "No Awareness"
216. Radiohead "Talk Show Host"

215. Satyricon "Mother North"
214. Mariah Carey "Always Be My Baby"
213. eels "Novacane For The Soul"
212. Republica "Ready To Go"
211. Jeru Tha Damaja "Ya Playin Ya'self"
210. Xzibit "Paparazzi"
209. Mogwai "Ithica 27-9"
208. Foo Fighters "Big Me"
207. Butthole Surfers "Pepper"
206. Cibo Matto "Know Your Chicken"
205. Sublime "What I Got"
204. Burzum "Rundgang um die transzendentale Säule der Singularität"
203. Z-Rock Hawaii "The Meadow"
202. LL Cool J "Loungin' (Remix)"

201. Spoon "All The Negatives Have Been Destroyed"
200. MC Lyte "Cold Rock A Party"
199. Pearl Jam "Mankind"
198. Polvo "Feather Of Forgiveness"
197. 112 "Only You"
196. Rage Against The Machine "People Of The Sun"
195. Color Me Badd "The Earth The Sun The rain"

194. The Lemonheads "If I Could Talk"
193. Stone Temple Pilots "Tumble In The Rough"
192. Nada Surf "Stalemate"
191. The Cardigans "Been It"
190. Porno For Pyros "Kimberly Austin"
189. Aaliyah "4 Page Letter"
188. Blahzay Blazhay "Danger"
187. Silkworm "Nerves"
186. The Fu-Gees "Fu-Gee-La"

185. En Vogue “Don’t let Go (Love)"
184. Cannibal Corpse “Puncture Wound Massacre”
183. Crush “Jellyhead”
182. Heatmiser "Plainclothes man"
181. Alec Empire "The Peak"
180. Z-Rock Hawaii "Piledriver"
179. Foxy Brown featuring BLACKStreet “Get Me Home”
178. Ween "Piss Up A Rope"
177. Smashing Pumpkins "God"
176. Primitive Radio Gods “Standing Outside a Broken Phonebooth With Money in My Hand"
175. Quad City DJ’s “C'mon and Ride It (The Train)”
174. Ghostface Killah "Iron Man"
173. Sebadoh "Mind Reader"

172. Garbage "Stupid Girl"
171. The Cardigans "Losers"
170. Aphex Twin “Milkman”
169. Ginuwine "When Doves Cry"
168. The Wesley Willis Fiasco "Jesus Is The Answer"
167. Sleater-Kinney “I Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone”
166. Spice Girls "Say You'll Be There"
165. They Might Be Giants "XTC Vs. Adam Ant"
164. Rammstein “Das Alte Leid”
163. Nas "Take It In Blood"
162. Sloan “Everything You’ve Done Wrong"
161. 2Pac featuring Dr. Dre "California Love"
160. RL Burnside “Goin’ Down South”
159. The Cure “Mint Car”
158. Dr. Octagon “Girl Let Me Touch You"
157. Sublime "Same In The End"
156. Pavement "Painted Soldiers"
155. Big Shug "Crush"
154. Butthole Surfers "The Lord Is A Monkey"

153. Heltah Skeltah “Leflaur Leflah Eshkoshka”
152. Destroy 2 (Eye and Chu) "24H?"
151. Fu Manchu “Solid Hex”
150. LL Cool J "Doin' It"
149. No Doubt "Don't Speak"
148. Chavez "Tight Around the Jaws"
147. Carnun "The Prophecies Of The Horned One"
146. The Fugees "Killing Me Softly"
145. Rage Against The Machine "Bulls On Parade"
144. Aaliyah "Got To Give It Up"
143. Rake "Special Agent: Rake"
142. The Verve Pipe "Photograph"
141. Local H "Lovey Dovey"
140. Ween "I'll Miss You"
139. Supergrass "Going Out"
138. GZA "Shadowboxing"
137. Air "Modulor Mix"
136. Turbonegro "The Midnight NAMBLA"
135. Radiohead "Molasses"
134. Keith Sweat "Nobody"
133. Eldopa "The Burning"
132. Ben Folds Five "Where's Summer B?"

131. Guided By Voices “Cut-Out Witch (Peel Session)"
130. Bongzilla "Lighten Up"
129. OMC “How Bizarre”
128. Jay-Z “Cashmere Thoughts”
127. Pulp “Mile End”
126. Ghostface Killah “All That I Got Is You”
125. Pearl Jam “Habit”
124. Harry Pussy “Ride A Dove”
123. The Posies “Grant Hart”
122. Aphex Twin “Cornish Acid”
121. Soundgarden “Ty Cobb”
120. Space Needle “Before I Lose My Style”
119. Outkast “Wheelz Of Steel”
118. The Swirlies “San Cristobal De Las Casas”
117. Ash “Oh Yeah”
116. Nada Surf “Deeper Well”
115. Beck “High 5 (Rock The Catskills)”
114. Mr. Dibbs "B-Boys Revenge '96 (Porkopolis Turntable Jazz)"
113. Dr. Octagon “halfsharkalligatorhalfman”
112. Brendan Benson “Emma J”

111. Superdrag “Destination Ursa Major”
110. Prodigy “Firestarter”
109. DJ Shadow “Napalm Brain/Scatter Brain”
108. The Beatles "Real Love"
107. Sponge “Wax Ecstatic (To Sell Angelina)”
106. Polvo "Bridesmaid Blues"
105. Brujeria “Hermanos Menendez”
104. My Bloody Valentine “Map Ref 41N 93W”
103. Counting Crows “A Long December”
102. Spazz “WWF Rematch At The Cow Palace (Aluta Continua)”
101. DJ Kool “Let Me Clear My Throat”
100. Weezer “Devotion”
99. Busta Rhymes featuring Ol' Dirty Bastard "Woo-Haa! I Got You All In Check"
98. No Doubt “Happy Now?”
97. Redman “Whateva Man”
96. Bush "Swallowed"
95. Failure “Solaris”
94. White Town "Your Woman"
93. Beck "Readymade"
92. Satyricon "Nemesis Divina"

91. Brainiac "Hot Seat Can't Sit Down"
90. The Presidents Of The United States Of America "Mach 5"
89. The Pharcyde "Runnin'"
88. Ween "You Were The Fool"
87. Guided By Voices "Official Ironmen Rally Song"
86. The Swirlies "In Harmony New Found Freedom"
85. Soundgarden "Rhinosaur"
84. Eyehategod "Masters of Legalized Confusion"
83. Local H "I Saw What You Did And I Know Who You Are"
82. Pavement "Give It A Day"
81. Tool "Ænema"
80. Smashing Pumpkins "Pennies"
79. John Parish and Polly Jean Harvey "That Was My Veil"
78. Pearl Jam "Smile"
77. Fountains Of Wayne "Sink To The Bottom"
76. DJ Shadow "What Does Your Soul Look Like (Part 4)"
75. Rage Against The Machine "Down Rodeo"
74. Weezer "The Good Life"

73. Failure "Stuck On You"
72. Stone Temple Pilots "Ride The Cliche"
71. Aphex Twin "4"
70. Lil Kim "Crush On You"
69. Spazz "Donger"
68. Sneaker Pimps "6 Underground (Nellee Hooper Edit)"
67. The Olivia Tremor Control "Jumping Fences"
66. Turbonegro "I Got Erection"
65. BlackSTREET featurning Dr. Dre "No Diggity"
64. Jon Spencer Blues Explosion "Wail"
63. Dr Octagon "Earth People"
62. Unwound "Unauthorized Biography"
61. Failure "Pitiful"
60. Atari Teenage Riot "Deutschland (Has Gotta Die)"
59. The Pharcyde "Drop"
58. The Cardigans "Lovefool"
57. Chemical Brothers "Setting Sun"

56. Mortician "Embalmed Alive"
55. Jamiroquai "Virtual Insanity"
54. Soundgarden "Pretty Noose"
53. Mobb Deep "GOD Part 3"
52. Beck "Sissyneck"
51. Tool "Stinkfist"
50. Unwound "Corpse Pose"
49. Jay-Z featuring Foxy Brown "Ain't No N****"
48. Fiona Apple "Shadowboxer"
47. Elliott Smith "Speed Trials"
46. Stereolab "Spark Plug"
45. Wilco "Misunderstood"
44. Stone Temple Pilots "Big Bang Baby"
43. DJ Shadow "Stem/Long Stem"
42. Fountains Of Wayne "Radiation Vibe"
41. OutKast "ATLiens"
40. Weezer "Across The Sea"
39. Beck "Devil's Haircut"
38. Underworld "Born Slippy"
37. Olivia Tremor Control "Can You Come Down With Us"
36. DJ Shadow "The Number Song"

Friday, October 12, 2012

springer 1996

The most recent Sifl & Olly refers to 1996 as the last time that "physically touching things" was acceptable. We would embed the vid here, but S&O is way too 1998-oriented. Not happening.

We used to watch Talk Soup every single day (5 days a week) throughout 1996. Notable show highlights include Sally Jesse Raphael's infamous "I don't need you punk for my ratings" speech, or anytime they would follow up a clip by saying "and here's some footage of what happened afterwards" and just show pictures of houses on fire and explosions. We can't find any of those but here is what the show was typically like on a Tuesday or Wednesday:

Time to read a little viewer mail!!! Heyhey, alright.. This week's letter reads "when will you finish this tedious 1996 bullshit??" and the answer is "now maybe." You wont BEILIEVE...

#56 Mortician "Embalmed Alive"

Making the most sense. This should be #1. We fucked up.

#55 Jamiroquai "Virtual Insanity"

Flank to hold any lack to brought

#54 Soundgarden "Pretty Noose"

Hey man if you guyw wan a tak about a mean ther's been a raid of stu gifs immediate at rush high order....

#53 Mobb Deep "GOD Part 3"

Mor stu

#52 Beck "Sissyneck"

Serious adulthood pickin up the slack. learn the good manners. say HI and GOODBYE or else it's rUDE JERK

#51 Tool "Stinkfist"

Board game miniatjure played for the first thirty seconds but they got shoe'd away. I was offer dangerous cars and van dragonsit gets worse when you let them know the have your information. it'w supposed to be tuckd away and hidden to keep away undesirables from getting to it.

#50 Unwound "Corpse Pose"

Cost was lost. Something turned into the weather pagse and think i fell asleep. yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

#49 Jay-Z featuring Foxy Brown "Ain't No N****"

Jay-Z holds the blue fountain drink cops while Foxy is the boss who keeps showing up with more crazy capers for them all new adventures. He says right in the song "diamonds and leather."

#48 Fiona Apple "Shadowboxer"

office video game it's barely have ot try mode. might wannaw try out

#47 Elliott Smith "Speed Trials"

draggon draggin' sweet pinball off to his new man-cave. Dats the boy.

#46 Stereolab "Spark Plug"

"With the giant quack, and i still have to do the dishes?"

#45 Wilco "Misunderstood"

Ariel is setting up her new daycare center, checking thing out makin sure everything's in order before the first momet they arrive. and in the middle of settng up and cleaning the loud part of this sound jumps from no where. The fucking line keeps moving too but him him.

#44 Stone Temple Pilots "Big Bang Baby"

deadpan goofiness is so hard to find thse days. Like the star shows up and it's the for guys and they're just like "hey man, whatever, Brady Bunch love" and shattering glasses onto gorilla helmets. Good 90's vid.

#43 DJ Shadow "Stem/Long Stem"

"Stem (Cops and Robbers Mix)" is cool but GIANT SPOILER WARNING to those who haven't seen Heat yet. P.S. You should see Heat (1995).

#42 Fountains Of Wayne "Radiation Vibe"

Receive quarters in the dark. Dark quarters. It got brought AAH.

#41 OutKast "ATLiens"

"Let me see them titties." She said "ok."

#40 Weezer "Across The Sea"

The Rolling Stone myth never happened. RS readers were asked "What was the worst album of 1996?" and the album that got the second highest votes was the same record as "words and dreams and a million screams." No one is able to present tangible evidence of this, and so it never happened. Go back to bed.

#39 Beck "Devil's Haircut"

Springer punched out that dude in one epiode. Not the one where he says "You shut your face" though:

#38 Underworld "Born Slippy"

Ya wee cunts, Rent Boy and Spud, can't believe ya made it thisfar. Such a perfecty day feed animals at the zoo.

#37 Olivia Tremor Control "Can You Come Down With Us"

Stand next to Jean Luc-Picard, pretend that you are in Deep Spade Nine.

#36 DJ Shadow "The Number Song"

More big bass. The middle-section is when the master of ceremonies arrives wearing his big cape that he holds up the whole time while the audience goes nuts.

No energy to complete this ugly bitch but it will get done.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

new jams! "She Said OK" and "Hot Cheetos & Takis"

The chorus on the new Big Boi............ You've gotta be kidding........

And then this thing..... we'd like to give a giant "hell yeah" to YN Rich Kids...

rock the vote 1996

we're huge clinton supporters. in fact, we all would have voted for him if any of us were US citizens. (die amerikaner sind schweine.)*

*not technically a joke from TV in 1996 but it fits.

#73 Failure "Stuck On You"

mellow drone. summer tic. slow mo sledgehammer

#72 Stone Temple Pilots "Ride The Cliche"

bowiezepeplennon trifecta culmination. pulling all the packages together. Bag the baggies. Trash the grungies.

#71 Aphex Twin "4"

Crack is positive when it leads to neck comfort. "richard d james is my antidrug" The very deep meaningful lyrics of "4" sound like the guy is saying "yep" except whoever's getting sampled was too lazy to close their mouth and so it ends up sounding like "yet."

#70 Lil Kim "Crush On You"

ok on the version posted here Lil Kim actually contributes raps. The one we're familiar with has no Lil Kim even though it's supposed to be her song. Happy to see this worked out for everyone.

#69 Spazz "Donger"

Skate through bees, nothing to see here people.

#68 Sneaker Pimps "6 Underground (Nellee Hooper Edit)"

creepy mischievous vague. if you like girls and a girl bones you to this song you should buy her a dinner and flowers so that she can bone you to this song again.

#67 The Olivia Tremor Control "Jumping Fences"

stars are sinking. everybody's a suspect.

#66 Turbonegro "I Got Erection"

may or may not result in an exit on gigantic penis motorcycles.

#65 BlackSTREET featurning Dr. Dre "No Diggity"

Overalls were still hip in '96. Not-so-fun fanfic: Imagining Dr. Dre being a huge dick to BlackSTREET in the studio while asking them to sing the chorus for the 89th time. Fun outcome: No Diggity is fucking classic, so turns out he was right.

#64 Jon Spencer Blues Explosion "Wail"

The blues = #1

#63 Dr Octagon "Earth People"

We could probably write 10 paragraphs only analyzing the lyric "My 7XL is not yet invented" but this is neither the time nor the place. My number's 7097556EL3 computer file 93. Five colors: yellow black and red and green purple. (We were planning on saving this entry for "Real Raw" but we realized at the last minute it's only on the Dreamworks version of this album which wasn't released until '97! That was close.)

#62 Unwound "Unauthorized Biography"

"Bob Dole doesn't need this." - Unwound

#61 Failure "Pitiful"

We never actually timed it before, but turns out the fade-out on this is actually 9 minutes long.

#60 Atari Teenage Riot "Deutschland (Has Gotta Die)"

fuck all

#59 The Pharcyde "Drop"

'96 must have been the pinnacle of psychedelic hiphop. if you'd like to learn more about "Drop" why not check out the making of "drop"

#58 The Cardigans "Lovefool"

bipolar heartbreak tears disguised as giant smile. the last chord of this is still an alltime gut-stabber. (claire danes agrees, lol.) has anyone else noticed the tape warp on the US-version of this? strange that it was never fixed. also we never knew this song had two videos; we would've opted for the lesser known UK version but god it's so fucking awkward... whoever made them reshoot this made an excellent call.

#57 Chemical Brothers "Setting Sun"

X. as in E. you know like, MDMA?

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

"the making of MMT" doc

The original DVD of Magical Mystery Tour is kinda not great, and they've finally gotten around to putting together one that's a bit more official with this documentary as a bonus feature. Coincidentally, over the past few years, we posted four or five clips from Youtube that were used in this, and all of them received the tags "beatles" and "drugs."

Monday, October 8, 2012

amazing mr rogers video

Can't believe it's been almost 10 years since he left us in February 2003... This is one of the best things on Youtube we've ever seen.

Friday, October 5, 2012

celeb jep 96 69

yo did you know 96 is inverted 69 wtf funny or die has the worst embed code fuck dem g's

We got some prolems. Norm MacDonald wrote the 1st celebrity jeopardy sketch in 1996, but then later after the sketch became "recurring" and other writers seized the brand, they did the joke where Connery says "I'll take THE RAPISTS for $200" and the category is actually "THERAPISTS" and that was straight-up stolen from Benny Hill. Benny did a sketch once where he went up to some dude's door and it say "Therapist" and he separated the nametag so that it said "The rapist," and then he mugs for the camera and the audience is all like "lmao."

If we ever get to speak to Norm MacDonald we will ask him about this because we know Norm would never stoop to intentionally stealing a Benny Hill joke. Maybe it's just one of those obvious-ass jokes.

Guess what else was in 1996? (_|_) (ass)

#91 Brainiac "Hot Seat Can't Sit Down"

"Welcome to earth." - Brainiac after punching aliens in the face in Independence Day

#90 The Presidents Of The United States Of America "Mach 5"

Apparently the brownies from the craft services table were "irresistible" during the video shoot for "Mach 5." Also POTUSA is the ultimate "3rd grade kids screaming and running around during birthday party" band. If you are a parent and your child is 9, you should buy them one of the first two POTUSA CD's. This is what good parenting is all about.

#89 The Pharcyde "Runnin'"

"It's 1995." The singles for this album were all released in '96, but we'll forgive them. "As if."

#88 Ween "You Were The Fool"

The best song from 12 Golden Country Greats still might not be able to eclipse its best moment, which is the Mohammad Ali speech that they were forced to have removed from "Powder Blue." Although "You Were The Fool" is still A+.

#87 Guided By Voices "Official Ironmen Rally Song"

Bob wrote this one while he was drunk. The feeling is mutual.

#86 The Swirlies "In Harmony New Found Freedom"


#85 Soundgarden "Rhinosaur"

"kinda hot in these rhinos" - matt cameron

#84 Eyehategod "Masters of Legalized Confusion"

'96 was immediately pre-"post-junkie chic" which launched in '97... so like fiona apple was cool in '96 cos she looked like she was on heroin, and then in '98 natalie imbruglia was cool cos she looked like she was going through withdrawal

#83 Local H "I Saw What You Did And I Know Who You Are"

Scott Lucas appears to have figured out how to play simultaneous distinct separate guitar and bass parts for this song.

#82 Pavement "Give It A Day"

Seems to be a fan favorite. It's aight.

#81 Tool "Ænema"

Learn ta swim. They used to play this on some "adult" oriented MTV video-block that aired daily between midnight and 12:30 circa May/June 1997, which seemed to exist solely for anyone who really enjoyed JO'ing to Fiona Apple every single night at 12:10AM.

#80 Smashing Pumpkins "Pennies"

"Spoken like a true asshole." - Chubbs from Happy Gilmour to Billy Corgan

#79 John Parish and Polly Jean Harvey "That Was My Veil"

Luv you PJ

#78 Pearl Jam "Smile"

"duuuh i dun like perl jam duhhh im a big dumass duhh" Fuck y'all. Grow up. Even as a pack of punk teen retards, we could tell this was obviously jacked from Neil Young. "I miss you already." Why wasn't this song huge? Still rules.

#77 Fountains Of Wayne "Sink To The Bottom"

Since we've already exhausted the SNL category, we might as well mention the "Bill Brasky was a son of a bitch" sketch also debuted in 1996. They should make an entire 2 hour movie of this shit:

#76 DJ Shadow "What Does Your Soul Look Like (Part 4)"

Huge bass on this one. I wrote a paper about DJ Shadow freshman year of college and my teacher critiqued that he sounded "parasitic." Well yeah... That's the whole point.

#75 Rage Against The Machine "Down Rodeo"

Big ups to Tom Morello for figuring out how to make his guitar sound like a scratching turntable.

#74 Weezer "The Good Life"

"The Good Life" video showcases what we've previously described as "the world's most perfect rock band" and we wholeheartedly stand by this theory. In our humble opinions, tracks 5 through 9 on Pinkerton have some of the craziest and most dramatic bridge-sections ANYONE has yet attempted. The only reason why this isn't higher than #74 can mostly be attributed to the lyric "shakin' booty makin' sweet love all the night" which unfortunately appears in this song three times.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

prank calls 1996

check it out. harry sachz.

harry responds, "somebody gawna diiii."

pumped up with some steam. the next portion of our 1996 jams/mix has been supplied by Stewart Stevenson.

#111 Superdrag “Destination Ursa Major”

Superdrag dresses like the The Ramones and plays songs like this one.

#110 Prodigy “Firestarter”

Can dubstep really be traced back to Keith Flint? I think we've re-discovered all responsible parties. They all were members of Prodigy, and they stuck lots of metal crap into holes in their faces.

#109 DJ Shadow “Napalm Brain/Scatter Brain”

I was startled to realize my name was touching my face until it moved.

#108 The Beatles "Real Love"

There are 6 or 7 different videos of "Real Love" on Youtube. All of them suck.

#107 Sponge “Wax Ecstatic (To Sell Angelina)”

Post-grunge dudes started wearing glam outfits. They're possibly in a high school during roller derby class. Mostly weird images involving pills and the sale of drugs and honey.

#106 Polvo "Bridesmaid Blues"

These parents can't take them away. "Wobbly will prevent the firestorm." "ITS ON FIRE!" no go back to sleep you were just having a stupid fucking nightmare.

#105 Brujeria “Hermanos Menendez”

The Menendez brothers didn't get to sing on this song because they're in jail for killing their parents. Was it #MurderForPizza ? We're taking your calls.

#104 My Bloody Valentine “Map Ref 41N 93W”

Light flickerers. Interrupting my train of thought. MBV reunion actually started up in 1996 with this song. The subsequent new full length is prepared at a rate of 2 songs a year so that means we'll have 32 songs on this bitch. Word up.

#103 Counting Crows “A Long December”

Justifies their existence. Which is saying a lot for this song.

#102 Spazz “WWF Rematch At The Cow Palace (Aluta Continua)”

The cartel's power team is in. Poison man's reign of terror. These kids.

#101 DJ Kool “Let Me Clear My Throat”

Ed Lover dance invention. Special dedication to all the ladies if you got real hand, real fingernail, real kneecap, you goin to school, make some noise.

#100 Weezer “Devotion”

Fluterying pieces off of the lego rainbow. Scurrying away. In the deep central caramel center of "Devotion" lies the first or second or many push-asides. Lego tower was serious business. The kids in the class made sure to "fingerprint" (actually ink on a piece of scotch tape) and match the finger prints with the legos. The effort was a long shot to begin with, Now it looks like a big dark blue half sqere with white stripes haning out of it.

#99 Busta Rhymes featuring Ol' Dirty Bastard "Woo-Haa! I Got You All In Check"

Jonah's stern fern big face. It looks like the trash heep but more 2-D. And more mobile. A kid got run over by a car and ODB was the only gentlemen who was able to investigate and access the situation facy enough too pull little small little child same from out of harm's way. Later that night he jumped on stage because I needed to let people know what the true story was all about. "Puffy's Good, But Wu-Tang Is For The Children. I went out today and I got me a new suit."

#98 No Doubt “Happy Now?”

No Doubt's pissed in this one. inner-tension! ooooohh so dramatic you guys.

#97 Redman “Whateva Man”

Meth and Red continue rolling and rulings. This was possibly a pilot/trailer for their other collaborative videos and movies. But prolly not.

#96 Bush "Swallowed"

wtf this song doesn't suck at all, quit bein' a little bitch.

#95 Failure “Solaris”

Much concern over George Clooney's 2005 blockbuster Solaris. Wasn't sure if it kicked any ass. (words...words...words...)

#94 White Town "Your Woman"

It loos like someone's following people around town with a telescope, which is topical since voyeurism appears to be very topical in the media as of late. This was one of the songs that song dude made on a 4-track in his bedroom and then was played all over K-Rock 12 months later.

#93 Beck "Readymade"

Listening to modern rock stations in 95/96/97 sounded somewhat exciting. The obvious turds kept the stations grounded. However, outside of this was strange variety and creativity. Locate any "Buzz Clip" commercial within that period for the proof. "Song 2" Squirrel Nut Zippers, the Odelay singles, "Your Woman," "The Perfect Drug," and "Paranoid Android" could be played in succession and no one would think twice about it. (EDIT: None of these were on the radio in 1996 lol. Except "Odelay" singles obviously.)

#92 Satyricon "Nemesis Divina"

They really hit their stride with this one. The guns are helping.

Monday, October 1, 2012

true stories about n64 in 1996

True story: This really weird girl at church was sitting on the ground next to the priest while he was giving his sermon. The priest was kinda walking around with his microphone and he went up to the girl and he asks "So what do YOU want for Christmas?" and she said "Nintendo 64." And then everyone in the church was like gasping because they couldn't believe such innocence could produce such a vulgar response. The child was condemned into exile moments later. A week later she made this video...

Not drunk enough??

#131 Guided By Voices “Cut-Out Witch” (Peel Session)

drunk doesn't even cover it with these guys

#130 Bongzilla "Lighten Up"

huge rips / monster riffs. This is what you listen to while you pig out on buckets of junk food for 6 hours straight. "Light'em up." Get it?

#129 OMC “How Bizarre”

OMC liked to chill while driving in his convertible firehawk camero thundereagle and he used to pick up hitchhikers but only if they were asian and he made them sit in the backseat and listen to "How Bizarre" while he lipsynched and that's what this song was written about. It charted state-side in 1997, but hit #1 in the UK in '96 SO THIS SONG COUNTS FOR 96 OKAY?? Also, this guy is now dead. Wanna learn the rest? HEY! Buy the rights.

#128 Jay-Z “Cashmere Thoughts”

For about 3 months in late 1995 Jay-Z had an obsession with mullets and mullet culture and he wrote 3 albums worth of songs only about mullets. "Cashmere Thoughts" is the only one that made it onto Reasonable Doubt. Around this time, he ended up ghost-writing the third verse of "Cut The Mullet" by Wesley Willis.

#127 Pulp “Mile End”

Rent Boy's bein' responsible. Caught a job & no more methadon. (purposely spelled wrong because in Trainspotting the mom says "METH-ah-din")

#126 Ghostface Killah “All That I Got Is You”

featuring Mary J. On the bus on the way to school, this song would play while kids were filling up their bowls of fruit loops with tap water.

#125 Pearl Jam “Habit”

Vedder wrote the song "Lukin" while he was hiding in Matt Lukin's house, after a bunch of fans were running up and down the street and were looking for Vedder. We don't really like "Lukin" that much, but "Habit" is cool, but it doesn't have as good of a story.

#124 Harry Pussy “Ride A Dove”

"I have GOT to get me one of these." - Harry Pussy while starting up the alien spacecraft in Independence Day

#123 The Posies “Grant Hart”

Unfortunate: the 2 most important movies of the 90s (The Net [1995] and Speed 2: Cruise Control [1997]) just narrowly missed out from ass document consideration. The Posies would later go on to form the band Big Star.

#122 Aphex Twin “Cornish Acid”

Richard D James reprised his role as the lead singer of C+C Music Factory only once in 1992 at a one-off concert, which was the first ever public performance of "Cornish Acid." That's his real face. It was not manipulated by Chris Cunningham.

#121 Soundgarden “Ty Cobb”


#120 Space Needle “Before I Lose My Style”

This one is kinda cheating... We're counting this as a 1996 single released from a 1995 album, and Space Needle didn't receive any significant press until 1996 anyway. (They have a 1996 7-inch but neither song is as good as "Before I Lose My Style.")

#119 Outkast “Wheelz Of Steel”

"If this bitch friend of yours doesn't get here soon I'm gonna have to shave again." - Big Boi speaking to Andre 3000 while they wait for bitches.

#118 The Swirlies “San Cristobal De Las Casas”

We could be totally wrong here, but are The Swirlies currently more popular than ever? "90s resurgence" in 2012? This is really actually happening.

#117 Ash “Oh Yeah”

Ash is 15. Or maybe they're like 16 or 17. But they're high school age. And they were just like "whatever, we're 15" and it wasn't a big deal. But like, when Britney and Taylor Swift and Jordy had their first songs out, they were all like "I can't wait to grow up, life is so unfair, I need to masturbate in my videos more often so that I can feel like I'm older." But Ash never worried about that bullshit. They just did their thing.

#116 Nada Surf “Deeper Well”

The song "Popular" is not very popular with us HEH. Actually it's ok but it's lower than #253 on this list, and so is "Sucked Out" by Superdrag. SORRY KIDS. "Deeper Well" 4 life.

#115 Beck “High 5 (Rock The Catskills)”

YEAH! (yeah.)

#114 Mr. Dibbs "B-Boys Revenge '96 (Porkopolis Turntable Jazz)"

"They call me Mr. Dibbs." - Mr. Dibbs.

#113 Dr. Octagon “halfsharkalligatorhalfman”

You have bees flying around your rectum.

#112 Brendan Benson “Emma J”

The kids used to call him "Bendin' Brenson" and he'd be all like "FUCK YOU GUYS" and his reaction made the kids laugh even more. And when we say "used to" we mean this happened two weeks ago when a bunch of 12-year-olds saw him at Applebee's and walked up to him just for the fun of tormenting.