We had a Top 100 videos of the year list ready to post along with this but then the order got mixed up and we added like 20 more videos and then added some 80s videos so just pretend.
Note: We haven't seen a lot of these before. Lots of educated guesses. (For stuff like this, MTVZ likes to guess "what would the programmers of classic MTV put as their top 100 of the year if these just happened to come out in 1987-2002" or something.)
Okay we'll type out the first few until we get bored:
1. NewJeans - Super Shy
2. Troye Sivan - Got Me Started
3. Baby Keem & Kendrick Lamar - The Hillbillies
4. Sho Madjozi - Chale
5. Julie - Pg 4 A Picture of Three Hedges
6. The Tubs - Wretched Lie
7. DJ Crazy Times - Planet Of The Bass
8. Peggy Gou - It Goes Like Nanana
9. The Hives - Bogus Operandi
10. Yung Lean - Trip
11. 100 Gecs - Dumbest Girl Alive
12. Tyler The Creator - Wharf Talk
13. Latto ft Cardi B - Put It On Da Floor Again
14. SZA - Kill Bill
15. Bar Italia - Worlds Greatest Emoter
16. Beach Fossils - Don't Fade Away
17. Lil Yachty - The Black Seminole (SNL)
18. Pardoner - Are You Free Tonight
19. Milly - Grab The Wheel
20. Margo Price ft Sharon Van Etten - Radio
21. PinkPanteress ft Ice Spice - Boy's A Liar Pt 2
The Replacements - Bastards Of Young (Bonus 80s Videos)
Til Tuesday - Voices Carry (Bonus 80s Videos)
22. Militarie Gun - Very High
23. SZA - Snooze
24. Troye Sivan - Rush
25. Boygenius - Not Strong Enough
26. Paramore - Running Out of Time
27. Kurt Vile - Another Good Year For the Roses
28. Sabrina Carpenter - Feather
29. Promiseland - Bad Days
30. 100 Gecs - The Most Wanted Person In The United States
31. Phony Ppl - Nowhere But Up
32. etc etc...
...
...96. Odd Eye Circle - Air Force One
97. Tyler The Creator - Heaven To Me
98. The Smile - Wall of Eyes
99. Parannoul - We Shine At Night
100. Ghost - Jesus He Knows Me
The newest edition of MTVZ has arrived, and we want you all to enjoy it now, today.
*****In our first hour, we have the latest videos from Future, Milly, Momma, Nilufer Yanya, Horsegirl, Pet Fox, and Alex G, plus classics from Unsane, Fu Manchu, Braniac, some live Gish-era Smashing Pumpkins, and also we got the fresh new Viper remix in there. ****
Curated with love. If you don't watch, it means you hate me. Watch it, and then tell your friends. Have a party and leave it on. Do not fuck this up.
The Youtube app on Roku has added a whole buncha bullshit that has made MTVZ streaming a lot more fucking annoying. For example, there's a lot more ads, which is fine I guess.
But nothing is as bad as the "Continue watching?" button that pops up about once per hour, freezing the video until the button is entered. Which entirely defeats the purpose of MTVZ. (The purpose is "Leave It On" -- a tagline that we made up that we felt pretty accurately describes its purpose. It's intended for passive viewing.
Spotify claims to have cornered the market on passive content consumption, but Youtube seems to be pretty anti-passive consumption because they want to make sure people are watching all of their ads. Not only is it fucking bullshit, but it has entirely ruined MTVZ for everyone. We sorely miss the days when we could "leave it on" and then head out for a bike ride and return 2 hours later to see some fucking weird random shit on the TV. Or falling asleep to an especially long 300 video playlist and then waking up the next morning and not quite understanding what we're seeing. It's great. Or at least it was great. But now it's over. It's no more. It's dead now.
There is one huge exception -- an option for those who want to continue watching. If you currently spending $12/month on Youtube Premium, you will not see the "Continue Watching?" interruptions, nor will you receive any 4 minute ads (or 15 second ads, or any ads).
For normal free Youtube users, we did figure out "one weird trick" that sometimes works: When you let a few longer ads just play out all the way through, it often will reduce the frequency and length of ad content that shows up later in the playlist, which does alleviate some frustration.)
Imagine publicly complaining over and over about the bad ethics of Spotify and then not encouraging people to enjoy other playlisting alternatives. Just imagine it, but then don't be that guy. Don't be that piece of shit.
We needed a way to more appropriately award DaBaby with the "Video Artist Of The Year" designation and properly welcome him to the elite inner circle of video royalty. So it only made sense to tie his three best videos at #1.
Dropping on March 4th, "Suge" was DaBaby's breakthrough. "Bouncing around with joy" is his motive for life. After DaBaby the CEO is shown dancing around the office with a bottle of champagne, a mysterious squirt of diarrhea is shown on an office chair at 1:01. Again at 2:36, DaBaby rings the doorbell just before deciding to piss all over a nearby lawn statue. For the first time in this blog's history, our "Video of the year" includes both doodoo and peepee.
The intro dialogue of "Baby Sitter" seems to foreshadow an obvious "fuck the babysitter" implication, although DaBaby and Offset refreshingly opt to focus on toys, pillow fights, basketball, weed, and throwing money. For once, "boning the hot chick" isn't necessarily the primary objective. (Probably smart considering both dudes are married.) Also we love any video prominently featuring gigantic punchbowls full of sugary colorful cereal. There's also a boom mic operator in the window reflection at 0:56.
The seemingly unending stream of raunch throughout past 25 years of hiphop videos reaches an apex of absurdity with "VIBEZ," borrowing visuals from both A Hard Days Night and another similarly inane trilogy: Busta Rhymes' '97-era collabs with Hype Williams ("Put Your Hands...," "Dangerous," and "Gimme Some More").
Happy 2nd birthday to "Muddy Waters." The song dropped alongside its video exactly two years ago on December 30, 2017. Despite the glaring discrepancy in calendar year, we made a vow to include it in Viddles 2019 since it brightened up our cloudy year on multiple occasions. It includes the best hackysack sequence in a video since "Say It Ain't So." And there's also hockey. The drummer intentionally resembles Andy Warhol and is intentionally playing quietly so that they don't disturb the neighbors. We later learned the female guest vocalist is not one of the band members, but she shows up for the shoot and gets the shopping cart all to herself. Everyone in this video looks like they could severely kick all of our asses. It's wonderful.
Okay, so this is not a traditional music video. But also we don't think anything like this will ever happen again.
We'd like to think a large portion of the success of "U Was At The Club (Bottoms Up)" has a lot to do with Boyboy's engagingly peculiar features. His unusual eyes are starry and friendly with naturally lush eyelashes and full arched eyebrows resting below a pair of sunglasses that never moves below his forehead. Then there's the empty double styrofoam cup. "Bottoms up!" calls out the meatwad-autotune as the BoyBoy takes large sips of air. But without it, the video wouldn't be the same. He needed that prop. He's also having the time of his life with natural shining charisma. It was a perfect enough video to become the first and possibly only instance of an unknown artist blowing up after lip-synching to their own unreleased song over TikTok.
One of the Tim & Eric regulars (the dude with the hair) makes an appearance here. He's rare for sure, and at one point he holds up a raw steak and says "I'm rare!"
Lil Wayne's big scene on the operating table reminds us of his unfortunate hospitalization scares back in 2012 and then again in 2016/2017. From the looks of it, surgeons were successful in removing the offending blockers, including an entire bottle of hot sauce, a giant red bong, a solid gold brick, a green gord of some sort, a tea kettle, a baby tree, some red women's underwear, a maraca, a statue of three men, a mason jar, a solid gold skateboard, the holy bible, a dollhouse, and finally a two-dollar-bill. The surgeons download a selling app not long afterwards and attempt to sell the skateboard for $9,999.99.
"It's like dragon Ball z was tossed in a blender with the blue Man group while maximum the hormone auditioned for a spot on the fast and furious sound track. I'm sharing this with the world. I think Im crying right now but it's like a super confused happy crying."
Entirely shot on the singer's phone attached to a selfie stick during band practice at the band's actual practice space after they finished working their day jobs. And those are probably the outfits they wore to work that day.
We just guessed all of those details by the way; the video doesn't seem to suggest anything different.
It's a big day. The simplicity is the complexity. Childhood summer afternoons feel as huge as "Gretel" sounds. Smoke emits from some head-on collisions during the Hot Wheels Road Rally, and any similar forthcoming smokey smells may one day spark nostalgia for this kickass summery afternoon.
In the Red Bull Radio exclusive from late 2018, Earl Sweatshirt and Solange had a long talk about the eventual next steps: "At some point I'm gonna make the transition to youth basketball coach *slash* conspiracy theorist. ... In probably about two to three years. ... You definitely gotta have a car, I know that. You gotta have one of them mesh bags with hella balls in it. And a place to put Capri Sun and trophies."
So there's some other garbage-looking basketball coach movie coming out soon with Ben Affleck. It looks fucking stupid, and we don't get why they didn't cast Earl. He would arrive on set blazed as fuck everyday, like in the "East" video (also included below). Prioritize quality.
Chem Bros branding for 2019 included a series of music videos featuring well-lit humans in front of a black backdrop.
We were psyched to see Michel Gondry's long awaited return to music videos after years of absence. But like the Spike Jonze clip posted earlier, Gondry's video for "Got To Keep On" looks like a commercial for GAP or iTunes (until the end when the dancers all melt and turn into a white CGI blob).
The exciting doggo adventures in "We've Got To Try" are closer to our speed.
Here's a pair of animated videos from Cole Kush. Both are strange and made us LOL, and then they both end on bummers. We are sad that the protagonist in the Mac Demarco video is sent down the river like that. One of the townspeople is "The Mask" from the movie The Mask. The TNGHT video gets more blatantly existential. Like yea, we get it. We're all going to die one day. Wow, you're kidding. I had no idea.
We wrote a thing about Spike Jonze's single-shot one-camera video of Karen O and Danger Mouse performing on Colbert. It took a little while to write and then got deleted. We don't really want to continue doing this anymore because there's more important things happening in our lives.
It basically said that Spike Jonze hasn't done as many music videos since 2005, but the ones that he has done are always noteworthy. Like Arcade Fire "The Suburbs" was our #3 video of 2010. That Beastie Boys video from 2011 was our #1 of that year. "I Love It" by Kanye placed #7 last year.
And then we said something about how we would have placed this higher than "Honorable Mention" except that it's #1 a late night show performance, and #2 we don't like elaborate choreography -- and we especially don't like it now after witnessing oversaturation of musical theater over the past decade since the success of Glee and High School Musical. And we used the word "douche-chills" so perhaps this was better off getting erased.
And we closed by saying something about how it's noteworthy that Spike Jonze is capable of taking elements from areas of pop culture and media that are normally base-level dummyhead, and add just enough ambition and edginess that you almost forget you're watching something that you might otherwise hate.
And then we also said that we didn't realize Karen O made any music this year, and something about how Spike and Karen O first collab'd on "Y Control" which is one of the greatest videos of all time. And that's probably everything we said.
It would be unexpected if Rammstein came back after 10 years to make music videos with a budget of $19.99.
We suppose it's definitely unexpected that there's way less humor in their videos this time around. Their video for "Pussy" placed in our 2009 list. We recall one moment where the singer is standing at a podium and running for office while preaching the lyrics of "Pussy."
And now they're back with a billion dollar video about the history of Germany. For those interested, the closing credits includes a nice piano-ballad version of "Sonne" from 2001.
There was much dopeness to be found throughout the videosphere of 2019 -- so much in fact, that we once again arrive prepared with bonus viddles.
Billy V “Real Tune Is Life”
Probably the #1 best vid of the decade. It's still up for debate whether Billy V knew a video was being shot while all of this was happening.
Lil B “Task Force Let Us In”
One of the rarest moments in the Lil B video canon occurs right around the 2:21 mark. The album art appears again just as it does at the close of many Lil B videos, complete with a based message: "LIL B LOVES YOU!" A few seconds later, it turns out the video is not yet over and it returns with 49 more seconds of bonus adventures. Incredible.
Hunt the Dinosaur “Destructo”
Outstanding achievements in method acting. The lead singer of this band died from "looking dead" mid-shoot. @Catatonicyouths is the new VH1.
Little Big "SKIBIDI (Romantic Edition)"
We included the original version of "SKIBIDI" in last year's bonus vids. Due to popular demand, a sequel video appropriately titled the "Romantic edition" arrived in 2019.
Powder "New Tribe"
We found this on both Thrillist and Pitchfork's video of the year list, and they are literally incapable of hyping anything unimportant, so you know these viddles are the real deal. Multiple animation styles + lots of headbanging = #important.
If there was one topic swimming around in the most important and influential minds of 2019, that topic was viddles.
We couldn't walk 5 seconds into the scone world without hearing "Where's the viddles?" or "How are all them viddles?" It was the most frequent topic of discourse on both NBC's Meet The Press and ABC's Nightline.
Today, we will finally get the bottom of this looming mystery.
We did five more MTVZs this year. Sometime in the next week, MTVZ will post our newest edition, which will include the top 100 of 2019 video countdown. It will be a doozy full of every type of the viddles you could ever imagine.
Before getting into the ultimate viddles of 2019, watch all of these right now:
ShittyBoyz x Teejayx6 "Super Smash Bros"
Right now, we're just maxin in the studio. Sometimes it gets a little hectic out there, but right now, we're gonna up you on how we just chill.
Nots “Persona”
Omni "Courtesy Call"
The Chats "Identity Theft"
The shape of punk to come lies within the viddles.
Pet Fox "Be Alone"
Cartoon viddles were all the rage in 2019. The animation style reminds us of '80s Nickelodeon. Also we have our very own pet fox who eats cheese doodles so we can relate to the story here.
Dan Friel "Killipede"
This exact scenario happened to us the other day so we had to throw this one in the mix.
Hellrazor “Landscaper”
How the fuck did this get in here? Who approved this??
From one hundred all the way down to number one. Comin' at cha. We're gonna count all of them down, right here, right now. It's MTVZ's Top 100 Video Countdown of 2018.
Hello good friends! We have good news for you: When you don't know where else to turn, there's always MTVZ. They would never steer anyone in the wrong direction. Not never.
And today, we're counting down all of the most gigantic videos of the year as chosen by the staff of MTVZ.
The newest MTVZ with all 100 videos has been posted below. (As of today, the top 30 have been posted. They'll be joined by the rest early next week!)
100. DJ Burn “He’s My President”
99. Nicki Minaj f/ Lil Wayne “Good Form”
98. Action Bronson “White Bronco”
97. Empress Of “When I’m With Him”
96. Sting & Shaggy “Gotta Get Back My Baby”
95. Dusk “Leaf”
94. Big Freedia “Rent”
93. Lil Xan & Charli XCX “Moonlight”
92. Cazzu “Chapiadora”
91. Silk City, GoldLink & Desiigner “Loud”
90. Ariana Grande “Breathin”
89. Slipknot “All Out Life”
88. Cut Chemist “Moonlightin’ With Biz”
87. Greta Van Fleet “Highway Tune”
86. Gouge Away “Only Friend”
85. Dilly Dally “Marijuana”
84. E-40 f/ Vince Staples & G Perico “Ain’t Talking Bout Nothin”
83. Rico Nasty “Ice Cream”
82. Turnstile “Bomb” / “I Don’t Wanna Be Blind”
81. Stefflon Don “Lil Bitch”
80. MNEK “Tongue”
79. Tenement “Garden of Secrecy”
78. Flasher “Pressure”
77. Nicki Minaj “Barbie Dreams”
76. DRAM “Best Hugs”
75. Lizzo “Boys”
74. Kim Petras “Heart to Break”
73. Drake “In My Feelings”
72. Terry “Bureau”
71. Charli XCX “5 In The Morning”
70. Andrew WK “You’re Not Alone”
69. Jean Grae & Quelle Chris “Gold Purple Orange”
68. Melody’s Echo Chamber “Breathe In, Breathe Out”
67. Big Ups “PPP”
66. Jo Passed “MDM”
65. Aphex Twin “T69 Collapse”
64. Stove “Duckling Fantasy”
63. Young Thug f/ Elton John “High”
62. Bas & A$AP Ferg “Boca Raton”
61. Vince Staples “FUN!”
60. Migos “Stir Fry”
59. Bat Fangs “Wolfbite”
58. Teenage Wrist “Swallow”
57. 2 Chainz f/ YG & Offset “Proud”
56. Mason Ramsey “Famous”
55. Broods “Peach”
54. Kali Uchis f/ Steve Lacy “Just a Stranger”
53. Candy “Good To Feel”
52. Ella Mai “Trip”
51. Kero Kero Bonito “If I’d Known”
50. Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats “Shockwave City”
49. Lil B “YCFMB”
48. No Age “Send Me”
46. Rico Nasty “Counting Up”
45. Famous Dex “Ridin Thru”
44. Nicki Minaj “Chun Li”
43. The Glow “Beamer”
42. Kodak Black “When Vultures Cry”
41. Lil Yachty f/ Ugly God “BOOM!”
40. Kendrick Lamar & SZA “All The Stars”
39. Ariana Grande “God Is A Woman”
38. Lil Peep “Runaway”
37. Robyn “Honey”
36. Courtney Barnett “Need a Little Time”
35. Carly Rae Jepsen “Party For One”
34. Adrianne Lenker “Symbol”
33. Lil Wayne f/ Swizz Beatz “Uproar”
32. Unknown Mortal Orchestra “American Guilt”
31. Flasher “Material”
30. Kayne West & Lil Pump “I Love It”
29. Kim Petras “I Don’t Want It At All”
28. Pig Destroyer “Mt. Skull”
27. Zedd & Maren Morris “The Middle”
26. Mariah Carey “GTFO”
25. Parquet Courts “Wide Awake”
24. Beach House “Lemon Glow”
23. Rae Sremmurd f/ Pharrell “Chanel”
22. Bruno Mars f/ Cardi B “Finesse (Remix)”
21. Windhand “Red Cloud”
20. Bali Baby “Backseat”
19. Migos f/ Drake “Walk It Talk It”
18. Paramore “Caught In The Middle”
17. Pusha T “If You Know You Know”
16. Rosalia “Malamente”
15. Weezer “Africa”
14. Jay Rock, Kendrick Lamar, Future & James Blake “King’s Dead”
13. Ariana Grande “Thank U Next”
12. Cardi B f/ Bad Funny & J Balvin “I Like It”
11. Rae Sremmurd f/ Juicy J “Powerglide”
10. Mitski “Nobody”
09. Childish Gambino “This Is America”
08. Flasher “Who’s Got Time?”
07. Kali Uchis f/ Tyler The Creator “After The Storm”
06. Ella Mai “Boo’d Up”
05. Valee f/ Jeremih “Womp Womp”
04. Windhand “Grey Garden”
03. Sheck Wes “Mo Bamba”
02. Kacey Musgraves “High Horse”
01. Ariana Grande “No Tears Left To Cry”
Did you fall for the troll at 0:20? We sure did, but that's partially because we had actual IRL trouble with our modem signal dropping. Several phonecalls later, Xfinity cancelled our tech visit's 12PM-5PM arrival window claiming all service had been restored, only to leave us staring once again at Flasher frozen in mid-rockage. "Material" is like one of those tweets or Facebook posts where someone loudly complains about how much they hate the extremely free platform they're using to speak to everyone who is reading. We are guilty of this. Because all of them suck. But they're also amazing. Everyone in 1998 who said "the internet is evil" was right. Everyone in 2009 who said "Facebook is evil" was harrowingly on point. And the cycle continues...
TASTE MY KIDS is a digital newsletter compiling recommendations for a happier and healthier existence, most often in the form of "best-of" lists, youtube posts, album or movie reviews, and various scribblings. We lived on Geocities starting in August 2000. In January 2009, times got tough and posts were on hiatus until a new host could be located. Geocities eventually died anyway, and now we live on blogspot. True story.
