Friday, January 25, 2019

23 Times Mr. McMahon Gave Us Life (aka Best WWE Things Of 2018)

It's Royal Rumble weekend - a good time to reflect on the past year for Mr. McMahon.

Was 2018 a good year?
We originally thought "no."
After all, this was the year Sami Zayn challenged Bobby Lashley to an army-style obstacle course to prove his valor.
2018 was the year The Riott Squad reenacted the "Complicated" video.
This was the year Raw and SmackDown joined forces to record the worst song of 2018.
This was the year audiences boo'd Roman Reigns every week only for him to take a leave of absence due to a battle with cancer.
Alexa Bliss, Sami Zayn, Kevin Owens, Braun Strowman, Paige, John Cena, Dean Ambrose and probably 10 other people also took extended absences or sustained debilitating injury.
This was the year Raw relieved Kurt Angle as GM and prominently replaced him with Boring Corbin (aka "Baron Boring").
This was the year Triple H and Shawn Michaels should not have reunited but did anyway.
This was the year of "The Worst Raw Of All Time."

However, we put a list together anyway. Was this a good year? The answer might not be "no," but rather we're thinking the answer is closer to "sort of."

On a more positive note, 4 of WWE's 9 five-star matches took place this year. And at its best, the shows were often very funny.

These are not really ordered, but the first 5 or 6 are better than the stuff at the bottom.

#1. Velveteen Dream's entrance (NXT TakeOver: Philadelphia, Jan 27)

Not included in video: slowly rolling around on the floor of the ring for 45 seconds.

#2 Daniel Bryan vs. Brock Lesnar vs. jaded audience members (Survivor Series, Nov 18)

Brock Lesnar was interesting once in 2018. Audience dude should have meme'd harder.

#3. Becky Lynch ambush with broken face (Raw, Nov 12)

Everyone else's #1.
Honorable mention: Dean Ambrose promo with burning trash cans from the same night

4. Braun Strowman gets a Pitchfork headline for smashing Elias with an upright bass (Raw, Feb 12)

#5. Gargano vs. Ciampa (NXT Takeover: New Orleans, April 7)

#6. Bray Wyatt and Matt Hardy: "The Ultimate Deletion" featuring lawnmowers and drones (Raw, March 19)

#7. Elias vs. Gritty (Raw, Oct 15)

Honorable mention: Ronda Rowsey's 1 good promo from the same night.

#8 Nikki Cross interruption (NXT, Sept 26)

#9. (tie) John Cena runs outside (Wrestlemania, April 8), Braun runs to the bathroom (Raw, Nov 5)

#10. The New Day, Rusev, No Way Jose's conga line, and Bobby Roode interrupt Elias' big song (Backlash, May 6)

#11. The worst Raw of all time (Raw, Nov 26)

Episodes like this are why we started watching. Vince put a lot of hard work into writing this piece of shit. We thank him.

And more stuff...

#12. Bobby Lashley sisters promo (Raw, May 7)

#13. Velteteen Dream's "Call Me Up Vince" pants (NXT Takeover: Brooklyn 4, August 18)

#14. Bayley's false heel turn (Raw, June 25)

#15. Kevin Owens cuts a promo on his cat (@FightOwensFight, Nov 13)

#16. Women's Royal Rumble features Trish Stratus, Lita, Jacqueline, Michelle McCool and Vickie Guerrero (Royal Rumble, Jan 28)

#17. The Miz vs. Daniel Bryan 3-part promo (SmackDown, Aug 14)

#18. Dean Ambrose turns heel moments after Roman's cancer announcement (Raw, Oct 22)

#19. Sami Zayn's reading glasses (Raw, April 16)

#20. Seth Rollins just keeps on going for 65 minutes (Raw, Feb 19)

#21. "The New" Daniel Bryan debuts as a leftist SJW heel (SmackDown, Nov 13 & Nov 20)

#22. Braun pulls a port-o-potty carrying Kevin Owens (Raw, July 2)

#23. Seth's face when Dean came back (Raw, Aug 13)

Also when Elias nailed that 1 solo and smiled but we forget when that happened.

Saturday, January 5, 2019

Get Ready Because It's MTVZ's Top 100 Of 2018 Video Countdown

From one hundred all the way down to number one. Comin' at cha. We're gonna count all of them down, right here, right now. It's MTVZ's Top 100 Video Countdown of 2018.

Hello good friends! We have good news for you: When you don't know where else to turn, there's always MTVZ. They would never steer anyone in the wrong direction. Not never.

And today, we're counting down all of the most gigantic videos of the year as chosen by the staff of MTVZ.

The newest MTVZ with all 100 videos has been posted below. (As of today, the top 30 have been posted. They'll be joined by the rest early next week!)

100. DJ Burn “He’s My President”
99. Nicki Minaj f/ Lil Wayne “Good Form”
98. Action Bronson “White Bronco”
97. Empress Of “When I’m With Him”
96. Sting & Shaggy “Gotta Get Back My Baby”
95. Dusk “Leaf”
94. Big Freedia “Rent”
93. Lil Xan & Charli XCX “Moonlight”
92. Cazzu “Chapiadora”
91. Silk City, GoldLink & Desiigner “Loud”
90. Ariana Grande “Breathin”
89. Slipknot “All Out Life”
88. Cut Chemist “Moonlightin’ With Biz”
87. Greta Van Fleet “Highway Tune”
86. Gouge Away “Only Friend”
85. Dilly Dally “Marijuana”
84. E-40 f/ Vince Staples & G Perico “Ain’t Talking Bout Nothin”
83. Rico Nasty “Ice Cream”
82. Turnstile “Bomb” / “I Don’t Wanna Be Blind”
81. Stefflon Don “Lil Bitch”
80. MNEK “Tongue”
79. Tenement “Garden of Secrecy”
78. Flasher “Pressure”
77. Nicki Minaj “Barbie Dreams”
76. DRAM “Best Hugs”
75. Lizzo “Boys”
74. Kim Petras “Heart to Break”
73. Drake “In My Feelings”
72. Terry “Bureau”
71. Charli XCX “5 In The Morning”
70. Andrew WK “You’re Not Alone”
69. Jean Grae & Quelle Chris “Gold Purple Orange”
68. Melody’s Echo Chamber “Breathe In, Breathe Out”
67. Big Ups “PPP”
66. Jo Passed “MDM”
65. Aphex Twin “T69 Collapse”
64. Stove “Duckling Fantasy”
63. Young Thug f/ Elton John “High”
62. Bas & A$AP Ferg “Boca Raton”
61. Vince Staples “FUN!”
60. Migos “Stir Fry”
59. Bat Fangs “Wolfbite”
58. Teenage Wrist “Swallow”
57. 2 Chainz f/ YG & Offset “Proud”
56. Mason Ramsey “Famous”
55. Broods “Peach”
54. Kali Uchis f/ Steve Lacy “Just a Stranger”
53. Candy “Good To Feel”
52. Ella Mai “Trip”
51. Kero Kero Bonito “If I’d Known”
50. Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats “Shockwave City”
49. Lil B “YCFMB”
48. No Age “Send Me”
46. Rico Nasty “Counting Up”
45. Famous Dex “Ridin Thru”
44. Nicki Minaj “Chun Li”
43. The Glow “Beamer”
42. Kodak Black “When Vultures Cry”
41. Lil Yachty f/ Ugly God “BOOM!”
40. Kendrick Lamar & SZA “All The Stars”
39. Ariana Grande “God Is A Woman”
38. Lil Peep “Runaway”
37. Robyn “Honey”
36. Courtney Barnett “Need a Little Time”
35. Carly Rae Jepsen “Party For One”
34. Adrianne Lenker “Symbol”
33. Lil Wayne f/ Swizz Beatz “Uproar”
32. Unknown Mortal Orchestra “American Guilt”
31. Flasher “Material”
30. Kayne West & Lil Pump “I Love It”
29. Kim Petras “I Don’t Want It At All”
28. Pig Destroyer “Mt. Skull”
27. Zedd & Maren Morris “The Middle”
26. Mariah Carey “GTFO”
25. Parquet Courts “Wide Awake”
24. Beach House “Lemon Glow”
23. Rae Sremmurd f/ Pharrell “Chanel”
22. Bruno Mars f/ Cardi B “Finesse (Remix)”
21. Windhand “Red Cloud”
20. Bali Baby “Backseat”
19. Migos f/ Drake “Walk It Talk It”
18. Paramore “Caught In The Middle”
17. Pusha T “If You Know You Know”
16. Rosalia “Malamente”
15. Weezer “Africa”
14. Jay Rock, Kendrick Lamar, Future & James Blake “King’s Dead”
13. Ariana Grande “Thank U Next”
12. Cardi B f/ Bad Funny & J Balvin “I Like It”
11. Rae Sremmurd f/ Juicy J “Powerglide”
10. Mitski “Nobody”
09. Childish Gambino “This Is America”
08. Flasher “Who’s Got Time?”
07. Kali Uchis f/ Tyler The Creator “After The Storm”
06. Ella Mai “Boo’d Up”
05. Valee f/ Jeremih “Womp Womp”
04. Windhand “Grey Garden”
03. Sheck Wes “Mo Bamba”
02. Kacey Musgraves “High Horse”
01. Ariana Grande “No Tears Left To Cry”

Friday, January 4, 2019

Wiz Vids 2018: The Big Big Big Big List

TOP 10:
#10: Stefflon Don “Lil Bitch”
#9: Ariana Grande "breathin"
#8: 2 Chainz f/ YG & Offset “Proud”
#7: Kanye West & Lil Pump f/ Adele Givens "I Love It"
#6: Rosalia “Malamente”
#5: Tenement “Garden of Secrecy”
#4: Lil Yachty f/ Ugly God "BOOM!"
#3: Pig Destroyer “Mt. Skull”
#2: Sheck Wes “Mo Bamba”
#1: Flasher "Material"
#0: Childish Gambino "This Is America"

Honorable Mentions:
Famous Dex "Ridin Thru"
Broods "Peach"

Crack Cloud "Uncanny Valley"
Little Big “Skibidi”
Sting & Shaggy “Gotta Get Back My Baby”

For Fun:
DJ Burn "He's My President"
Candy “Good To Feel”
Three Knee Deep (Full Set) at FYA Fest 2018
Peste Noire "Aristocrasse"
Melody’s Echo Chamber “Breathe In, Breathe Out”
Connan Mockasin "Charlotte's Thong"

Wiz Vids 2018 #0: Childish Gambino "This Is America"

This website granted a #0 one other time in 2015 for Kendrick Lamar's "Alright." It's a special award for videos deemed as culturally important that have already been discussed by literally every other web source in existence. Combining elaborately intricate camera movement and choreography with acutely bleak social commentary, "This Is America" rests at a crossroads of "Alright" and another video directed by Hiro Murai; Flying Lotus & Kendrick's "Never Stop Me" fit the same #0 criteria but felt dope enough to become our #1 video of 2014. "This Is America" is now by far Hiro Murai's most popular work to date and prompted Billboard magazine to (incorrectly) label 2018 the dawn of a new music video golden age.

Thursday, January 3, 2019

Wiz Vids 2018 #1: Flasher "Material"

Did you fall for the troll at 0:20? We sure did, but that's partially because we had actual IRL trouble with our modem signal dropping. Several phonecalls later, Xfinity cancelled our tech visit's 12PM-5PM arrival window claiming all service had been restored, only to leave us staring once again at Flasher frozen in mid-rockage. "Material" is like one of those tweets or Facebook posts where someone loudly complains about how much they hate the extremely free platform they're using to speak to everyone who is reading. We are guilty of this. Because all of them suck. But they're also amazing. Everyone in 1998 who said "the internet is evil" was right. Everyone in 2009 who said "Facebook is evil" was harrowingly on point. And the cycle continues...

Wiz Vids 2018 #2: Sheck Wes “Mo Bamba”

Like Young Thug's video that placed #1 last year, here's a hiphop clip owing much of its dopeness to IRL circumstances. In a Fader Q&A from last summer, Sheck Wes casually mentions how he used to steal ankle braces from a Modell's in downtown Manhattan. Whether it was staged, the injury aspect might strike a personal chord for Wes. For others, it's 2018's equivalent of Andrew WK's wheelchair-bound performance at the 2003 Spike Videogame Awards crossed with the final explosive minute of the "Smells Like Teen Spirit" video. Most video directors would have left it at that and called it a day, but they upped the ante opting to fuse an additional narrative that kinda looked like Darren Aronofsky's Pi - similar dramatic lighting, shot in grainy black & white. All of this would be meaningless if "Mo Bamba" wasn't among the hottest jams of the year.

Wiz Vids 2018 #3: Pig Destroyer “Mt. Skull”

Since the turn of the decade, many have requested these exact proceedings during their own funeral ceremony. After recreating each specificity, Pig Destroyer threw in the extra bonus of launching the dearly departed toward the ascension of Tony Hawk Pro Skater Heaven. "Mt. Skull" is ultimately a very happy video, since Pro Skater is where all the good people go when they die despite achieving 0 out of 62 life goals.

Wiz Vids 2018 #4: Lil Yachty f/ Ugly God "BOOM!"

There's a lot to love in this video, but the kids have left over 100 comments about the moment at 1:41. So let's just focus on that for now.

Wiz Vids 2018 #5: Tenement “Garden of Secrecy”

Milwaukee legend Mark Borchardt's follow-up to his 1997 horror short Coven could still wrap anytime now. The delayed completion of Northwestern (in production since 2000) and Scare Me (in production since 2004) hopefully received some motivational juice circa-2014 after a few unexpected Borchardt-directed music promos crept onto YouTube (including videos for Big D and the Kids Table and Tapebenders). Around the same time about 80 miles west in Madison, Wisconsin, Tenement were adding the finishing touches to their double-LP Predatory Headlights. It's unclear whether the "Garden Of Secrecy" video was intended to premiere before the album dropped in June 2015, but Borchardt's charmingly classic perfectionism kept the video unfinished for over three years, finally premiering this past August. It was worth the wait.

Wiz Vids 2018 #6: Rosalia “Malamente”

The video directing collective CANADA peaked in 2010 with the explosive and groundbreaking clip for El Guincho's "Bombay" - probably still the best music video from this entire decade by anyone. Knowing the way blogs operate today, we're certain it won't appear as the CANADA pick in many "Best Videos of the Decade" lists throughout 2019 in favor of Rosalia's "Malamente" - their 2nd best video to date for yet another exhilarating Spanish-language song. Perhaps CANADA should consider a future exclusively aligning these types of songs with rapidly intricate imagery.

Wiz Vids 2018 #7: Kayne West & Lil Pump f/ Adele Givens “I Love It”

Spike Jonze did not direct "I Love It," but he did design the concept and has been credited as "Executive Producer," whatever that means. 2018 was a year that desperately needed this flavor of striking weirdness, but a true Spike-directed video might have felt a lot less incomplete, appropriately matching Kanye's half-finished song.