Can't think of shit to say.
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| All 200 Songs |
130. Paramore "Hard Times" / New Found Glory “The Sound Of Two Voices”
They'll be no accusations; just friendly crustaceans. It wasn't until after hearing the NFG song that we realized "Hard Times" was the "Smells Like Teen Spirit" of the long overdue "Under The Sea"-core alt-genre. This might help explain why someone is currently selling used copies of Sebastian The Crab's CD on Amazon for $49.99 plus shipping. Grab 'em while they're hot. ("Emo Island adventures" had already been applied to 2009's Where The Wild Things Are film.) "Hard Times":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEB6ibtdPZc
"The Sound Of Two Voices":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiwkQ7GsCP4
129. Carly Rae Jepsen “Cut To The Feeling”
After this appeared at #1 on SPIN's "Best of 2017 so far" list back in June 2017, the FOMO vibes were strong. We love CRJ and wanted to cut to that feeling that apparently affected every one of her fans except for us. After subsequent scrobbles between July and December, it still sounds like an E•MO•TION non-album track that went under the knife, conforming to board-room notes and dozens of mixing revisions determined by data analysis. The soul in Carly Rae's music has a lot to do with her production decisions, which are largely absent here. It's a fine enough song, and it probably could have been the lead single of E•MO•TION: Side B. But fans likely would have pushed it out of any best of 2015 or 2016 lists due to vote splitting. (That's not to say that iHeartRadio didn't fail by ignoring it, which they did.)NOTE: We would have tied this with her "It Takes Two" cover with Lil Yachty had it been recorded just for fun and not for the purpose of a literal Target commercial.
128. Jay-Z “Marcy Me”
The most dependable setting for Jay-Z's eternal GOAT status might be Nets games at Barclay Center. For an entire season of hoops, you're guaranteed to hear "Brooklyn's Finest" into "99 Problems" into "I Just Wanna Love You" night after night. The 2nd most played artist at Barclay is Beyonce (duh), although in both instances, you're not likely to hear any hits from either artists' most recent supposedly classic LPs. "Marcy Me" is the one track on 4:44 that maybe/possibly could have been on Reasonable Doubt (with different lyrics), but even this album standout would sound awkward played between "Single Ladies" and "Can I Get A." Both artists are cool with us, but the standom has gotten a little out of hand. Lemonade is not album of the decade and is not the 6th best album ever made by women. It's not even among Beyonce's 3 best albums, and was barely among the 10 best R&B albums of 2016. Its stans are attracted to the idea of Lemonade. Both this record and 4:44 (Jay-Z's 7th best by our count) sound like albums from beloved aging/legacy artists who run their own streaming service and don't need support from radio to be successful. Has anyone else grown suspicious that Tidal exclusives have been nominated for "Album Of The Year" Grammys two years in a row?? 127. Gnarwhal “Marathon Ripper”
126. Julia Michael “Uh Huh”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5X-8hcTwJ40
125. Kendrick Lamar f/ U2 “XXX. FEAT. U2.”
Why doesn't it just say "Featuring Bono?" Does it make sense to feature U2 as a group when 3 of the 4 members probably didn't even know this song was ever recorded until a month after the album dropped? (When this song was performed at the Grammys with both U2 as a band alongside Dave Chappelle, this might have been a good opportunity for Dave to reprise Black Gallagher and ask the crowd "Where are the weapons of mass destruction? Where are the other members of U2??" And then have Larry Mullen Jr and The Edge just randomly show up behind Dave. Sounds like a viral moment to us. Seems like everyone involved had a funny feeling this TV event would justify the song title. We also accept that it's way more badass for Kendrick to drop a new record with a "featuring U2" tag as opposed to a "featuring Bono." Granted, one of those just looks way cooler than the other.) DAMN. is not a dance record or a hiphop record or a "Rap" record in the classic sense. DAMN. is art-rap. No one was throwing on DAMN. at the summer 2017 BBQ, whereas summer 2016 you could have taken your pick from TLOP, YG, Schoolboy Q, Anti or like 7 others that we're forgetting about. We ended up scrobbling "XXX. FEAT. U2." a lot more than the rest of DAMN., so we included it here.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKVZqKVJgJ4
124. Palehound “Flowing Over”
Air guitar competitions are back.
123. Maneka “Dracula (feat. Katie Capri)”
122. Omar Souleyman “Behdemi Nami”
Psychedelic as fuck. Mad drugs. Fuck Phish. Jerry’s dead. Omar is life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jlu1XyPexn8
121. Mac Demarco “My Old Man”
120. Nelly Furtado “Cold Hard Truth”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ebt0AQfrB7k
119. Palberta “Trick Ya” / Palberta "Jaws"
The Palberta experience bubbles and blobs itself even further through the murk. The creature from the black lagoon has no reason to be afraid of Jaws. Search: Destroy All Monsters, Captain Beefhart, Teenage Jesus and the Jerks. Destroy: Early '70s supergroups like Emerson Lake & Palmer or whatever.
118. Lil B “Global (feat. Ilovemakonnen)”
Lil B is usually most brilliant on his own. His infrequent collaborations (with artists like Soulja Boy and Chance) are typically not as buzzed as his solo material. (He's reportedly been cooking up some hits with Lil Wayne, and and we have our hopes up for a Lil Yachty collab mixtape). So when we spotted a collaboration with novelty/one-hit-wonder artist Ilovemakonnen among the seven preview tracks leaked back in July 2017, we were rightfully concerned. But rest assured, "Global" is a true album and career highlight for both artists. No worries over here. Keep that party alive.117. Ride “Charm Assault”
Nu-gaze doesn't sound as enormous as classic shoegaze. We have lots of notes on this song that don't make any sense, so we'll just stop there.
116. Quicksand “Illuminant”
115. Thundercat f/ Michael McDonald & Kenny Loggins “Show You The Way”
In the hypothetical universe where MTV still hosts semi-annual "Top 100" or "Top 200" or "Top 500" all-time countdown marathons, would unexplained millennial love of random '80s hits make any major splashes? Back in 1995, the top 20 would typically include stuff like "Sledgehammer," "Vogue," "Take On Me," "Jeremy," "November Rain" and "Thriller." But would "Don't Stop Believing" crash the top 20 in 2007? Would "Never Gonna Give You Up" sneak in around #95 in 2009? Would a more recent countdown make room for "Africa" awkwardly between Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" and Beyonce's "Single Ladies?"And would these lists reflect Pitchfork's recent half-admirable half-bizarre attempt at re-writing the canon with newfound love for Michael McDonald's "I Keep Forgetting?" How intensely would the re-purposing of uncool hipster irony shake up the MTV canon?
We'll probably never know. Demand from investors is too intense. Capitalism destroyed everything. Is there no bigger waste of airtime in the past decade than the months (and possibly years) worth of Ridiculousness marathons (a show that literally no one watches)? Considering the strong Twitter and social media reaction to events like The Grammys and the VMAs, one would think a marathon MTV event hosted live with an all time top 500 would generate some major trends. Wouldn't this be ideal programming for MTV Classic? Somewhere, some major investor in MTV must REALLY hate the concept of music television.
Literally zero people would complain if MTV started airing a Top 20 Video Countdown every Friday from 8PM to 10PM. Viewers would engage in a TRL countdown every weekday from 3PM to 5PM. Music exposure needs a comeback. The return of minor hits would create shifts in the Spotify algorithm. Many of the artists on Straight Fire Mix 2017 probably would have had videos on regular-ass MTV by now. Festival line-ups would get stronger. The gradual homogenization of every radio genre might shift towards more unfamiliar territory.
MTV knows how powerful they are. Their behavior is deliberate. They want to piss us off. They don't want to break smaller bands. Burn the fucking place down already. Fight the real enemy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EF4_ExlwLgc
114. Mount Eerie “Real Death”
113. Charly Bliss “Black Hole”
112. Yo Gotti f/ Nicki Minaj “Rake It Up”
111. Charlotte Gainsbourg “Deadly Valentine”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkyIVKbCfG8
110. Ovlov “Halfway Fine (Live at Little Elephant)”
Ovlov is back yo. New album June 2018. Catch it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFcSwMnQHig
109. Broken Social Scene “Halfway Home”
2007-revival: an era no one wants to hear again remembering an era that sucked. Standard normy late 2000s indie will occasionally sneak in here though. Like, who remembers The Morning Benders or Here We Go Magic or Hooray For Earth? Anyone? We used to place these around #48, but now we know better.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGxERK4clw4
108. Alex G “Powerful Man”
107. Lil Yachty “FYI (Know Now)”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kS0LIC2ON_w
106. Kamasi Washington “Truth”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtW1S5EbHgU
105. Brockhampton “Boogie”
The first two editions of SATURATION didn't especially impress us, so perhaps our expectations were low when Brockhampton (a.k.a. "The other Odd Future" if Odd Future were made up of 14 indistinguishably bland rap personalities) dropped Saturation III during yet another musically rich December. The lead single "Boogie" was almost good enough to sneak into our Top 100, if only the beat didn't remind us of some goofy fake-edgy mid-'90s sitcom a la Sinbad or Mad TV or Hangin' With Mr. Cooper or like The Edge or something. It sounds like "Fox Thursday Night." [EDIT: Goddamnit.]104. Homeshake “Every Single Thing”
103. Yaeji "Drink I'm Sippin' On"
Whoops. Pretend this one was like #35.
102. Grandaddy “That’s What You Get for Gettin’ Outta Bed”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECIuz_WHCZA
101. Real Estate “Darling”
This was a tough call. Had circumstances been less upsetting, the strength of "Darling" would likely have placed it within our Top 40. But even on shitty unremembered blogs like this one, it's illegal to place this in any "top 100 of 2017" list. As a compromise, even #101 feels very wrong. Real Estate def need to call it a day. If they continue without sex offender bro, they not only risk angering people even more, but clickbait-opportunist "music journalists" won't hesitate for a second to capitalize on other people's trauma even more than they already have. St*r**g*m has essentially evolved into TMZ for indie-music bros. Attempts to rebrand using the same name with or without problematic band mates will definitely not go unnoticed. Choose your next move wisely.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdJlikg8roU
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| All 200 Songs |
On September 7, 1977, David Bowie taped a performance of "Heroes" on the sixth and final episode of Marc, a weekly musical variety show hosted by Marc Bolan. (
The origins of "Graduate and Congratulate" begin years before Ovlov in the band Home Movies, when Stove was influenced by the chill, summery beachy-ness of "The Game Of Love" by Santana featuring Michelle Branch (written by Gregg Alexander from The New Radicals). An unrelated aside, we really need to get our hands on a couple of those Boner Pedals we've been hearing so much about. The kids are abuzz; "Nothing Beats A Boner," they say. We've heard nothing but good things, and probably at least 20 of the bands in Lit As Fuck Mix 2016 really do use them. Not kidding. (This is an unpaid advertisement, by the way. Boner didn't ask us to write this. We were running out of steam, and this picture of Boner on Stove's Facebook page felt inspiring.) These peds make every guitar sound like Jesus Christ himself were shredding from the top of the highest mountain. World Class craftsmanship, hand-made, custom pedals built by Boner. Give em a big old phonecall right now today. Your one-stop shop for all the peds. 
Get ready for some nasty air guitar. "Redline" had the catchiest, most exciting, most urgent and probably overall best guitar solo of the year. Geronimo's split in 2014 seemed like a huge bummer at the time. But the split seems to have inspired newfound musical freedom unlocking what's probably been their most prolific era to date. Every 5 or 6 months, it seems they have a new project with names like Milked or Future Biff. Nothing's changed. Everything's changed. 
Demons celebrate from deep in the fiery pits of hell. Belly-laughing for hours on end like they just saw Charlie Murphy's "Rick James" sketch for the first time after a series of heavy bong rips, 100,000 crudely shitty little creatures resembling the Iz's from The Maxx surround souls getting drawn-and-quartered in a coliseum setting, busting their guts as the helpless are sucked into the vortex of infinite purgatory.
On Palberta's previous records, their surrealist elements were an undercurrent. The dreaminess was not as blatant and was only mildly present among their most childlike tendencies, whereas now surrealism seems to have taken over their music completely. They're shooting to unlock the unconscious thoughts of the listener in a hugely conceptual multi-layered blueprint that listeners may partially grasp but can probably only be truly understood by the three songwriters. If their discography (up to this point) represents a linear trajectory aligning with basic human rite-of-passage type moments, "Ode To Honey" is the era when someone might first discover mushrooms - at one with nature and with a renewed sense of perspective.
Boekner's original solo version of "Floating World" never received an official release, but it did appear in 
Return To Cookie Mountain is her favorite album (probably). At this point, her stans are ready and loyal enough to follow her to the edge of Hades or balls deep into a completely avant-garde era that will be best understood 15 years from now. We have our hopes up that Anti was her Low and that her next two albums are Rihanna's equivalent to the Berlin trilogy (preferably with Dave Sitak as her Brian Eno).
"We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold." Sometimes it's better to just release control and just let everything happen around you. And perhaps the anti-solo in "Baby in the Backroom" is where you'll be led, into a kaleidoscope of multiplying soda cans leaning into single guitar strings suspended in the air, getting plucked by twenty different hands that are now possibly surrounding all 360 degrees around you. It's strangely the moment of zen within PC Worship's Social Rust - the center of that album's see-saw. The off-pitch vocals on either side of this solo represent the human element, so flawed and mesmerizing and genuine. 
Rare breed: An experimental rock band with three vocalist-songwriters who not only all switch off guitar, bass, and drums (in addition to whatever other odd sounds they might be throwing into their records) but who also present themselves as a true singular unit. Granted, thousands of high school bands can say the same. But there's 2 key differences: #1, Palberta is deliberate and self-aware - lofi, but NOT outsider-music. And #2, most importantly, they fucking slay. As noted earlier, they also insert recurring themes into their songs, like when the first minute-and-change of "Susan" reprises 
Bieber, Tay Sway, 1D, Selena G. They've recently been joined by Ariana in that special millennial category of "perpetual teens." When 
"Swiftly 'bout to stick a sweet dick in your sweetheart / Then get some groceries off my geeker EBT card." Okay, so we're actually confused by this one line because the only dinner groceries Gibbs could buy with a junkie's stolen EBT card would be like a box of Mac & Cheese, or something that can be cooked on the stove, unless the girlfriend just wants like some Reece's Eggs and Pringles, in which case he's all set. "And it feels so good, and it feels so right." We thought he might be expressing sarcasm here, as if he's been in the game so long and knows thug-life backwards but also "getting too old for this shit" like Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon. Either way, Gibbs remains on-point all throughout Piñata, rivaling the finest 
A recent 
You know when the fuse on a stick of dynamite is long enough that you can watch the sparks as they make their way up to the explosive kaboom? That's basically the first 15 seconds of this song. Dope vocal effects and nicely toned distorted bass ride out the verses as they lead in and out of the noisefuck choruses. We spoke briefly with Devin and Andy from "The GIG" to discuss arguably the most immediate moment on Vacation Vinny.
Face the portal. An entry into the unknown. Step inside. Stand still if you'd like; the conveyor belt will do the walking for you. As chain smoking Sam-Well Jackson in Jurassic Park would say, "hold onto your butts." If the walls start moving around, stare at them longer. Shit gets darker and darker until it's pitch black, and then the chorus hits. Suddenly, the surrounding tunnel turns neon dark-green with pink and yellow flying everywhere. Don't go in too deep though. It's possible that this whole time you were driving in the summer rain at 3AM. Or maybe that's the only part of this that ISN'T real. Whatever you do, don't wake up.
Remembering the first time we saw the album cover of Al Green's Greatest Hits (reissued on CD, over 20 years after its release date). We couldn't help but ask outloud, "What the fuck ever happened to guys like this?" D'Angelo seems to have agreed with this sentiment. It wouldn't be untrue to call Black Messiah a handbook of soul music history written by D'Angelo himself, taking each of those giants and expanding on their sounds - sometimes combining two giants into one song, but also presented in a fresh light that's entirely starring D'Angelo. "The Charade" and "Really Love" are the calm after the storm closing Side A (along with "Sugah Daddy"). It's the section of the album that feels most similar to Marvin Gaye's What's Going On or Al Green's Call Me. "Charade's" closing harmonies are the second coming of Prince and the Revolution. (Or it's the closest we've come ever since.) After years of floating around online, the final version of "Really Love" came out gorgeous enough that it was completely worth all the wait, without a single wasted moment in its 2-minute solo-guitar intro.
The car's facing the edge of the cliff. Does he shift to drive? Does he hit the gas? "Rice and Bones" is Disco Doom's finest exercise in restraint, slowly and painfully building into a Mogwai-style wall of blazing chaos. It's a 5-minute structural palindrome of sorts. Starting quietly pensive, it slowly builds without revealing too much, with appropriately few lyrics sung quietly from Gabriele De Mario, until it reaches the inevitable devastatingly crushing center. There's some more lyrics here also, but the blaze is so high that his voice is lost among the wreckage. It grows, it peaks, and then it fades again, returning to normalcy, never deviating from its 5-bar chord structure. It's so strange how simplicity can sometimes transmit universal emotion so effectively. The picture speaks a thousand words.
In case there was any doubt, Skateboard P wins this contest. "Frequency high, like a spaceship." Pharrell, don't you dare ever hold back on those references to aliens and outer space. His verse is so good that it's almost unfair, making the surrounding verses seem comparatively embarrassing. Casino takes a distant 2nd place, closing out the song with some amusing hype-man insanity. Future's verse is basically all feeling and rhythm. It might take the average listener MANY attempts before deciphering what mush-mouth might be attempting to articulate. Pusha T enunciates well enough, but by the time he's done it starts to feel phoned-in. (No worries though. Pharrell steers us back on course mere seconds later.) Had it not been for the glaringly uneven vocal performances, "Move That Dope" would have been a safe bet for our Top 3, despite that it's very easy to overlook this flaw thanks to Mike Will Made It's ferocious beat (possibly the sickest of 2014) and that brilliantly contagious hook. Shit's unstoppable.
Insane David Lynch Posse. Flat Eric probably loves this song. If you don't know who 
Palberta has lots of songs about going to the store. Two of these are tied here. This makes us wonder, what exactly is going on at this special "store" that keeps them coming back for more? Is it a product or a person? Is it neither? Is it both? It's all very cryptic and mysterious. One might notice the triangle in their live presentation suspiciously resembling the Illuminati symbol. The looseness in their musicianship seems to drastically counter-balance and mask meticulous craftsmanship. We refused to believe all those minor-2nds and diminished triads just miraculously ended up in their songs by accident, as if mom dropped them off at daycare that morning and within seconds they all looked at each other and decided "let's do a band" and all at once they ran into the kitchen pulled out some pots and pans and Marshall halfstacks and started screaming "I WENT TO THE STORE" in unison. They won't even crack a smile within their live setting - not unless it's been written into whatever song they're playing. And they have choreography! We usually hate choreography in rock music, but Palberta is the exception. Go team dissonance.
Breaking news: We got the final word from Sam Rosenberg, Matt Gatwood and Andy Chervenak about "Black Fridge Area." What we learned may shock you.
We're bummed that it took us until this far down the road to realize that the title of Geromimo!'s demo cassette series 
After Mary Timony spent decades dabbling in ass-kicking renaissance-influenced math rock, who knew she had it in her to dream up so many flawless power-pop gems? Did Mary even know? We sometimes get the impression that she doesn't know her own strength. Her latest batch rivals all the giants of late '70s garage and power-pop: The Undertones, Blondie, Joan Jett and Buzzcocks. It's been years since THIS kind of album has sounded THIS good. Track 1, Side 1. Start with the big hit. "Like Motown used to do." (Wasn't that in the liner-notes for 
"What's that one that's like 'Bang Clang Pow?'" "Boom Clap" initially felt lost in the haze of faceless summer hits not long after it got linked into the promotion for 
It might not be fair to tag "Special Snowflakes" as Pile's "Stairway to Heaven." We'll instead reserve that honor for 