Thursday, February 9, 2017


Yo, snow day. No school tomorrow.

On Friday, February 3, 2017, Bandcamp announced a fundraiser where they donated all their 1-day profit to ACLU. Had this list been finished in time, a few folks might have considered it a good companion to their campaign. (32 of the 60 albums below are displayed with Bandcamp embeds.) But alas, life has been way shittier than usual. TMK has been given the mega-shaft. Lit Mix 2016 will happen eventually, but it probably won't be complete until the end of February.

"Albums of the year" lists are pretty much the same as data entry if you think about it. Just a lot of typing and html coding.

We realized that we've personally referenced our own "albums of the year" posts from 2012-2015 many times throughout the past year, and it would just be stupid to not do another one, even though we don't really want to do this at all.

We enjoy all of these albums a lot, and we're pretty sure that these really actually are our favorite albums of 2016.

60. Weezer Weezer

There is only one "The White Album" and this is not it. "White Albums" are supposed to be longer than typical releases and contain some sort of "Revolution 9" - an experimental freak-out, usually reserved for Side 4. Weezer has officially broken a new record: The most amount of times a band has instructed their fans on how to nickname their own self-titled albums, like that one super-douchey theater kid from high school who told kids to call him a nickname that he made up himself. Weezer is definitely their best since Maladroit tho. A quick side note, however: We've grown very attached to the idea of "Thief, You've Taken All That Was Me" and "Let's Sew Our Pants Together" getting excluded from every album, every b-side, every deluxe edition, every commercially available rarities collection, or any of Rivers' Alone demo collections despite that they are the two best Weezer songs that have ever happened. The best possible time to monetize either song has officially passed. Let's keep it this way.

59. Good Morning Glory

"Gentlemen, good night; ladies, good morning." No, Just Timb. You lose.

58. Horse Jumper Of Love Horse Jumper Of Love

Take my hand with your glove of love.

57. Rae Sremmurd Sremmlife 2

The Panic Attack Challenge.

56. Foodman Ez Minzoku

Every time we go to the Wendy's truckstop down the street, they're always pumping Foodman on the muzak. We know everyone who works at this particular Wendy's is card carrying member of the KISS Army (plus their general manager is Tom Hamilton from Aerosmith), but the muzak never deviates from this one Foodman LP. We blame subliminal hypnosis.

55. Soft Fangs The Light

When they start curating the next Twilight soundtrack, now you know who to call.

54. Lumpy & The Dumpers Huff My Sack

That's fucking gross dude.

53. A Giant Dog Pile

Whenever we're at the puppy rescue shelter, we tend to prefer those fluffy little bundles of joy. But how often is a dog made of shit gonna cross your path? Sure, why not, right? Let's go for it.

52. Vince Staples Prima Donna

Fun Fact: Madonna has nothing to do with this album.

51. The I Don’t Cares Wild Stab

Juliana Hatfield, Paul Westerberg and Josh Freese were all just bummin' around one lazy weekend. Driving up and down, all over the road. And then one of them was like, "hey, let's do a band," and the other two were like, "okay, sure." This is the result.

50. Snail Mail Habit

"Take this THING back to Baltimore."

49. Big Thief Masterpiece

Chief Keef / Big Thief stadium tour kicks off this June. (Might wanna buy tickets early for this because it WILL sell out.)

48. Fond Han SHAM CLOUD

On February 7, 2009, Offer Shlomi, better known as Vince Offer, Vince Shlomi, or "The ShamWow Guy," was arrested in Miami Beach, Florida on a charge of felony battery after an altercation with a 26-year-old prostitute. Offer contended that he struck the prostitute when she "bit his tongue and would not let go." Prosecutors later declined to file formal charges against either person.

47. Stove Is A Toad In The Rain

An incomplete gathering of fictional toads throughout history:
1. Ed Bighead from Rocko's Modern Life
2. Dat Boi from Dat Boi
3. Slippy Toad from Starfox
4. Hypnotoad from Futurama
5. Winky from Donky Kong Country
6. Mr. Toad from The Wind In The Willows
7. Wart from Super Mario Brothers 2
8. Robin, Kermit's nephew on The Muppet Show
9. Dig'Em from the Honey Smacks commercials
Thank you and have a lovely day.

46. Brujeria Pocho Aztlan

This is our equivalent to the millennial "participation trophy." Any band from the Gummo soundtrack immediately receives placement just by releasing anything. It's worked out nicely so far.

45. PJ Harvey The Hope Six Demolition Project

Fun Fact: All 77 drummers from Boredoms' 7/7/07 concert in Brooklyn performed on this album.

44. Horse Lords Interventions

That last episode of Bojack Horselord made us weep. Can't we just get happy already?

43. Big Ups Before A Million Universes

You mad cause their style you're admiring. Don't be mad; UPS is hiring.

42. KING We Are KING


41. Good Willsmith Things Our Bodies Used To Have

Bodies our things use to have. Things our haves used to body.

40. Swim Team Swim Team

"Come again? I got swimmer's ear." - The band Swim Team

39. Nails You Will Never Be One of Us

No you.

38. Sad13 Slugger

Sometimes also known as sELf13.

37. Sun Organ People In The Distance In The Dark


36. Jute Gyte Perdurance

Eliphas Levi's Sabbatic Goat (known as The Goat of Mendes or Baphomet) has become one of the most common symbols of Satanism.

35. Radiohead A Moon Shaped Pool

Would have placed higher if there was more Colin and more Jonny G guitar. "But waa, we dun like guitars no more." Quit your yappin' and let this be a lesson to you.

34. Schoolboy Q Blank Face LP

Still no MC Hammer cameos. Can we do something about this?

33. Deerhoof The Magic

Greg Saunier walks into a bar and says "LOOOOOOOOOL."

32. Death’s Dynamic Shroud.wmv CLASSROOM SEXXTAPE


31. Cavern Of Anti-Matter Void Beats/Invocation Trex

Stereolab, come back. We miss you.

30. Two Inch Astronaut Personal Life

Major jingjings.


Bill walks into a Subway "Eat Fresh" shop and says "I'll have the usual." At this particular Subway, "the usual" is what Bill calls 70 5-Dollar Footlongs (which is how he came to be known as "70 5-Dollar Bill"). How much more would Bill have to spend if he were tasked with traveling back in time to assist George Washington, by making a "bridge of sandwiches" across the Delaware River? (Assume that the bridge needs to be 10,000 feet across.)
a) $50,000
a) $49,650
b) 79 feet
d) clown feet

28. Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein Stranger Things, Vol. 1

We're big fans of this album's centerpiece and crowning achievement, "Toothless Shreds Some Gnarly Yngvie Solos: Parts 1, 2 & 3."

27. Gucci Mane Everybody Looking

Gucci is back on the attack.

26. Kvelertak Nattesferd

Party til you puke.

25. Margaret Glaspy Emotions and Math

Math is cooler than emojis tho.

24. Joey Purp iiiDrops

Purp is a recreational drink popular in the Southern United States whose main ingredients originally consisted of some type of prescription cough syrup containing codeine and promethazine, and either soda or fruit juice. Recently, the term has expanded to cover mixtures including over-the-counter cough syrup and vodka in place of prescription cough syrup.

23. Peaer Peaer

Fucking This Peaer.

22. Animal Collective Painting With

Bob Ross used the wet-on-wet oil painting technique, in which the painter continues adding paint on top of still-wet paint rather than waiting a lengthy amount of time to allow each layer of paint to dry. Combining the wet painting method with the use of large one- and two-inch brushes, as well as painting knives, allowed Ross to paint trees, clouds, mountains, and water in a matter of seconds. Each painting would start with simple strokes that appeared as nothing more than smudges of color. As he added more and more strokes, the blotches would transform into intricate landscapes.

21. Solange A Seat at the Table

The new Badu. (Or one might call her "Erykah Bad-new." Does that work? It resembles "bad news" too closely so no. lol guess not.)

20. Ty Dolla $ign Campaign

Campaign for my real friends and real pain for my cam friends.

19. Noname Telefone

We just noticed the Parental Advisory tag in the upper right hand corner (of a self-released mixtape). Nicely done.

18. Chris Weisman Hi

Suh dude.

17. Sumerlands Sumerlands

Suhmerlands, dude.

16. Carly Rae Jepsen E•MO•TION Side B

Call Me Scabies.

15. CupcakKe Cum Cake

Which is a better rapper name: Big Cummy Cake or Lil Cummy Cake?

14. Wormed Krighsu

13. Tweet Charlene

Something about Tweet's Twitter account having an ironic username.

12. CCR Headcleaner Tear Down The Wall

Turnt The Fuck Up.

11. Autolux Pussy's Dead

Conversation has run dry. That's what's goin' on.

10. Kanye West The Life of Pablo

The great thing about ranking Kanye's albums is there really is no wrong answer as long as you first take MBDTF and move it all the way to the bottom. So if you somehow ended up actually placing TLOP at #1, it's still correct as long as no other album places beneath MBDTF. We didn't write the rules.

09. Eric Copeland Black Bubblegum

Sup Eric.

08. Various Artists Sky Girl: Compiled by Julien Dechery and DJ Sundae

Keep watching the skis. I mean skies.

07. Surface To Air Missive A V

One year prior to the success of their #1 hit "The First Time" in 1990, Surface also scored huge with "Shower Me With Your Love," which reached #5 in 1989. 26 years later, Surface fans were bewildered upon learning that Surface To Air Missive is in fact not the same band.

06. Weaves Weaves

Weaves remembers those good times back in the '80s when 9 of an album's 11 songs were radio singles. Pack the album with hits. Classic formula.

05. Exploded View Exploded View

Tascam 388 Forever and Ever.

04. YG Still Brazy

Bannibal Borpse are huge YG fans.

03. David Bowie

In March 2005, physicist George Chapline claimed that quantum mechanics makes it a "near certainty" that black holes do not exist and are instead dark-energy stars.

02. A Tribe Called Quest We Got It from Here... Thank You 4 Your Service

The mic is in effect so you know I'm never stallin / Walkin through the door and all them suckers started haulin / Talk a lot of trash but no one can seem to beat it / Pull out your microphone and watch the Phifer make you eat it

01. Rihanna Anti

As in the Rihanna from Barbados. Yeah, that Rihanna. No, actually it's pronounced BAR-buh-dos. Rihanna told us so.