Monday, October 20, 2014

"I Am Lorde"

Good afternoon. Feelin' good on a Monday. We just watched the last two South Park episodes.

We didn't expect South Park to kill it so hard over the past four weeks, especially since the 2012 and 2013 episodes seemed to signal the beginning of a depressingly bleak era akin to every Simpsons episode that happened after 1998's "Lisa Gets An 'A'" (which many fans consider the final classic episode of The Simpsons).

But instead, Trey and Matt's first true extended hiatus (throughout the first half of 2014) seems to have allowed their creative engines to chill and rejuvenate. As a result, this has been their freshest string of episodes since at least 3 years ago.

We found it somewhat predictable that the 2013 season would contain at least one self-contained trilogy. Sure enough, episodes 7, 8 and 9 from last year included the unnecessarily stretched-out 3-episode arc inspired by Game Of Thrones - the one that essentially introduced the versions of the characters that appear in The Stick of Truth.

This time around, however, they seem to be allowing continuity to progress WITHOUT a self-contained mini-series. There's no "Part 2" or "Part 3." The 2nd episode picked up exactly where the first episode ended, and so on, but every episode is its own contained story. There are no cliffhangers, which may have assisted in giving the show an intriguing dopeness that hasn't felt as fresh since at least 2011, if not earlier.

Oh wait a sec... AV Club already wrote something about this, and reviewed it more eloquently than we just did:

See, this is why we don't have as much energy for posting here anymore. Everyone in the entire fucking universe has a blog now, and there's no interesting topics that haven't yet been discussed. (Even quick observations of ours as simple as the similarities between "Marvins Room" and Pinkerton have been getting expanded with fully illustrated annotations.)

Perhaps Hot Mix 2014 is the only reason we're still keeping this alive. Hot Mix is fun. The rest seems less fun at the moment. Whatever.

Three quick points about the South Park/Lorde connection:

#1 It seems like the whole reason why they ended up continuing the Lorde joke was to defend themselves against SPIN, who totally took the joke the wrong way and assumed Trey and Matt were anti-Lorde:
Despite that they're clearly bummed about SPIN, they actually gave the fated non-magazine their best publicity in years. What other sitcoms have actually mentioned SPIN anytime recently? And plus, Stan states that "Lorde is really good" in the follow-up episode, which appears to be Trey and Matt's official statement on whether or not they appreciated her as a pop star to begin with.

#2 The fans were into it, and their Lorde parody is now trending widely enough that the demand has yielded a full-length version:

#3 On a personal note, Lorde's huge hits have yet to stick in our heads. A LOT of people seem to really appreciate her music, and it's probably good once you allow the hooks to steep, although we have yet to recognize any hooks. The other day we heard Charli XCX's "Bang Pow Clang" or whatever it's called, and we were all like "this must be Lorde. Finally, we can say that we've heard and remembered a Lorde song, even though it's somewhat mediocre." But it wasn't Lorde. Maybe it will happen soon.

This feels like the opposite of what happened throughout 2001 and 2002 when we made a conscious effort to avoid Creed's "My Sacrifice," a song with actual strong hooks that we DID NOT want stuck in our heads. We wrote about these events pretty extensively a couple years back:

Thursday, October 16, 2014

"Never Catch Me"

We fucked up in our last post assuming that "Never Catch Me" was too good of a song for its video to reach our expectations... And yet here;s the video, and it's dope as fuck - possibly better than the song? Judge for yourself.

On a somewhat related note, we decided we've been reading Pitchfork too much lately, and so we're gonna take a break from reading it or acknowledging it for the next few months, unless someone tells us that something good has happened there. One specific essay that got posted lately kinda bummed us out, written by a musician who shall remain nameless. But yeah, we're done for now.

Monday, October 6, 2014

here's why the 2010s are a bad time for a Twin Peaks reboot

Because of fucking spoilers, that's why. Duh. If it won't be on TV until two years from now, then why did we need to know this today? So much can happen between now and 2016. The entire thing might get shitcanned for all we know.

2 or 3 or 8 or 13 months from now, we would really strongly prefer to not hear rumors about James Franco and Jonah Hill and McLovin being added to the extensive list of cameos or whatever the fuck. We don't want the internet buzz and our Facebook feeds ruining this for everyone, like how it ruined the finale of Dexter Season 4. What a bunch of bullshit that was. We don't want to know who will be in the cast or ANYTHING about the plot until we see the show for ourselves. Will Loglady be there? Let's find out in 2016.

It it oldtimer-talk to suggest that TV was better when Facebook feeds and competitive click-bait-worthy headlines didn't spoil literally everything? We want to walk into this series fresh, just like the first time around, without any expectations. The buzzy-headline of Lynch even working on production for this thing is a fucking spoiler in itself.

By the time this show actually happens, there will have been a solid decade with nothing new from David Lynch, and almost two entire years will pass between the present and the series premiere. Due to this enormous gap of time, it will be nearly impossible to avoid a massive spoiler campaign without committing some misdemeanor that gets you locked into prison between now and the day before the series launch.

Prove us wrong please.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

we make snarky boring comments about pitchfork's current 10 most popular headlines

We have no motivation for continuing this at all, so basically it's come down to this. None of this is even interesting or funny. If only we could get a hold of some ambien and post another Burroughs-style "Top 691 songs from 1997."

This post is seriously the dumbest shit we've ever written, but whatever...

At least the formatting somewhat resembles the old school version of our website. Headline in Bold followed shortly afterwards by nonsense. This sure takes us back...

Mastodon Surrounded by Twerking Dancers, So Many Butts in "The Motherload" Video
Wow, what a surprise. A headline with the word "Butts" is this week's most popular headline. Twerking is so 2013. Just use the word "ass" next time for double the clicks.

Thom Yorke Releases New Album Tomorrow's Modern Boxes Via BitTorrent
Jesus, he's so perfect. Truly a god among men.

The Pitchfork Guide to Upcoming Releases: Fall 2014
The word "Ovlov" finally appears on Pitchfork in 2014 officially filling their once-per-year quota.

Flying Lotus and Kendrick Lamar Share "Never Catch Me" Video
This song is so dope that we'd rather not ruin it with what might potentially be a shitty vid (kinda like how the "Shake It Off" video more or less ruined that song for us, but that's another story).

Mastodon's Brann Dailor Talks "The Motherload" Video: "It’s Not to Be Taken So Seriously"
Yeah, this is a good point. No one's ever had chicks with butts in a video prior to Mastodon. For shame. Your boring indie-metal is nothing compared to your clearly hateful perception of females and their butts.

Mark Kozelek Challenges the War on Drugs to Let Him Join Them Onstage
This is great. America finally has its own Liam Gallagher-style troll, except this time only like 50 people in the entire world actually care.

Mark Kozelek Apologizes to The War on Drugs
Make that 10 people. (lol)

FKA twigs Responds to Racist Twitter Abuse
But Robert Patternson is too dreamy and steamy to go on dates with the artist formerly known as Twigs. How could this happen? God, why do you hate us all?

Roger Waters Wants Everybody to Remember That He Left Pink Floyd in 1985, Has Nothing to Do With the New Pink Floyd Album
Now why would he do that? Everyone knows that Pink Floyd's two finest works are clearly The Division Shitter and A Momentary Lapse of Schlong Juice.

Stream Caribou's New Album Our Love
Sure, but only if you stream "Foulbrood" first.

[adult swim] spreads the Fox Diarrhea

Congrats to [adult swim] for receiving the extra hour or 2 at the start of their block. The new 8:00PM launch has given these guys far more freedom, no longer bound by restraints imposed by advertisers who want more and more blocks of what was referred to in a recent facebook comment as Fox Diarrhea. (We're not sure who made this up, but it perfectly sums up [as]'s 10:00PM to midnight block.

We're taking a look at their current schedule, and there's so many new shows that are getting used to actually BREAK UP and spread out the diarrhea. So like, they'll start out with a King of the Hill block (sure, why not) which is unexpectedly followed by something that isn't Family Guy, namely a block of Bob's Burgers followed by Rick and Morty.

This then gives their programmers the ability to show weirder 15-minute shows earlier. On a good night, they won't immediately resort to Robot Chicken reruns and instead pump out some new jams: We're not totally familiar with all of these, but it looks like 11:30 to 1:30 is now an entire 2-hour block of weird new stuff: Mr. Pickles, Squidbillies, Black Jesus, Eric Andre, Loiter Squad, and Tim & Eric's Bedtime Stories followed by a classic Tim & Eric before showing the same Rick & Morty from earlier (which is actually a way better time slot than right before a full hour of Family Guy).