Thursday, May 30, 2013

Pumped As Fuck Right Now

One-Third Decade Wrap Up

It's still May, so technically we're not too late...

On May 1, 2003 (or somewhere around there), we posted our decade's wrap-up lists for its first third.

On May 1, 2007, we did our belated 2/3's decade list, which encompassed 5.1.03 until 8.31.06.

We never got around to a final third of the 2000's wrap-up. Maybe someday.

And now it's May 30. So yeah, we're late again, but not TOO late. Here it is, buds. Our completely subjective picks for the biggest jams and the hugest losers since January 1, 2010 (except for 2 songs in the "worst" from 2009 cos we had trouble thinking of stuff that we especially hated). We've also supplied our previous "Hot Mix" and "Ultra Vomit" placements for easy TMI reference. (Strangely enough, lots of these never placed.)

Best: 01.01.10 .. 04.30.13
20 Mary Kate & Ashley Olson “Gimme Pizza Slow”
(2010 // did not place) | Youtube |
19 Les Savy Fav “Let’s Get Out of Here”
(2010 // did not place) | Youtube |
18 Sky Ferriera “Everything Is Embarrassing”
(2012 // #9) | Youtube |
17 Waka Flocka Flame feat. Wale & Roscoe Dash “No Hands”
(2010 // did not place) | Youtube |
16 El Guincho “Bombay” (2010 // #15) | Youtube |
15 Robyn “Hang With Me” (2010 // #16) | Youtube |
14 Big Sean feat. Nicki Minaj “Dance (A$$) Remix”
(2011 // #28) | Youtube |
13 Mac Demarco “Ode to Viceroy”
(2012 // #2) | Youtube |
12 Caribou “Sun” (2010 // #12) | Youtube |
11 Jay-Z & Kanye West “N***** In Paris”
(2011 // #1) | Youtube |
10 Beak> “Egg Dog” (2012 // #5) | Youtube |
09 Kurt Vile “Was All Talk”
(2013 // didn't happen yet) | Youtube |
08 No Age “Glitter” (2010 // #5) | Youtube |
07 The-Dream “Yamaha” (2010 // #14) | Youtube |
06 Taylor Swift “I Knew You Were Trouble”
(2012 // did not place) | Youtube |
05 My Bloody Valentine “Only Tomorrow”
(2013 // didn't happen yet) | Youtube |
04 Nicki Minaj “Super Bass”
(2011 // did not place) | Youtube |
03 Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats “Ritual Knife”
(2011 // #2) | Youtube |
02 The Arcade Fire “The Suburbs”
(2010 // #6) | Yotuube |
01 Miguel “Use Me” (2012 // #4) | Youtube |

Worst: 01.01.10 .. 04.30.13
20 Maroon 5 feat. Wiz Khalifa “Payphone”
(2012 // did not place) | Youtube |
19 Cage the Elephant “Ain’t No Rest For the Wicked”
(2009, did not place in 2010 // #1) | Youtube |
18 Cher Lloyd “Swagger Jagger”
(2011 // #7) | Youtube |
17 Jessie J "Who's Laughing Now"
(2011 // #16) | Youtube |
16 Nicki Minaj feat. Rihanna “Fly”
(2011 // #17) | Youtube |
15 Hot Chelle Rae “Tonight Tonight”
(2011 // #10) | Youtube |
14 Toby Keith “Red Solo Cup” (2011 // #12) | Youtube |
13 The Black Eyed Peas “The Time (Dirty Bit)”
(2011 // #3) | Youtube |
12 Bruno Mars “The Lazy Song” (2011 // #1) | Youtube |
11 Flo Rida “Whistle” (2012 // #8) | Youtube |
10 Britney Spears “Hold It Against Me”
(2011, did not place) | Youtube |
09 feat. Britney Spears, Hit Boy, Waka Flocka Flame, Lil Wayne & P.Diddy “Scream and Shout (Remix)”
(2013 // original version was #1 in 2012) | Youtube |
08 Pink “Raise Your Glass” (2011 // #8) | Youtube |
07 Train “Hey Soul Sister” (2011 // #9) | Youtube |
06 Dr. Dre featuring Eminem & Skylar Grey
(2010 // did not place) “I Need a Doctor” | Youtube |
05 Artists For Haiti “We Are The World 25”
(2010 // #1) | Youtube |
04 Macklemore x Ryan Lewis “And We Danced”
(2012 // #3) | Youtube |
(2011, placed #6 in 2012) | Youtube |
02 Cee-Lo Green “Fuck You”
(2010, placed #6 in 2011) | Youtube |
01 Owl City “Fireflies”
(2009, placed #20 in 2010) | Youtube |

Monday, May 27, 2013

Weezer discography (bizarro alternate universe version)

The true nerd rises up once again. Fan-fic version of Weezer's 90s discography.

Let's just say for the sake of argument............

When we say "Weezer is the greatest rock band of all time," we're mostly referring to an imaginary fictional discography that never existed, but could have feasibly existed. Maybe possibly.


For some reason, Weezer gets signed to Geffen immediately after their formation with long-hair Rivers Cuomo as lead songwriter, Pat Wilson on drums and Matt Sharp on bass and Jason Cropper on guitar.

Late-1992: Ric Ocasek agrees to record their first TWO albums, instead of just the first one. Jason Cropper leaves the band, but Weezer somehow bumps into Brian Bell who is auditioned very quickly, 7 or 8 months earlier than when it took place in reality.

With this lineage in place, the self-titled Blue Album might have ended up getting split into two halves, with "Say It Ain't So" and "No One Else" as the beginning of a distinct 1994-era. Let's take a look and see what we got here...

Weezer (self-titled) (1993)

Released June 1993 to huge acclaim and yielding the huge hit singles "Undone - The Sweater Song" and "My Name is Jonas."
1. "My Name is Jonas"
2. "Paperface"
3. "The World Has Turned and Left Me Here"
4. "Thief You’ve Taken All That Was Me"
5. "Undone – The Sweater Song"
6. "Lullaby for Wayne"
7. "I Need Some Touch"
8. "The World We Love So Much"
9. "Let’s Sew Our Pants Together"
10. "Only In Dreams"
There's a distinct atmosphere that connects everything on the Kitchen Tape demos (1, 2, 4, 5, 9 & 10) and the other four songs that appear here, all written around the same time. "Say It Ain't So" could have been either the last song written for this album or the first song written for the sophomore LP. In its place is the Gregg Alexander cover appearing as Track 8.

B-Sides (1993-1994): "Lemonade," "The Answer Man," "The Purification of Water"

Geffen pushes them to quickly capitalize on their success and rush-releases album #2...

Weezer 2 (1994)

Released May 1994. Weezer chooses the album title to follow in the tradition of other rushed classic rock sophomore releases like Queen 2 or Led Zeppelin 2.
1. "Jamie"
2. "No One Else"
3. "Susanne"
4. "Chess"
5. "Buddy Holly"
6. "I Swear It’s True"
7. "Surf Wax America"
8. "Say It Ain’t So"
9. "In The Garage"
10. "Holiday"
As noted earlier, "No One Else" sparks a new era of songwriting highly influenced by Brian Wilson and 70s power-pop. The presence of Moog-synth enters as well, becoming a Weezer trademark. The album goes multi-platinum with assistance from the "Buddy Holly" video and "Say It Ain't So." "Waiting On You" barely missed the deadline for this one, but launches yet another era of songwriting that centers around Songs from the Black Hole. While this is happening, Matt Sharp is afforded time to form The Rentals. Within the next year, "Susanne" appears in Mallrats, and an early version of "You Gave Your Love to Me Softly" appears in Angus.

B-Sides (1994-1995): "Mykel and Carli," "My Evaline," "Don't Worry Baby" (Beach Boys cover)

Songs from the Black Hole (1995)
Released October 1995. Record label pressure forces Weezer to record their next album so soon that they decide to keep the "Black Hole" concept for this album. However, they decide to reserve one of the long-winded song cycles as a B-Side bonus.

1. "Countdown" (Intro) / "Blast Off!"
2. "Tired of Sex"
3. "Getchoo"
4. "Waiting on You"
5. "I Just Threw Out the Love of My Dreams"
6. "Superfriend"
7. "You Won’t Get With Me Tonight"
8. "Devotion"
9. "Let Me Wash Your Sink"
10. "Longtime Sunshine"
"Tired of Sex" is released as the only promotional single. Around this time, Rivers attends Harvard and gets the medical procedure where his leg gets sawed. As a result of this, Weezer is unable to tour or promote, but Matt uses the opportunity to promote Return of the Rentals which possibly includes "Crumblin," "Frisbee Days" and "California" in the tracklisting in place of the last 3 songs. "Mrs. Young," also known as "Jamie 2," also known as the alternate version of "Please Let That Be You," is released as a Weezer B-Side with vocals from both Rivers and Matt.

B-Sides (1995-1996): "Lisa," "Mrs. Young," "I'm So Lonely on a Saturday Night," and the song-sequence that includes "Oh Jonas," "Please Remember," "Come to My Pod" and "Oh No This is Not Me." All 7 of these songs, along with the acoustic versions of "Jamie" and "No One Else," appear on the "Tired of Sex" CD maxi-single in January 1996. The diehards ultimately treasure this CD as a fan favorite.

Pinkerton (1996)
September 1996. The tracklisting remains mostly intact besides the first two songs which were already included on their last LP.

1. "You Gave Your Love to Me Softly"
2. "Walt Disney"
3. "No Other One"
4. "Why Bother"
5. "Across the Sea"
6. "The Good Life"
7. "El Scorcho"
8. "Pink Triangle"
9. "Falling for You"
10. "Butterfly"
Just the same, the singles are "El Scorcho," "The Good Life" and "Pink Triangle." No big changes were necessary here.

B-Sides (1996-1997): "Tragic Girl," "Getting Up and Leaving"

Matt Sharp decides to remain an active member of the band for one more album, but the process is longer than expected. The album recording continues with Mikey Welsh, who also provides bass for two shows as "Goat Punishment" in late 1998, playing 2 sets of Nirvana and Oasis covers, respectively.

Homie! (1999)
Released Spring 1999. Instead of forming a new band, Homie simply becomes Weezer's 5th album. It's also sadly their last with Matt Sharp, and it includes an incorrect tracklisting on its album art, "as a goof." Halfway through recording, Matt leaves to focus on The Rentals. He ends up supplying bass and engineering 5 songs, and Mikey Welsh plays bass on the other 5, as well as all 3 B-Sides.

1. "The Prettiest Girl in the Whole Wide World"
2. "Hot Tub"
3. "Think About You"
4. "Lover in the Snow"
5. "American Girls"
6. "Fun Time"
7. "Trampoline"
8. "My Brain is Working Overtime"
9. "Cold and Damp"
10. "Wanda (You’re My Only Love)"

B-Sides (1999): "Velouria" (Pixies cover), "Crazy One," "Everyone"

Summer Songs (2000)
Released June 2000. Album #6. They're all songs that were demoed over the summer of 2000.

Jay Leno knocks on Pat Wilson's door in January 2001 and includes him in a sketch about Elvis impersonators. In reality, Jay Leno did not recognize Pat, and in this universe he still doesn't, but lots of fans figure it out quickly due to the lack of Weezer's late 90s hiatus. In our alt-universe, the clip becomes a popular Weezer meme (shown on "MTV News on MTV2" n stuff). It also might have been a slightly bigger deal 3-4 months prior when they were again randomly selected for a Channel 12 in LA news segment about Nader's effect on the 2000 election.

Christmas EP (2000)
Released December 2000 with "The Christmas Song" and "Christmas Celebration."

The Green Album (2001)
Released May 2001. Same tracklisting. Same B-Sides. Mikey Welsh doesn't lose his shit, and remains in the band for its duration.

Maladroit (2002)
Released May 2002. Their 8th and final full-length album, and their only release to deviate from a 10-song tracklisting.

The Lion and the Witch (2002)
Released September 2002. Live EP.

The "Video Capture Device" DVD eventually sees release as well in 2004. But besides that, they realize they're no longer the same band, and they wisely decide to call it quits in late 2002, salvaging their legacy and leaving behind 10 years of decently consistent releases.

In 2004, Rivers Cuomo starts a new band with Scott Shriner and 2 other musicians (1 of whom might be Pat Wilson or Brian Bell, who have been now afforded more time to focus on The Special Goodness and Space Twins). This new band releases the albums Make Believe, The Red Album, Raditude and Hurley between 2005 and 2010. They score huge hits with songs like "Beverly Hills" and "Pork and Beans," but released under a different band name. And everyone is happy.

In late 2010, instead of the Blue Album/Pinkerton tour that took place in reality, Weezer reforms with Matt Sharp for a series of reunion shows, and everyone is happy.

As of this moment, my geek-week quota is outstandingly full, and I'm gonna lose consciousness any second now...

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Q&A with Darl Ferm from Speedy Ortiz (TMK X-Clusive)

Darl Ferm is a man of many names. In certain circles, he may be known as "Daniel." In addition to his tenure as Speedy Ortiz's bass-man extraordinaire, he is the owner and proprietor of DUMP FOOTAGE, the video blog that premiered Speedy's "Indoor Soccer" video in Fall 2012. He's also previously toured with Boston-area bands like Day Sleeper, and he loves The Simpsons probably more than we do.

We met up with Ferm downtown at the China Club for some Q&A. What we learned may shock you.

How many basses do you own? Is the bass in your face?
I own two broken basses and a functional Squier P-Bass. The bass is in my face. The bass took my Face/Off, so yes, it was in my face. Best $40 I've spent on Craigslist.

Which bass string is your least favorite?
G. I avoid it all costs. I use it for two songs, and only so I can explore and understand how much awfulness a string can possess.

Who is your favorite fictional bass player?
Bitter Dean Bobby Peterson featured on the Simpsons episode where Homer goes to college. Not to be confused with Dean Bitterman from School of Hard Knockers.

What did you do yesterday?
I watched three episodes of Parental Control after an episode of Bet On Your Baby, like everyone.

What TV shows or movies have the best bass?
Twin Peaks has the best bass, in the opening credits and throughout the score. Angelo Badalamenti is one of my favorite composers. Bass has become a more prominent feature of film scores lately, notably the new Tron and Spring Breakers.

How many Speedy Ortiz videos have you worked on?
"Indoor Soccer" and "Ka-Prow!," but "Ka-Prow!" was more of a team effort. I also have some live music videos at my website DUMP FOOTAGE.

Is Sting a good bass player? Is Geddy Lee a good bass player?
Sting was in Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, so yes, Stu Hamm rules.

Everyone's been dying to know, when will the Notes From Underground full length become a reality?
When the legal issues clear up between me and Men's Warehouse, the greatest The Cure cover band of all time.

How was it playing in Day Sleeper? What was your favorite show in Day Sleeper?
My favorite show was at University of Southern Maine, Gorham, where we drove out of state for the first time, played for 6 people, and watched the trailer for the Speed Racer remake, just like every Day Sleeper experience.

Who were the best bass players on The Simpsons?
Already answeredddD.

What is the best pizza of all time?
Modern, even when the cheese decides to leave its close friends sauce and crust.

If there were a bass shaped like a pizza, where would be the best place to play this bass?
My mouth.

Sadie said I should ask you about Milo. How's Milo doing? Does he slobber?
He's sniffing glue. Beagles have a strong sense of smell, so he gets pretty high.

How was your recent bagel mission in Montreal?
Mission was a double success. Cinnamon raisin bagel was acquired. Plain bagel was acquired x2.

Okay, last question. I know you're tight with the Boston band Krill. If Krill were your children, where would you organize their respective birthday parties?
They are my children. I'm their dad. Their birthdays will be held inside Mike Caulo's body (I.e. Osmosis Jones). See you next Bastille Day.

Monday, May 20, 2013

The "New Shit" Radar (Ovlov, Kim Deal, Krill, Lil B, Two Inch Astronaut, Uncle Acid, Speedy Ortiz, Trinidad Jame$)

The radar is detecting extreme hotness and jamminess in the following "hot jam" directions:

Ovlov "Blue Baby"
Currently touring with Grass Is Green. If you miss this, you have no one else to blame but yourself for missing out. Give these bands another year and they'll be opening for U2 and Rod Stewart down at Nassau Coliseum. No joke, our first official lock for "top 10 albums of the year" is almost here. In the meantime, them boys have unleashed a sick teaser track:

Kim Deal "Walking with a Killer"
Kim's got 4 new songs floating around, and The Breeders will be playing Last Splash from now until at least October. You have no excuse to miss this. NONE. DO NOT FUCK THIS UP.

Krill "Never a Joke"
Catch this band before Lucky leaves and Krill enters indefinite hiatus. I swear to God if you fuck this up supper will be cancelled forever.

Lil B "Choppin' Paper Up"
Pretty boy swag

Two Inch Astronaut "Blood from a Loyal Hound"
Touring soon with Hive Bent. Spill it.

Uncle Acid & the Deadbeats "Evil Love"
Fun Fact: Did you know this is our third favorite band in the world right now after BEAK> and No Age? No new videos from Uncle Acid just yet, but the album slays like some gnarly slay monster.

Speedy Ortiz "Tiger Tank"
Not on bandcamp, but that's ok. Our X-clusive Speedy interview may be posted tomorrow. Probably.

Trinidad Jame$ "All Screwed Everything"
"All Gold Everything" gets chopped and screwed to bits. This is def on Bandcamp.

2000's Jams #108: Washed Out "Feel It All Around" (2009)

Brief stabs of dub drums cheat into the mix. The synthesizers that drive the arrangement sound cheap and liquored-up, but are impeccably paced like a pour of great molasses. Somewhere, echoes of 10cc's breathy "I'm Not In Love" enter the picture, as does YMO's churning bass exploration "Naughty Boys". Greene seems dedicated to mapping a musical history that never actually existed but seems meticulously seen: a historical fiction re-imagining a lifetime of easy listening.

The initial feeling we received from "Feel It All Around" was vague nostalgia, for a time that's somewhat unable to be placed, or may conjure different areas of memory for different people. For some reason, Y2K-era electronic music came to mind - Air, The Avalanches, or even the more ambient stuff from Richard D James. Washed Out could have fit within this era, taking the borrowed misplaced nostalgia approach, longing for the golden years of AM easy listening. It was the first official "chillwave" we ever heard. Within weeks, Neon Indian and Toro Y Moi were on the radar as well, paving the way for other chill lofi contemporaries.

2000's Jams #109: Wilco "I Am Trying to Break Your Heart" (2002)

Wilco probably did not invent the thing where every song on their most acclaimed record has a huge coda section that preceded internet dummies overusing the term "epic" as a synonym for "radical" or something. But they did own something fierce on Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. We probably refer to Chuck Klosterman too often in our "hot jam" descriptions, but his Jeff Tweedy profile was one of the first times we noticed a strange sonic parallel between an album's aura and world events (in this case, the fall of the World Trade Center). It also starts with "Jeff Tweedy didn't vomit today. He vomited yesterday, but not today."

Friday, May 10, 2013

2000's Jams (+5): The Strokes “Ask Me Anything” (2006)

The Strokes possibly invented the thing where on a band's third album they depart from their sound somewhere around Track 5 or 6, taking a quick break, displaying their more somber and pensive areas. We've noticed No Age trying out a similar tactic in 2010 ("Common Heat") and also Grass Is Green in 2012 ("Somebody's Something") albeit these were probably coincidences. Third-album syndrome brings out these kindsa vibes...

"My Bike"

we really suck at keeping up on posts lately.

YN Rich Kids have inspired. following up "Hot Cheetos & Takis" with a new jam. Good to know they're getting in some exercise to combat the junk food gorging.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

2000's Jams (+5): Outkast “Unhappy” (2003)

10 years on, Speakerboxxx still rules as the less tedious and equally sprawling half of this decade's answer to The White Album (for properly displaying which of Outkast's members were responsible for their individual components, showcasing a proper encore to their brilliant 3-album stretch between 1996 and 2000, and providing the 2000's with its most beloved double-album.)

Jams like "Ghettomusick," "The Rooster," "The Way You Move," "Knowing" and ESPECIALLY the hugely underrated deep cut "Reset" (with samples of shaken spray-paint cans) still sound just as fresh today, and present something far deeper than Andre's forays into "bizarre for the sake of bizarre." The Love Below was an exciting as fuck moment in time that hasn't aged nearly as well as Speakerboxxx, although we still attest to our initial assessment: Both halves need each other in order to form their proper ying-and-yang cohesion, an important factor in what makes its sprawl so fascinating.

There are several "keys" to unlocking the heart of this album, but "Unhappy" is among our most favorite, placed towards the album's beginning and setting a tone that's subdued and pensive, yet playful and just as inventive as the artistic heights of their 90's material.

And for fun, here's the "Ghettomusick" video: