500 (+6) Worst Songs (In Order)

Who's a fan of lists? Anyone? Because that's now the official purpose of this blog from now until eternity. We no longer have a dot com because it was a waste of money. So that's the blog update. Now for our list...



A few years ago, we posted the 2022 update of our 500 Hottest Jams. It still feels pretty accurate.

We determined that an official unveiling of our two-years-old "500 Worst" is the only post that could possibly generate more excitement than the 2022 update to the 500 Hottest Jams.

Everyone's gonna love this list because it's the only and therefore most accurate megalist of Worst Songs ever assembled. As an added bonus, it's definitely the only one that took over two years to finish.

So here's the deal: If you're looking for "annoying" songs (the ones that annoy people), some of those might be here. But overall, you might be disappointed since this isn't a "most annoying" list. The objectivity separating "worst" from "most annoying" felt physically palpable enough to help craft this into an overwhelming mass of horrendously bad music. In fact, this is in fact a megalist of the worst songs of all time.

Stuff that you won't find here:

• Regarding the separtion of "annoying" vs "worst," consider the Friends theme song - "I'll Be There For You" by The Rembrandts. It's exceptionally annoying, but it won't be found here today. For similar reasons, we did not place "Let's Hear It For The Boy" even though we find it dreadfully annoying.
• In 2003, two people who work at Blender magazine decided that "We Built This City" should be the new "worst song of all time" and suddenly everyone just agreed with them like mindless pod people. We can't find any other evidence for how this song earned its reputation.
• Phil Collins does appear often, but not "Sussudio."
• We (mostly) gave some benefit of the doubt to Olivia Rodrigo, since many of our peers hear her music as anything other than shit. With apologies to the stans, she places just once, although many more could have just as easily been slipped into the lower half. One recent song that rips off "Pepper" by Butthole Surfers came dangerously close.
• Even though we can't stand broadway musicals, it didn't seem fair to include that stuff here. That said, you might locate a few placements heavily fusing pop with songwriting tropes from musicals.
• "Difficult" listening like Merzbow or Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music is obviously nowhere to be found here. Outsider music and Lulu are simply fascinating, and its creators have no place in a list like this. Leave Lou Reed alone. Leave The Shaggs alone.
• When considering context, it just didn't make sense to include any Backstreet Boys or New Kids On The Block; although commercially packaged teen-pop does appear somewhat often, we opted for more popular '70s artists and dug deeper for the grating '80s, '90s, and '00s cuts.
• Tom MacDonald or any other racist right-wing rappers didn't get included here because no one actually listens to this. We've never heard it out in public, and it seems pretty easy to avoid. Plus, it doesn't make sense to throw in a few songs for disagreeing with their politics. Thousands of racist people have written songs. It feels like a criteria for a different list, like "chilling, hateful music created by sub-humans who want to murder all of us."
• "Friday" is serious heat. Let's leave Rebecca Black out of this conversation.
• Leave Justin Bieber out of this. (Dang, we just noticed Bieber's name does appear once, but it's on an Ed Sheeran collab. It's not his fault. He's also the first voice heard in "We Are The World 25," but that doesn't count. Leave the guy alone!)

We started this list in March 2024, not long before RateYourMusic removed a decades-old hack when you could replaced the word "top" with "bottom" within a URL, which would then reveal some (not all, but some) often very accurate (but often very inaccurate) ideas for stuff to include here. Thankfully, we thoroughly researched the "bottom" lists of RYM just in time before the website removed this hack/feature. Not long after this, we shared an initial draft via Spotify links. The response was usually some general agreement followed by outrage. But this gave us a chance for reconsiderations.

We removed over 100 songs from the initial draft as we continued researching out in the world, Shazaming everything that seemed to fit the criteria. This often occurred at grocery stores, or while simply trying to live our lives without painful music disrupting the chi. It actually made the captive, public infliction of painfully bad music all the more enjoyable, knowing that a quick Shazam is all it would take to later guide its way onto the 500 Worst where it belongs.

With this in mind, we also heavily opted for songs that feel forced upon the masses to some degree. A horrendously bad song by someone with 15 monthly Spotify listeners simply hangs so much lower than a huge piece of shit that some SiriusXM programmer impulsively misguided into infinite radio rotation. For the indies, it's worth noting that a deeply shitty band name did increase the odds of a placement if one of their most popular songs sucked just enough to cause a headache.

Placements are also not a reflection on the value of these artists; we're guessing at least 50 artists (probably a lot more) also appear in the 500 Hottest Jams list. Weezer and Green Day come to mind. And yes, there's a Beatles song deep in there somewhere, along with a handful of solo tracks. Nothing was included for the purpose of upsetting fans of the artists or even fans of any of the songs in this list. It's simply a large collection of remarkably painful songs. It's ok to enjoy bad songs enough to not recognize them as bad. In fact, we do this all the time. No offense taken.

Should there be more Creed? We probably would have thrown in a few more (alongside their adjacents who are essentially Creed with different band members - Daughtry, for instance), except that they usually make us laugh. Funny-bad has its merits and often puts a smile on our faces. Comparatively, the 500 Worst might induce some serious-ass wincing. We made sure to thoroughly examine two subgenres eras that felt underrepresented in the canon of "suck." #1 The Billboard charting pop era between 2010 and the present (at least partially covering the civil-war-wave stomp/clap movement of the early 2010s), and #2 The bottom-feeders of the Warped Tour / Punk-O-Rama adjacents, especially ones resembling what we call "pirate music."

This is a very hard playlist to get through (although that didn't stop at least one of our colleagues who claims he finished the entire thing in a week).

It's ok if you actively like a few of these. Nothing bad will happen. Maybe you genuinely like this entire list. If that's the case, enjoy!





1 Lee Greenwood God Bless The U.S.A.
2 Voices That Care Voices That Care
3 American Authors Best Day Of My Life
4 Fall Out Boy Centuries
5 The Dresden Dolls Girl Anachronism
6 Timbaland f/ Katy Perry If We Ever Meet Again
7 Black Eyed Peas The Time (Dirty Bit)
8 Blue October Hate Me
9 Dropkick Murphys I'm Shipping Up To Boston
10 Lukas Graham Mama Said

11 AJR I'm Ready
12 Nickelback Figured You Out
13 Fall Out Boy We Didn’t Start The Fire
14 Charlie Puth & Meghan Trainor Marvin Gaye
15 CeeLo Green Fuck You
16 Train Play That Song
17 Bruno Mars The Lazy Song
18 Marshmello f/ Bastille Happier
19 Gretchen Wilson Redneck Woman
20 The Living End Prisoner of Society

21 The Chainsmokers #SELFIE
22 Deadeye Dick New Age Girl
23 Jet Cold Hard Bitch
24 Simple Plan Welcome to My Life
25 will.i.am f/ Britney Spears Scream & Shout
26 Toby Keith Red Solo Cup
27 Imagine Dragons Believer
28 Counting Crows & Vanessa Carlton Big Yellow Taxi
29 Twenty One Pilots Car Radio
30 Reunion Life Is a Rock (But the Radio Rolled Me)

31 Lizzo Good as Hell
32 Wallpaper. FUCKING BEST SONG EVERRR
33 fun. Some Nights
34 Rod Stewart Rhythm of My Heart
35 Robert John The Lion Sleeps Tonight
36 Lukas Graham 7 Years
37 Le Tigre I'm With Her
38 Custom Hey Mister
39 Imagine Dragons Thunder
40 Weezer Can't Stop Partying

41 Grand Funk Railroad The Loco-Motion
42 Travie McCoy f/ Bruno Mars Billionaire
43 girl in red Serotonin
44 Survivor Eye of the Tiger
45 The J. Geils Band Centerfold
46 Cobra Starship f/ Leighton Meester Good Girls Go Bad
47 Owl City Fireflies
48 Nickelback Something in Your Mouth
49 Train Hey, Soul Sister
50 Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros Home

51 Tony Orlando and Dawn Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree
52 David Guetta f/ Akon Sexy Bitch
53 Jibbs Chain Hang Low
54 Creed Don't Stop Dancing
55 Plain White T's 1, 2, 3, 4
56 The Chainsmokers f/ Halsey Closer
57 Cage The Elephant Ain't No Rest for the Wicked
58 Akon Lonely
59 Big & Rich Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)
60 Eric Clapton It's in the Way That You Use It

61 Jessie J f/ Ariana Grande & Nicki Minaj Bang Bang
62 Jason Derulo Don't Wanna Go Home
63 Five For Fighting Superman (It's Not Easy)
64 Flo Rida Whistle
65 Imagine Dragons Demons
66 OneRepublic I Ain't Worried
67 KONGOS Come with Me Now
68 My Son The Hurricane Mr. Hollands Locust
69 Colbie Caillat Bubbly
70 Sam Smith Stay With Me

71 Leftöver Crack Life is Pain
72 Gogol Bordello Wonderlust King
73 Billy Joel You're Only Human (Second Wind)
74 Twenty One Pilots Stressed Out
75 Weezer (If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To
76 The Dresden Dolls Coin-Operated Boy
77 Bette Midler From a Distance
78 John Travolta & Jeff Conaway Greased Lightnin'
79 Godsmack I Stand Alone
80 KISS God Gave Rock 'N' Roll To You

81 Of Monsters and Men Little Talks
82 Meat Loaf Rock And Roll Dreams Come Through
83 Green Day Know Your Enemy
84 Joe Nichols Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off
85 Daniel Powter Bad Day
86 Nas I Can
87 Katy Perry One Of The Boys
88 The Offspring Cruising California (Bumpin' In My Trunk)
89 Theory of a Deadman Blow
90 Alicia Keys Girl on Fire

91 Weezer Heart Songs
92 Gwen Stefani f/ Eve Rich Girl
93 Blessid Union Of Souls Hey Leonardo (She Likes Me for Me)
94 Bastille Pompeii
95 David Guetta f/ Anne-Marie & Coi Leray Baby Don't Hurt Me
96 Billy Talent Red Flag
97 Kenny Chesney She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy
98 Lenny Kravitz Strut
99 The Offspring Hit That
100 P!nk Stupid Girls

101 4 Non Blondes What's Up?
102 Eric Clapton Pretending
103 Måneskin Beggin'
104 Say Anything Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too
105 Jason Mraz I'm Yours
106 Madonna American Pie
107 Wolfmother Woman
108 3 Doors Down Here Without You
109 She & Him Happy Holiday
110 Fifth Harmony f/ Kid Ink Worth It

111 My Chemical Romance Teenagers
112 3OH!3 DONTTRUSTME
113 Bon Jovi Always
114 Finger Eleven Paralyzer
115 Tim McGraw Don't Take The Girl
116 Rob Thomas Lonely No More
117 Black Eyed Peas Where Is The Love?
118 Jax f/ JVKE u love u
119 Ugly Kid Joe Everything About You
120 Styx Come Sail Away

121 The J. Geils Band Love Stinks
122 Meghan Trainor Mother
123 Billie Eilish bad guy
124 Tones And I Dance Monkey
125 Phillip Phillips Home
126 Dan Baird I Love You Period
127 Paul McCartney Freedom
128 Michael Bolton That's What Love Is All About
129 Live Simple Creed
130 Lewis Capaldi Someone You Loved

131 Flobots Handlebars
132 Joshua Kadison Jessie
133 Simple Plan Perfect
134 Metro Station Shake It
135 TRAMP STAMPS I'd Rather Die
136 AJR World's Smallest Violin
137 AC/DC Big Balls
138 Clint Holmes Playground In My Mind
139 Karmin Brokenhearted
140 Edie Brickell & New Bohemians What I Am

141 Blue October Jump Rope
142 Doja Cat Demons
143 Niall Horan Slow Hands
144 The Mooney Suzuki Alive & Amplified
145 Greta Van Fleet Highway Tune
146 Asher Roth I Love College
147 Lenny Kravitz American Woman
148 George Thorogood & The Destroyers Bad To The Bone
149 Bobby Goldsboro Honey
150 The Offspring Original Prankster

151 Plain White T's Hey There Delilah
152 Meghan Trainor All About That Bass
153 Meredith Brooks Bitch
154 The New Seekers I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing (In Perfect Harmony)
155 The J. Geils Band Freeze-Frame
156 WZRD Where Did You Sleep Last Night?
157 Toni Basil Hey Mickey
158 Michael Bolton When a Man Loves a Woman
159 Creed With Arms Wide Open (Strings Version)
160 Cher Lloyd Swagger Jagger

161 Joshua Kadison Beautiful In My Eyes
162 Damn Yankees High Enough
163 Weezer We Are All On Drugs
164 Eddie Murphy f/ Michael Jackson Whatzupwitu
165 Pennywise Bro Hymn
166 Christina Perri jar of hearts
167 Fitz and The Tantrums HandClap
168 Bo Burnham Words, Words, Words
169 Gogol Bordello Start Wearing Purple
170 Eminem Sing For The Moment

171 John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John Summer Nights
172 The Wanted Glad You Came
173 MAGIC! Rude
174 She & Him Black Hole
175 Ava Max Not Your Barbie Girl
176 will.i.am f/ Mick Jagger & Jennifer Lopez T.H.E (The Hardest Ever)
177 Green Day Wake Me up When September Ends
178 Beach Bunny Prom Queen
179 Survivor The Search Is Over
180 Måneskin I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE

181 Fall Out Boy My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light Em Up)
182 Doechii Anxiety
183 Rednex Cotton Eye Joe
184 Good Charlotte Little Things
185 Akon f/ Eminem Smack That
186 Van Halen Can't Stop Lovin' You
187 Maroon 5 Memories
188 Portugal. The Man Feel It Still
189 Clay Aiken Invisible
190 Queen Bicycle Race

191 Shinedown A Symptom Of Being Human
192 David Bowie & Mick Jagger Dancing in the Street
193 Chromeo Momma's Boy
194 Green Day Oh Love
195 Elle King Ex's & Oh's
196 Meghan Trainor Dear Future Husband
197 St. Vincent Pills
198 Ed Sheeran & Justin Bieber I Don't Care
199 Millionaires I Like Money
200 Fitz and The Tantrums Out of My League

201 Meryn Cadell The Sweater
202 Matt and Kim Daylight
203 Bo Donaldson & The Heywoods Billy, Don't Be A Hero
204 Seether Careless Whisper
205 Brian Hyland Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini
206 Call Me Loop Self Love
207 Weezer No Scrubs
208 Machine Gun Kelly f/ WILLOW emo girl
209 Demi Lovato Sorry Not Sorry
210 Pomplamoose Single Ladies

211 Ugly Kid Joe Cats In The Cradle
212 Harry Chapin Cat's in the Cradle
213 Phil Collins Can't Stop Loving You
214 Boyzone Mystical Experience
215 3OH!3 f/ Katy Perry STARSTRUKK
216 RAYE WHERE IS MY HUSBAND!
217 Hinder Better Than Me
218 Alex Clare Too Close
219 Train AM Gold
220 AJR Thirsty

221 Paula Abdul Will You Marry Me?
222 She Wants Revenge Tear You Apart
223 Bobby McFerrin Don't Worry Be Happy
224 Pepper Give It Up
225 Britney Spears Hold It Against Me
226 KT Tunstall Black Horse And The Cherry Tree
227 CORPSE Miss YOU!
228 Tantric Breakdown
229 Gregg Alexander The Truth
230 Godsmack Voodoo

231 Bertie Higgins Key Largo
232 Smash Mouth All Star
233 The Offspring Why Don't You Get A Job
234 The Fray How to Save a Life
235 Gracie Abrams That’s So True
236 P!nk F**kin' Perfect
237 Nelson After The Rain
238 Meghan Trainor Lips Are Movin
239 Simple Plan Addicted
240 AWOLNATION Sail

241 Jessie J Who's Laughing Now
242 Bree Sharp David Duchovny
243 Jim Carrey Cuban Pete
244 Hobo Johnson I want to see the World
245 Hozier Too Sweet
246 Nine Days Absolutely (Story of a Girl)
247 Shawn Mendes f/ Camila Cabello I Know What You Did Last Summer
248 Joe Diffie Bigger Than the Beatles
249 Two Humans Commuter Lot
250 The Last Shadow Puppets The Age Of The Understatement

251 Seether Fine Again
252 Swingin' Utters Five Lessons Learned
253 P!nk Raise Your Glass
254 Guns N' Roses Since I Don't Have You
255 Wilson Phillips Hold On
256 Carman The Light of Jesus to the World
257 George Thorogood & The Destroyers Get A Haircut
258 Bryan Adams, Sting, & Rod Stewart All For Love (All For One)
259 Sam Smith f/ Demi Lovato I’m Ready
260 AJR Call My Dad

261 Meat Loaf You Took The Words Right Out of My Mouth (Hot Summer Night)
262 Maroon 5 Maps
263 The Chainsmokers & Coldplay Something Just Like This
264 Phil Collins True Colors
265 MC Hammer Addams Groove
266 Anna Kendrick Cups
267 Lewis Capaldi Forget Me
268 Jimmy Fallon f/ Ariana Grande & Megan Thee Stallion It Was A… (Masked Christmas)
269 Plain White T's Hate (I Really Don't Like You)
270 Sandi Thom I Wish I Was a Punk Rocker (with Flowers in My Hair)

271 Akon Don't Matter
272 Michael Jackson Heal the World
273 Sia Chandelier
274 Imagine Dragons Whatever It Takes
275 Flogging Molly Drunken Lullabies
276 Hozier Take Me to Church
277 Tom Cochrane Life Is A Highway
278 Rascal Flatts Life is a Highway
279 Marshmello & Selena Gomez Wolves
280 Diet Cig Harvard

281 Andy Grammer Honey, I'm Good
282 Martin Garrix & Bebe Rexha In the Name of Love
283 Britney Spears My Prerogative
284 Alestorm Fucked with an Anchor
285 Let's Wrestle We Are the Men You'll Grow to Love Soon
286 Bobby Goldsboro Watching Scotty Grow
287 Joey Scarbury Believe It or Not (Theme from "Greatest American Hero")
288 Chris Brown Don't Wake Me Up
289 Aerosmith Amazing
290 Buckcherry Crazy Bitch

291 Dananananaykroyd Some Dresses
292 Christina Aguilera, Lil' Kim, Mýa, & P!nk Lady Marmalade
293 Jump 'N' The Saddle Band The Curly Shuffle
294 Mike Posner f/ Lil Wayne Bow Chicka Wow Wow
295 Ashlee Simpson La La
296 David Guetta f/ Flo Rida & Nicki Minaj Where Them Girls At
297 Rob Thomas One Less Day (Dying Young)
298 Jet Rollover D.J.
299 St. Vincent Pay Your Way In Pain
300 Nickelback This Afternoon

301 Lola Young Messy
302 Jaymes Young Infinity
303 Bowling For Soup 1985
304 Paula Abdul Vibeology
305 Black Eyed Peas I Gotta Feeling
306 O-Town I Showed Her
307 Local Natives Fountain Of Youth
308 Five For Fighting 100 Years
309 Buster Poindexter And His Banshees Of Blue Hot Hot Hot
310 Michael Bublé Haven't Met You Yet

311 Darryl Worley Have You Forgotten?
312 Hot Action Cop Fever for the Flava
313 The Pussycat Dolls Don't Cha
314 Adele Rumour Has It
315 Liz Phair Bollywood
316 John Parr St. Elmos Fire (Man in Motion)
317 Black Eyed Peas Just Can’t Get Enough
318 Theory of a Deadman Hate My Life
319 Wolfmother High on My Own Supply
320 WALK THE MOON Shut Up and Dance

321 Vendetta Red Shatterday
322 Huntrix Golden
323 Johnny and the Phux Fecal America
324 Robert Downey Jr. ft/ Jon Anderson Medley: Your Move / Give Peace A Chance
325 Say Anything I Got Your Money
326 Artists for Haiti We Are the World 25
327 lovelytheband broken
328 Duffy Mercy
329 Rod Stewart Downtown Train
330 Marilyn Manson mOBSCENE

331 SuperHeavy Miracle Worker
332 Hoobastank The Reason
333 Dog's Eye View Everything Falls Apart
334 Sexy Girls Krawn's Song
335 Imagine Dragons Natural
336 Death By Unga Bunga I Wanted Everything
337 Ray Stevens The Streak
338 Michael Bolton Can I Touch You...There?
339 Blue Swede Hooked On A Feeling
340 Boston Rock & Roll Band

341 Styx Lady
342 Billy Joel Tell Her About It
343 Pitbull f/ Kesha Timber
344 The Cowsills Hair
345 The Charlie Daniels Band The Devil Went Down to Georgia
346 Unkle Adams I Am Stronger
347 The Victorious Cast ft/ Victoria Justice Beggin' On Your Knees
348 Saving Abel Addicted
349 SHOP BOYZ Party Like A Rock Star
350 Kelly Osbourne Shut Up

351 Leah Kate Twinkle Twinkle
352 Tones And I Ur So F**kInG cOoL
353 Diablo Swing Orchestra Superhero Jagganath
354 Will Smith Black Suits Comin' (Nod Ya Head)
355 The Bloody Irish Boys Drink 'er Up Boys
356 Fergie Glamorous
357 Take That Back for Good
358 Phil Collins You'll Be In My Heart
359 The Eagles Get Over It
360 Lil Dicky Earth

361 Gym Class Heroes f/ Adam Levine Stereo Hearts
362 Jesse Camp See You Around
363 The Script Breakeven
364 Leftöver Crack Bedbugs & Beyond
365 Mumford & Sons I Will Wait
366 Rita Ora f/ Bebe Rexha, Charli xcx, & Cardi B Girls
367 Maroon 5 f/ Cardi B Girls Like You
368 Saving Jane Girl Next Door
369 Ben Rector Brand New
370 James Blunt You're Beautiful

371 Dirty Pretty Things Bang Bang You're Dead
372 Fall Out Boy Young And Menace
373 Twenty One Pilots Holding on to You
374 Jimmy Fallon & Meghan Trainor Wrap Me Up
375 Falling In Reverse Alone
376 Green Day American Idiot
377 Screeching Weasel Cool Kids
378 Korn Another Brick in the Wall, Pt. 1, 2, & 3
379 Aerosmith Big Ten Inch Record
380 James Gang Walk Away

381 Ram Jam Black Betty
382 Loggins & Messina Your Mama Don't Dance
383 Adult Mom Survival
384 Karl Karlsson, Nicki Karlsson, & Krissie Karlsson I Will I Can
385 A$AP Ferg & Elle Fanning Moon River
386 Thirty Seconds To Mars Walk On Water
387 Green Day Father of All Motherfuckers
388 Maroon 5 Animals
389 Jimmy Fallon f/ will.i.am EW!
390 The Pipkins Gimme Dat Ding

391 Muse Survival
392 Slothrust Crockpot
393 Michael Bolton Love Is a Wonderful Thing
394 Imagine Dragons I Bet My Life
395 Olivia Rodrigo vampire
396 Eric Clapton Layla (Unplugged)
397 Noah Kahan Stick Season
398 The Dare Good Time
399 Brotherhood of Man United We Stand
400 Joe Walsh Life's Been Good

401 Tim McGraw Better Than I Used To Be
402 Vanessa Carlton A Thousand Miles
403 Flo Rida f/ Kesha Right Round
404 The Manhattan Transfer Boy From New York City
405 Elton John & Dua Lipa Cold Heart (PNAU Remix)
406 David Lee Roth Just a Gigolo / I Ain't Got Nobody
407 Black Eyed Peas Let's Get It Started
408 Neon Trees Everybody Talks
409 Finger Eleven One Thing
410 Britney Spears (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction

411 Andy Grammer Keep Your Head Up
412 Birthday Suits Rock'n Roll Emergency
413 Echosmith Cool Kids
414 Animal Bag Everybody
415 Bruno Mars Just the Way You Are
416 Mark Ambor Belong Together
417 Basshunter Please Don't Go
418 Daya Sit Still, Look Pretty
419 Bowling For Soup Girl All the Bad Guys Want
420 Akon Sorry, Blame It On Me

421 Jason Derulo Whatcha Say
422 Captain & Tennille Muskrat Love
423 Uncle Kracker Follow Me
424 Fifth Harmony f/ Ty Dolla $ign Work from Home
425 Hailee Steinfeld & Grey f/ Zedd Starving
426 Alter Bridge Ties That Bind
427 Andrew Bird Imitosis
428 Lars Frederiksen and the Bastards The Viking
429 Michael Bolton Said I Loved You...But I Lied
430 Godsmack Cryin' Like A Bitch!!

431 Bob Seger Like A Rock
432 Carl Douglas Kung Fu Fighting
433 The DeFranco Family Heartbeat It's A Love Beat
434 The Scally Cap Brats Iron and Steel
435 The All-American Rejects Gives You Hell
436 Matchbox Twenty If You're Gone
437 Ray Stevens Everything Is Beautiful
438 Shawn Mullins Lullaby
439 Guantanamo Baywatch Mesa, AZ
440 Chris Brown f/ T-Pain Kiss Kiss

441 P!nk What About Us
442 All Time Low Umbrella
443 My Chemical Romance Welcome to the Black Parade (Steve Aoki Remix)
444 Elton John & Britney Spears Hold Me Closer
445 Janelle Monáe f/ Jidenna Yoga
446 Bonnie McKee Bombastic
447 Escape the Fate Smooth
448 Shawn Mendes If I Can't Have You
449 Against All Authority When The Rain Begins To Fall
450 Collin Raye One Boy, One Girl

451 Beyoncé Diva
452 "Weird Al" Yankovic Christmas at Ground Zero
453 Oasis All Around The World
454 KT Tunstall Suddenly I See
455 Rusted Root Send Me On My Way
456 Five Finger Death Punch Jekyll and Hyde
457 Chris Brown f/ Lil Wayne & Busta Rhymes Look At Me Now
458 Dropkick Murphys The Spicy McHaggis Jig
459 Darryl Worley I Miss My Friend
460 Knox Not The 1975

461 River City Rebels Glitter And Gold
462 Cypress Hill (Rock) Superstar
463 Family Guy Cast Family Guy Main Title
464 Akon Angel
465 Dylan Hyde Clearly
466 Ricochet Daddy's Money
467 She Wants Revenge A Little Bit Harder Now
468 The Dodos Fools
469 Disturbed The Sound of Silence
470 Sam Smith Money On My Mind

471 Will Smith f/ K-Ci Will 2K
472 Post Sex Nachos Supergirl
473 The Scally Cap Brats Whiskey, Beer, and Cider
474 Charlie Puth One Call Away
475 Joe Walsh Ordinary Average Guy
476 Everyone Is Dirty Meltyface
477 Kids On A Crime Spree Saddest Time of Year
478 BETWEEN FRIENDS Bruise
479 Naked Giants Dead/Alien
480 Phil Collins A Groovy Kind of Love

481 Foals Mountain at My Gates
482 Bob Carlisle Butterfly Kisses
483 Aerosmith Come Together
484 Godsmack Come Together
485 Little Feat Let It Roll
486 Olly Murs Dance with Me Tonight
487 Miley Cyrus Twinkle Song
488 Aloe Blacc My Way
489 Assorted Jelly Beans No Time
490 Rod Stewart The Motown Song

491 Phil Collins Everyday
492 Billy Idol Mony Mony
493 Swingin' Utters The Fake Rat of Dave Navarro
494 WHY? Good Friday
495 Jamie Foxx f/ T-Pain Blame It
496 Arctic Monkeys R U Mine?
497 Audioslave We Got The Whip
498 Giant Burger Chocolate Bar
499 Billy Joel The River of Dreams
500 Rod Stewart This Old Heart of Mine

501 Jess Glynne Hold My Hand
502 The Beatles Honey Pie
503 JAŸ-Z & Alicia Keys Empire State Of Mind
504 Smash Mouth I'm A Believer
505 Barenaked Ladies If I Had $1,000,000
506 The Heights How Do You Talk To An Angel?

The Actual 250 Greatest Songs of the Century So Far

Rolling Stone needs to stop doing lists like this because they're always bad and wrong and then I have to correct everything and hastily throw together a list that is better and more accurate. Stop making more work for me. This blog is supposed to be over and done.

1. Rihanna & Calvin Harris - We Found Love
2. TV On The Radio - Staring At The Sun
3. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Maps
4. T.I. - What You Know
5. D'Angelo - 1000 Deaths
6. Outkast - B.O.B. (Bombs Over Baghdad)
7. No Age - Teen Creeps
8. Maren Morris - 80s Mercedes
9. Chappell Roan - Good Luck, Babe!
10. Fetty Wap - Trap Queen
11. Miguel - Adorn
12. Turnstile - Blackout
12. Wilco - I Am Trying To Break Your Heart
14. Carly Rae Jepsen - Boy Problems
15. Rihanna - Needed Me
16. Lil Wayne ft Babyface - Comfortable
17. Frank Ocean - Swim Good
18. Kacey Musgraves - High Horse
19. Gucci Mane - Lemonade
20. Radiohead - 15 Step
21. Missy Elliott - Get Ur Freak On
22. At the Drive-in - Pattern Against User
23. Amerie - 1 Thing
24. Deerhunter - Nothing Ever Happened
25. Sabrina Carpenter - Taste
26. Power Trip - Armageddon Blues
27. Ariana Grande - No Tears Left To Cry
28. Midlake - Young Bride
29. The Strokes - Reptilia
30. Playboi Carti - Magnolia
31. And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead - Relative Ways
32. Mindforce - Excalibur
33. Guided By Voices - Overloaded
34. Ovlov - Where's My Dini
35. UNK ft Outkast & Jim Jones - Walk It Out (Remix)
36. Three 6 Mafia - Stay Fly
37. *NSYNC - Bye Bye Bye
38. Deftones - Change (In The House Of Flies)
39. Rihanna ft Drake - Work
40. Unwound - Demons Sing Love Songs
41. Charli XCX - Party 4 U
42. D'Angelo - The Charade
43. Wayne Wonder - No Letting Go
44. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Heads Will Roll
45. Caribou - Melody Day
46. The Used - Blue and Yellow
47. Robyn - Hang With Me
48. Chappell Roan - Casual
49. Madvillain - Great Day
50. Florida Georgia Line - Countryside
51. Ne-Yo - Because Of You
52. Kylie Minogue - Love at First Sight
53. Clipse - Ride Around Shining
54. Ovlov - The Well
55. Diiv - Brown Paper Bag
56. Tony Molina - Don't Come Back
57. Queens of the Stone Age - The Lost Art of Keeping A Secret
58. Tyler The Creator - New Magic Wand
59. Viper - Hey Maybe One Day You'll See Me Again
60. Rihanna - Kiss It Better
61. Kevin Krauter - Pretty Boy
62. Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats - Ritual Knife
63. At the Drive-In - One Armed Scissor
64. Sky Ferreira - Everything Is Embarrassing
65. A$AP Rocky ft Drake, 2 Chainz, Kendrick Lamar - Fuckin' Problems
66. The Arcade Fire - The Suburbs
67. Maren Morris - My Church
68. Jimmy Eat World - Work
69. Alex G - Proud
70. Pill - Trap Goin' Ham
71. Caribou - Sun
72. Deerhunter - Strange Lights
73. Valee ft Jeremih - Womp Womp
74. Radiohead - Morning Bell
75. Good Morning - Warned You
76. El Guincho - Bombay
77. Ashlee Simpson - Pieces Of Me
78. The Shins - Kissing The Lipless
79. Radiohead - Optimistic
80. Keane - Somewhere Only We Know
81. Ariana Grande - Thank U, Next
82. Beach Fossils - Don't Fade Away
83. Anz ft George Riley - You Could Be
84. Deftones - Digital Bath
85. Ovlov - Strokes
86. M.I.A. - Paper Planes
87. Boris & Michio Kurihara - You Laughed Like A Water Mark
88. Radiohead - Backdrifts
89. Outkast - Ms. Jackson
90. Kelly Clarkson - Since U Been Gone
91. Big Thief - Not
92. The Rubs - Wrong Right Girl
93. Courtney Barnett & Kurt Vile - Over Everything
94. Trinidad James - All Gold Everything
95. Yuck - Get Away
96. Sabrina Carpenter - Espresso
97. Annie - Heartbeat
98. Charli XCX - Apple
99. DMX - Who We Be
100. The Chats - Smoko
101. Nicki Minaj - Did It On Em
102. Real Estate - Crime
103. Muse - Hysteria
104. Steve Lacy - Playground
105. Aaliyah - Try Again
106. Deftones - Rx Queen
107. Fury - Angels Over Berlin
108. No Age - Genie
109. Windhand - Grey Garden
110. Elliott Smith - Son Of Sam
111. Ringo Deathstarr - Slack
112. The Killers - When You Were Young
113. No Age - Sleeper Hold
114. Ovens - Running In Place
115. Wiz Khalifa - Black and Yellow
116. D'Angelo - Prayer
117. The-Dream - Yamaha
118. Uffie - Pop The Glock
119. Crystal Castles ft Robert Smith - Not In Love
120. La Roux - Bulletproof
121. Radiohead - Everything In Its Right Place
122. Lady Gaga - Poker Face
123. *NSYNC - Girlfriend
124. CSS - Alala
125. The Shins - So Says I
126. Stacie Orrico - Stuck
127. Modest Mouse - Tiny Cities Made Of Ashes
128. Addison Rae - Fame Is A Gun
129. Electric Wizard - Funeralopolis
130. Taylor Swift - Style
131. Mason Ramsey - Twang
132. Playboi Carti - Sky
133. Kanye West ft Kendrick Lamar - No More Parties In LA
134. Prince - Call My Name
135. Deftones - Feiticeira
136. PinkPantheress ft Ice Spice - Boy's A Liar Part 2
137. Rihanna - Same Ol' Mistakes
138. Earl Sweatshirt ft RZA - Molasses
139. And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead - How Near How Far
140. Radiohead - In Limbo
141. Pinback - From Nothing To Nowhere
142. The Click Five - Just The Girl
143. Ryan Leslie - Diamond Girl
144. Ween - Gabrielle
145. Kanye West - Flashing Lights
146. Mike Jones - Back Then
147. Dismemberment Plan - Superpowers
148. SZA - Kill Bill
149. Sedona - Sharkbite
150. Lorde - What Was That
151. Jai Paul - Jasmine Demo
152. The Rubs - Wrap My Life
153. DNCE - Cake By The Ocean
154. Weezer - King of The World
155. Silversun Pickups - Melatonin
156. Wilco - Handshake Drugs
157. Slipknot - Duality
158. Troye Sivan - Got Me Started
159. T.I. - Why You Wanna
160. Radiohead - Pyramid Song
161. UGK ft Outkast - Int'l Players Anthem
162. Lil B - Hipster Girls
163. PJ Harvey ft Thom Yorke - This Mess We're In
164. Turnstile - Holiday
165. Beak> - Eggdog
166. Surface To Air Missive - Life Is So Sad
167. Flasher - Who's Got Time
168. Built To Spill - Goin' Against Your Mind
169. The Darkness - Growing On Me
170. Sabrina Carpenter - Manchild
171. Kim Petras - I Don't Want It At All
172. Lil Yachty - Bring It Back
173. Ty Dolla Sign ft Babyface - Solid
174. Hatchie - Obsessed
175. Turnstile - I Don't Wanna Be Blind
176. The Tubs - Illusion Pt 2
177. PinkPantheress - Illegal
178. Lil Nas X - Sun Goes Down
179. Nicki Minaj - Come On A Cone
180. Animal Collective - What Would I Want? Sky
181. Ted Leo/Rx - The Ballad Of The Sin Eather
182. Against Me! - Borne On The FM Waves Of The Heart
183. D'Angelo - Another Life
184. Santana ft Michelle Branch - The Game Of Love
185. Nicki Minaj - Stupid Hoe
186. Lil B - No Black Person Is Ugly
187. Two Inch Astronaut - Foulbrood
188. Mike Jones ft Paul Wall - Still Tippin'
189. Phoenix - Napoleon Says
190. Kylie Minogue - Come Into My World
191. Cam'ron ft Juelz Santana - Hey Ma
192. System Of A Down - Chop Suey!
193. Ying Yang Twins - Wait (The Whisper Song)
194. Jagged Edge ft Nelly - Where The Party At
195. Surface To Air Missive - Get In The Truck
196. D'Angelo - Really Love
197. Justin Timberlake - Nothin' Else
198. The Darkness - Love Is Only A Feeling
199. Rihanna ft SZA - Consideration
200. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Y Control
201. Wilco - Jesus, etc.
202. TV On The Radio - Province
203. Dua Lipa - Break My Heart
204. Charli XCX - Boys
205. Kitty Pryde - Okay Cupid
206. Alex G - Bobby
207. Power Trip - Executioner's Tax
208. Kendrick Lamar - King Kunta
209. Nicki Minaj ft Drake & Lil Wayne - Truffle Butter
210. Mac Demarco - Ode To Viceroy
211. Tinashe ft Schoolboy Q - 2 On
212. MGMT - The Youth
213. Ariana Grande ft The Weeknd - Love Me Harder
214. Jennifer Lopez ft French Montana - I Luh Ya Papi
215. Jay-Z - Girls Girls Girls
216. Frank Ocean - Thinkin About You
217. Kesha - Tik Tok
218. Deftones - Sextape
219. Shellac - A Prayer To God
220. A Tribe Called Quest ft Kendrick Lamar - Conrad Tokyo
221. Alex G - Kicker
222. Pearl Jam - Unemployable
223. Interpol - Evil
224. Deftones - Minerva
225. The Anniversary - All Things Ordinary
226. Daft Punk - One More Time
227. Grass Is Green - Panera
228. Thom Yorke - The Eraser
229. Homeshake - Heat
230. Three 6 Mafia - From Da Back
231. The Strokes - New York City Cops
232. Janet Jackson - Someone To Call My Lover
233. Tommy Richman - Million Dollar Baby
234. Mahmundi - Imagem
235. Charli XCX - Talk Talk
236. Loona / Odd Eye Circle - Girl Front
237. Magdalena Bay - Image
238. Troye Sivan - Rush
239. Beak> - Brean Down
240. Phoenix - Sometimes In The Fall
241. CKY - Flesh Into Gear
242. Queens Of The Stone Age - Monsters In The Parasol
243. Palehound - Healthier Folk
244. Solange - Losing You
245. Pill - Dimes Of Hard
246. Beyonce ft Andre 3000 - Party
247. Japandroids - Young Hearts Spark Fire
248. The Rubs - Impossible Dream
249. Gridiron - Mascot
250. A Tribe Called Quest ft Andre 3000 - Kids


Stuff that almost made it:
Tkay Maidza - U-Huh
Neon Indian - Hex Girlfriend
Mariah Carey & Miguel - Beautiful
Warpaint - Love Is to Die
Danny Brown - Combat
Mz Sassy - Take Me To The Liquor Store
Rihanna - James Joint
Dornik - Something About You
Travis Scott - Sicko Mode
Ovlov - The Great Ohmu
Hospitality - It's Not Serious
Pusha T - Numbers On The Boards
Joanna Gruesome - Wussy Void
Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks - Stick Figures In Love
Lil Wayne & Rick Ross - John
Deerhoof - Chandelier Searchlight
Merchandise - I Locked The Door
Justin Bieber - Runaway Love Remix
Yo La Tengo - Pass The Hatchet I Think I'm Goodkind
The Mars Volva - L'Via L'Viaquez
T.A.T.U. - All The Things She Said
Yo Majesty - Club Action
TV On The Radio - Wolf Like Me
Simian Mobile Disco - I Believe
Death From Above 1979 - Romantic Rights
Carly Rae Jepsen - Emotion
Candy - Distorted Dreams
Lily Konigsberg - Sweat Forever
Hum - Step Into You
DaBaby ft Offset - Babysitter
Denzel Curry ft Rick Ross - Birdz

New Years Eve Show 2024 (Top 100 of 2024)

100. Bodysync x Dazy - Back Of My Mind
99. Tate McRae - 2 Hands
98. Enemic Interior - Cos a Cos
97. Peso Pluma ft Rich The Kid - Gimme A Second
96. Schedule 1 - Drifting
95. Container - Yacker
94. Zero Point Energy - Closer to You
93. Beak> - Strawberry Line
92. The Hard Quartet - Hey
91. Nilufer Yanya - Like I Say (I Runaway)

90. Chat Pile - Tape
89. Sedona - Deadweight
88. Anxious - Counting Sheep
87. Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats - Solo La Morte Ti Ammanetta
86. Darkthrone - Black Dawn Affiliation
85. Arstioir Lifsins - Eftr Bjartlogar Hrots Hreggs Kveikja Ognarstrioan Ulf Sordar Grasinu
84. Sheer Mag - Moonstruck
83. Jayson Green & The Jerk - I Need Love
82. Dry Erase - Claude Is Cold
81. Beak> - Hungry Are We

80. 360 - Charli XCX
79. Persher - Read Me Some Sci-Fi
78. Quid Quo - Circles
77. Disintegration - Abandon
76. Thee Oh Sees - Zipper
75. LL Cool J ft Saweetie - Proclivities
74. The Jesus Lizard - Alexis Feels Sick
73. Kendrick Lamar - Squabble Up
72. Madison Beer - Make You Mine
71. Flo Milli ft Lil Yachty - Never Lose Me

70. Everything Is Romantic - Charli XCX
69. Oso Oso - That's What Time Does
68. Her New Knife - Purepurepure
67. Sedona - Baby Run
66. Beak> - Denim
65. Addison Rae - Aquamarine
64. Dry Erase - Planet B Pill
63. Sean Henry - Burn It Out
62. Beabadoobee - Beaches
61. Maxo Kream ft Tyler The Creator - Cracc Era

60. Montel Palmer - Talk To Me
59. Howell Dawdy - I Need Some Help
58. Julie - Very Little Effort
57. Quicksand - Supercollider
56. Porcelain - Plastic
55. The Jesus Lizard - Grind
54. The Cure - Alone
53. Charli XCX - Sympathy Is A Knife
52. Milly - Blocked On Everything
51. Nilufer Yanya - Method Actor

50. Darkside - Graucha Max
49. Bullion ft Carly Rae Jepsen - Rare
48. NYC Knockouit - Stunadz Anthem
47. Magdalena Bay - Death & Romance
46. Homeless Cadaver - Emergency Circumcision
45. Snoozer - Love's Permission
44. Joey Valance & Brae - John Cena
43. Internet Girl - Government Name
42. Charli XCX - I Think About It All The Time
41. Sabrina Carpenter - Espresso

40. Chat Pile - Masc
39. NewJeans - How Sweet
38. Classic Traffic - Missing Person
37. Kim Gordon - Bye Bye
36. Charli Xcx - Von Dutch
35. The Cure - A Fragile Thing
34. Kendrick Lamar - Not Like Us
33. Milly - Spilling Ink
32. David Nance - Mock The Hours
31. Persher - Portable Aquarium

30. Internet Girl - Pull Up
29. Charli XCX and Lorde - Girl So Confusing version with Lorde
28. Marcel Wave - Peg
27. Smelter - In Spades
26. MJ Lenderman - She's Leaving You
25. Milly - Running The Madness
24. Denzel Curry ft Kenny Mason - SKED
23. Narrow Head - Love Sick
22. Alien Nosejob - The Executioner
21. Julie - Feminine Adornments
20. Beak> - The Seal

19. Facs - Wish Defense
19. Addison Rae - Diet Pepsi
17. Doechii - Nissan Altima
16. The Jesus Lizard - Hide and Seek
15. MJ Lenderman - Wristwatch
14. Tatyana - Down Badd
13. Charli XCX - Talk Talk
12. Pissed Jeans - Everywhere Is Bad
11. Sabrina Carpenter - Bed Chem

10. Disintegration - In Your Diary
09. Magdalena Bay - Image
08. Julie - Clairbourne Practice
07. The Garden - Filthy Rabbit Hole
06. Diiv - Brown Paper Bag
05. Charli XCX - Apple
04. Tommy Richman - Million Dollar Baby
03. The Cure - All I Ever Am
02. Sabrina Carpenter - Taste
01. Chappell Roan - Good Luck, Babe

Living+ 2023: #25 to #1

How is Living+ 2023 even happening? Is another of our grueling 8-months-late end-of-year lists really necessary? Why not just throw together another Spotify playlist and call it a day? Are we really that interested in I wonder what it would look like? to justify that level of time committment? Years ago, we didn't care. We just wrote whatever and posted whatever. What happened to the spontaneity?

Feel free to observe and/or "check out" the carefully selected photos and font sizes, but the track descriptions (mostly Succession pilled) make less sense than ever.

Do not read.

#25. Sweeping Promises "Eraser"
This will age us, but no one should be reading this anyway: From the mid to late 80s, both Nickelodeon and PBS spent much of their budgets on import shows from UK, Canada, and Japan. Something about "Eraser's" super-analog vocal treatment sparks a very specific odd nostalgia for the music on some of these shows. To be fair, we first noticed this (likely unintentional) reference in a few other moments from Good Living Is Coming For You (SPs' Tascam 4-track triumph, released uncharacteristically hybrid from both Sub Pop and Feel It), like the main vocal hook in "Throw Of The Dice" for example.

We'll attempt a pinpoint, but it's just not gonna happen: It's somewhere around 1985, resting between the largely recycled score on BBC's Danger Mouse (reran at 7:30PM daily on Nick through to the end of 1987) and a handful of the outside-commissioned shorts aired between the narrative segments on Sesame Street. Or something else adjacent to one of these faint TV memories. A cluttered list of possibilities could fill yet another gruellingly tedious blog post, so we'll stop right there.

#24. Sedona "Touch & Go"
Again, we're not really interested in zoning on the specific references, but "Touch & Go" would have fit perfectly on our best of 2005 - a fresh POV resting nicely alongside Avril, Clarkson, Hilary, and Jessica's catchiest summer songs. Maybe Sedona will finally release that long-teased LP sometime soon. Or maybe not. All we're saying is, take a good look at how well this formula worked for fellow pop songsmith Chappell Roan: A seemingly endless string of singles (nine total) since 2020 finally got sequenced alongside 4 or 5 new jams to comprise one of the most delightfully solid full lengths of this decade. At this point, Sedona has a strong enough back catalogue to achieve something very similar. Plus, we want that vinyl. Where's the vinyl?


#23. Yo La Tengo "Sinatra Drive Breakdown"



#22. Troye Sivan "One Of Your Girls"


#21. Dazy "Forced Perspective"


#20. 100 Gecs "The Most Wanted Person In The United States"
By the end of 2023, some intern at Fox News selected this wacky jam to segue into a commercial break during one of their cult talk shows for dumbasses. "I turned on the news and it said..." A few million boomers' first exposure to those "boing" samples may have unlocked some extreme impulsions: Hours later, both My Pillow and Liberty Mutual reported mysterious brief skyrockets in their sales figures, likely thanks to The Gecs' bonkers-as-fuck production - perhaps their finest to date.

This brings us to our one gripe: The production is so hilarious and fun that it almost makes it too easy to forgive them for its lyrical laziness, settling on multiple placeholder words throughout a repeated one-line refrain that an average cheeky third grader could have made up during recess. "And it said? THAT I was?" On a 26-minute 10-song album that took them 4 years to complete, that's the best they could think of? "The #1 most wanted in the United States" sounds pretty exciting, but they couldn't think of a more descriptive word than "PERSON?" It's like getting a perfect score on the SATs and then spelling your name wrong. We prefer its smokin' bridge chant "Is it hot like that? Yeah it's hot like that" and juvenile nonsense-verses.

With compartmentalization properly adjusted, we're finally ready to entertain a few rock crits' Ween comparisons dating back to 2019. "Money Machine" is basically "You Fucked Up" for the digital age, while "Doritos and Fritos" could feasibly pass as a lost reimagining from GodWeenSatan-era. Despite these, "The modern day Ween" label feels overall inaccurate, since 100 Gecs are the first of their kind. More accurately, they occupy the long-absent major-label weirdo contingent once fulfilled by the likes of Dean and Gene, alongside Butthole Surfers, Daniel Johnston, Mr. Bungle, Flaming Lips, and The Frogs. With Alex G recently signing to a major, the space is again occupied by at least two of these bands -- not exactly The New Weirdo Renaissance, but perhaps just enough to spark other musicians' creativity in a similar direction. The freaks of Gen Z deserve more ass-kicking weirdos.


#19. The Hives "Bogus Operandi"
Who's been gatekeeping The Hives 2.0 and never told us they were still kicking ass? Without checking every Hives release since 2004, would it be crazy to call this their best song in over 20 years? Does it smoke "Walk Idiot Walk" from 2004? Was "Walk Idiot Walk" a bizarre, underwhelming choice for their 2nd album's lead single? Were we familiar with scene-club indie-dance fashion kids way back in 2004? Why was that a thing? Is the video for "Bogus Operandi" the best video of 2023? Or at least in the top 5? Should we regret not doing a videos list last year? Should we maybe just throw one together right now? Are we able to think of 10 videos off the top of the head? Would it be fair to just say "Got Me Started," "The Hillbillies," the OPN video with The Donut Hole, and "Bogus Operandi" are probably somewhere in the top 6? Was this song a huge hit on modern rock stations, and if not why not?

Please limit your essay response to 100 words because we don't have all day over here.

Extra credit question: Why don't The Hives have a Bandcamp?


#18. Tkay Maidza "WUACV"



#17. Melenas "Bang"



#16. Smelter "New Skin"


#15. Troye Sivan "Rush"


#14. Baby Keem & Kendrick Lamar "The Hillbillies"
Let's talk about Kendrick and Drake.

Actually let's mostly talk about Drake and the underlying source of his ridicule. Why is he never taken seriously as a rap artist, gettin' in squabbles left and right? Our best guess: Drake lives in denial. He hates that he's has no control over his permanent branding as "pop star that raps," instead of a cred-worthy "rap artist." Dorky, perpetually 22-years-old, unfathomably rich and famous, he's the Justin Timberlake of rappers (minus the DUI). The boy needs to grow up, accept it, and own it, or else this identity crisis will continue for the remainder of his cultural relevance.

Post-acceptance, he can still flex some serious boasts: He's not just a "pop star" but one of the most successful mega-brands in music history. Each new release in his discography has consistantly defied low expectations, despite his cringey forays into Pinkerton-levels of therapy session TMI. The haters (us included) continue expecting a LONG overdue quality plateau, only to be met with a handful of surprisingly edgy tracks year after year, ranging from "challenging and dark" to "bouncy and fun." While nothing earth-shattering, his past decade of releases include none that completely suck. A pop star at his echelon of fame (or infamy, if the POV fits) doesn't need to seek a broad array of genuine dopeness, but it often occurs anyway.

The double-edge sword lies within his tastes and sonic choices. He's clearly a hard worker, dropping "surprise" mixtapes about once per year - a fatiguing pace preferring quantity over quality. But even his more recent drops eventually reveal some edge and dopeness, perhaps due to his desperation for an unachievable level of importance that's entirely on his terms.

He wants what Kendrick's earned - a degree of multi-platinum cred unseen since the days of The Low End Theory and 36 Chambers. But when you're that huge of a pop star, it just doesn't work that way. The degree that he flexes his practically nonexistent "street cred" consistently matches the degree to which he comes off as an oblivious dork.

This trajectory was set in place within the first 10 seconds of his breakthrough smash, 2009's "Best I Ever Had." Over a piano trickle sampling Hamilton Joe Frank & Reynolds' "Fallin' In Love Again," the spoken intro gives major "Lance Bass / Joey Fatone" energy: "You know, a lot of girls be / Thinkin' my songs are about them / This is not to get confused / This one's for you."

Perhaps hurting his case further, "Best I Ever Had" dropped concurrent with an uptick in Noggin's reruns of his 7-season arc on Degrassi: The Next Generation. Fans and non-fans alike will not shake this association. A child star turned rapper that "has bars" is still a former child star. Meanwhile, Kendrick studied and mastered rap throughout his upbringing in Compton. Guess who wins every single time?


#13. Bar Italia "Yes I Have Eaten So Many Lemons Yes I Am So Bitte"
The most frustrating new band of 2023, Bar Italia are perhaps the best recent example of a common issue in indie-rock: Outstanding musical intuition in desperate need of a kickass tough-love producer. On its own, "layer 1" of their canvas glimmers with a refreshing flavor for modern post-punk: Neo-noir, rough around the edges, occasionally weird. But most importantly, their grooves are hot. As the indie-landscape continues its dearth of sexy rhythms, Bar Italia seem effortless in this department - enough that they quickly banged out a surprisingly strong 2nd LP by the year's end.

It's this initial groove-layer that kept us returning, in hopes that their weak spots would eventually grow on us. But they haven't: structural nonsense, grating vocal performances, melodies and lyrics that sound drunkenly shat out at 4AM at an expensive-as-fuck home studio in posh upperclass London.

By the 2nd or 3rd listen through their breakthrough single "Nurse!," we wondered about its creation process too much to enjoy its strengths. Seems transparent enough: One band member recorded the entire song on their own, singing the catchy chorus (the best part) and leaving open space for the others' unwritten vocal parts. It's at this point when lyrics and a "first thing I could think of" vocal melody hastily come together. These pinned-on vocal takes comprise most of our frustration with this project. In a handful of instances, our "grower" theory actually worked, more so on The Twits than on their earlier LP. "Twist" is a good example: A decently structured 6/8 spagetti-western thing with vocals and lyrics that still grate but perhaps not to a degree that drags it to ruins.

Applying process of elimination, their best songs maintain the dope grooves with minimal intrusion from their most destructive tendancies. From these, we hear "Lemons" standing out enough to lock for our Top 20, thanks in no small part to a chill understated vocal performance from the best of their 3 singers (the glasses dude, looks like Adam Friedland).

With all this said, we think they show outstanding potential for future releases, pending they can critically examine their weaknesses and invest some of that inheritance money on a dope producer who can really help them shine. It might even make up for their jaw-dropping trainwreck of a live show, put on full display in their Coachella live stream a few months back. (Mercifully no longer on Youtube, they gave Salem at the Fader Fort something to aspire to.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gb7PjuAdwy8

#12. NewJeans "Super Shy"
Is this the video where the entire 300+ student body of a random primary school in Americatown, USA are shown in a super-wide shot dancing in unison in front of their school? It would seem as though the NewJeans video director may have mistakenly thought this creepy-as-fuck image would make random kids say "wow that's so cool, I would also enjoy it if all 300 kids at my school were to dance as one." Luckily for NewJeans the song is catchy and fun enough that it seemed more awkward than genuinely scary. If the quality of the jam were not so hot, nothing about this image would sit well with us. But this may be testament to the song's dopeness, since we almost forgot this part of the video existed.

Here's a great idea for TikTok: The Don't-Dance Challenge. You win the challenge by just enjoying the song. Nothing against The Do-Dance Challenge, if that's your preference, but the dream keeps dreaming.


#11. Pardoner "Rosemary's Gone"



#10. Brain Tourniquet "An Expression In Pain"



#9. Beach Fossils "Don't Fade Away"


#8. Narrow Head "Caroline"
Music supervisors take note:

"Caroline" is exactly the kind of emo-grunge-core we wish we could hear in an indie-film about 20-somethings coming-of-age midway through a quarter-life-crisis while navigating self-discovery, scraping to get by, trying and slacking, succeeding and failing, finding and losing love, etc, etc. It's exactly the kind of pensive, urgent, loud guitar-rock that should be Track 5 on a 15-song soundtrack full of sonically aligned newish bands like Momma, Rocket, Turnstile, Alien Boy, Young Guv, Glitterer, Dazy, Flasher, Cherry Glazerr, Milly, Ovlov, Jobber, and topped off with a couple hardcore-adjacents like Gel and Fury. Now that's a soundtrack worthy of some excitement, not only to spotlight a truly misrepresented subset of modern youth culture, but also to get these clueless airchair dumbasses to shut their traps about the "dead" or "undead" that rock is allegedly experiencing. Tell that to the packed Momma show we saw at Music Hall last year. Say that into the mic at Ovlov's frantic Market Hotel show a few months back, or at the Milly / Hotline TNT show at Baby's All Right when we were by far the oldest people in the room. (All sold out shows by the way, or close to it). The percentage of loud rock kids across the youth culture spectrum isn't exactly a huge number, but it's a much larger one than "the narrative" would have us believe. And their passion for this music is strong. (Also, most of them fuck with Deftones.)

Singles and Trainspotting are probably the two best examples of '90s soundtrack curation that spoke on behalf of a previously ignored generational subset whose numbers were much larger than assumed. The very idea that this isn't currently happening is ridiculous. For their new film I Saw The TV Glow, filmmaker Jane Schoenbrun perhaps achieved the past decade's strongest attempt - a 16-song collection that reimagines the heights soundtracks could have reached in the 2010s, following the strength of 2009-era comps for Twilight and Jennifer's Body. Had its curation occurred in 2016, I Saw The TV Glow's album would fit this exact criteria. But as a 2024 release, it's showcasing a movement that's already been well-covered and packaged as its own era in the rock trajectory. Quickly glancing, we see solo-Hop Along, solo-Chairlift, Phoebe, Snail Mail, Jay Som. You'll hear their pretty/sad voices all the time on NPR and SiriusXMU. 50-something indie dudes love attending their shows. It's not necessarily the exciting, youthful bombshell we're describing here, but it's still the closest we've heard in a while. So keep them coming. The door's wide open. More hot soundtracks, pleeease.


#7. Turnstile "Everything You Know"
Here's the only song on Living+ 2023 that technically hasn't been released yet, and we're not sure why.

Here's our weird anecdote: We binged through Season 3 of I Think You Should Leave about a week after it dropped on Netflix, not realizing the cheesy-sounding rock song prominently featured in episode 4 was a new song from our favorite current rock band. We saw a Stereogum headline mention something about a new Turnstile song appearing on the show, and confusion settled after realizing this same cheesy song was in fact Turnstile. A few months later while compiling thoughts and info for a "2023 TV and Movies" podcast discussion, the extended separation from our initial impression made a huge difference. Suddenly, this mysterious jam became firmly brain-stuck in one of those 3-day extended remixes, subconsiously looping over and over, both at work and during sleep.

We quickly related to the guy from the sketch, fueled with entirely unearned rebellion and youthful excitement. The Turnstile boys are keeping us young. We're dumbfounded why Roadrunner has yet to capitalize on such a great song. Perhaps some legal bullshit with Netflix?

But more than anything else in that moment, we needed a way to hear it while driving. Without a presence on any major or less-than-major streaming services, we tried an old-fashioned mp3 download from Soulseek and still found nothing. No audio extractions, no fan edits. But we did find the episode's video file. So what if we just tried that? Let's give it a shot...

A few minutes after the video file completed, we dragged it into Audacity where a very strange, unexpected discovery occurred: The audio of this episode had split into 6 seperate stereo tracks, perhaps in their respective "surround sound" channels. We're not sure exactly how that works. But even more relevant to our mission, two of these tracks contained only music with no dialogue, making it all the easier to isolate the song for our own special "fan edit." About 30 minutes later, our hasty-yet-asskicking edit was complete.

Should we share this edit with the world? Believe it, we tried. Soundcloud and Youtube immediately rejected our upload citing copyright claims, which must be why it's still impossible to locate an audio stream. The only exception we could find is the one embedded below -- a fan edit that adheres to a conventionally longer 3+ minute structure than what Turnstile likely laid to tape. It's far off enough from the original recording that Soundcloud hasn't flagged it yet, making it the only currently available version.

At least one Reddit poster seems convinced that this song, while written and performed by Turnstile, is actually the band playing a character created by Tim Robinson. The character is "The Everything-You-Knows" performing a song called "Listening." While not unfeasible, this conflicts with the song's metadata tags on Shazam and Spinitron, both of which mysteriously vanished from these 2 services at some point during August 2024. But until a more official source says otherwise, the song info is Turnstile, "Everything You Know," Roadrunner Records, 2023.


#6. Chappell Roan "Red Wine Supernova" / "After Midnight"
The ascent of Chappell Roan is by far the most exciting thing to happen in pop music since the turn of the decade. "Last summer, she was a camp counselor. This summer, she’s a femininomenon." Yeah, no kidding. We're hooked deep into this one, mesmerized by how good it feels to witness her story unfolding in real time. The underdog triumphs. Finally!

Savor this moment, kids. And then brace yourselves for a possible oversaturation. A multitude of story re-tellings might arrive after the album hits #1 (perhaps in the next few weeks, symbolically overtaking Taylor Swift's position), and then re-entering at #1 after the Grammys (where she has a remarkably solid shot of winning Album Of The Year).

The story: Seeds planted upon album release -> Seeds sprout throughout her 2 months of shows with Olivia Rodrigo -> "The little sprout that could" reaches full bloom just in time for Coachella, delivering an explosively ultra-confident yet endearingly human performance, conveniently live streaming to the entire world via Youtube. By the end of the month, she's interviewed by Elton John, while Bonnaroo uncharacteristically but wisely moves her from side- to main-stage.

Seemingly overnight, she's an actual megastar, tapping into a deep level of mature listener connection envied by most pop artists whose initials aren't T.S. As the era of stan culture all but diminishes the impact of the so-called "important" musician, Chappell Roan embodies a non-superficial no-bullshit necessity. She represents so much for so many different types of people, while her palpably loveable and approachable aura only amplifies her album's bangers-per-capita (essentially 10 singles, plus 4 exceptional album tracks that any other artist would gladly drop as their lead single). Bangers, coolness, and actual importance: The ultimate triple threat of 2024.

So now that's out of the way, here's what we really wanted to dig into - the largely unexplored peculiarities of this whole thing:

- She's not a former child star, an actor, or a model. She's not indebted to nepotism.
- Nothing about this record suggests "boardroom approved."
- Released by an offshoot of Island Records who clearly had no idea what they had on their hands, the record was not well promoted upon release.
- There was no "accidental internet glitch" such as the sus Youtube algorithm push for Phoebe Bridgers' "Kyoto" video in 2020.
- Disney's endless PR cash was not on hand to fabricate auto-streaming confrontations or high-profile playlisting favors, such as those ensuring the instant success of a song like "Driver's License" by shoving it in people's faces ad nauseum.
- Initial reviews were mixed. Pitchfork cluelessly scored it a 7.2 and somewhat egregiously described "After Midnight" as "otherwise unremarkable."***
- Typically a Hail Mary promo boost for a pop record of this quality (ie Body Talk, Sucker, Emotion), an end-of-year listicle consensus barely materialized.^^^

It's not like Chappell Roan started the year 2024 from zero, but she made the absolute most of what hints of momentum she could collect and funneled all of it into an explosive live experience that doesn't need pyro, with a refreshingly sparse stage plot - just Chappell, her songs, and an ass-kicking 3-piece backing band. She built her brand almost entirely around her own self-confident stage persona, generating buzz through old fashioned word-of-mouth.

It's as close to organic as ascent-to-stardom can get these days - a success story that owes the machine virtually nothing.



***Note: While working on this very large blog post, we noticed at least 2 other music writers suggesting "After Midnight" as Chappell Roan's worst song, largely conflicting with fans' enthusiasm. We're prepared to defend. If the design of Midwest Princess functions (among a sea of enumerable functions) among the all-time greatest collections tributing the past 25 years of pop stars, "After Midnight" is a great example of homage-surpasses-influence. In this case, it's Katy Perry's Teenage Dream LP - specifically, the party jams "California Gurls" and "Last Friday Night," the latter of which we largely regret placing as our 5th best song of 2011.

^^Note: Friend-of-the-blog Maura Johnston placed it #4 on Time's list, while friend-of-friends-of-the-blog Rob Sheffield largely advised Rolling Stone's #12 placement. But at the end of 2023, nearly all the consensus instead surrounded the comparitively whiny Guts. (Boring.) What should have been 2 very high profile promo boosts felt more like two larger than average droplets landing in a gigantic listicle bucket. While this problem continues suppressing so many of the past decade's best albums, it's refreshing as hell to finally witness a genuine breakthrough side-stepping broken industry norms.

#5. PinkPantheress ft Ice Spice "He's A Liar Pt 2"
“We don’t need to repeat a verse, we don’t need to have a bridge. We don’t need a long outro.”

We would prefer to never know this quote existed. On its own, "Boy's A Liar Pt 2" is one of the breeziest summer songs in recent memory, and doesn't seem deserving of analysis beyond "is it catchy? is it fun? is it summery? yes, yes, and yes." Without the fun-sucking microscopic analysis so inherent to modern pop music, it's easily one of the 10 best songs of 2023.

But since she brought it up...

This is not the first time a flawed-yet-serious jam still felt huge enough to qualify for a year's Top 10. The one that comes to mind most often is "2 On," when Schoolboy Q's distractingly raunchy bridge felt like a phoned-in stain on an otherwise perfect pop song. It's not entirely uncommon these days.

Okay, let's talk about song structure.

So PinkPantheress wants to break the rules of structural pop convention. No problem. Do what you need to do. Robert Pollard's spent the last 40 years writing hundreds of songs that experiment with convention. The difference: Pollard's also written several hundred songs that adhere to those same conventions. Are we purposely removing structural elements for its own sake, just to generate Twitter arguments? Or are we experimenting out of love for the form?

Has PinkPantheress earned the right to become a public figure who decided that she knows better than the past 60 years of successful pop songwriters?

Step one: In order to break the rules effectively, you need to listen and study to gain an understanding of why conventions work as well as they do.

Step two: Learn to create a mental image of "perfect structure." Even without the acumen to articulate why, learn how to identify a perfectly crafted song when you hear it.

Step 2.5: Step two enhances ability to ID tricks and imperfections, when they elevate dopeness, when they make a song slightly worse, when repetition works, when a motif becomes too repetitive or not repetitive enough. ID the basics of key changes and how they may or may not psychologically elevate a listening experience by introducing sounds or notes not yet heard throughout a song. ID examples of when imperfections work or don't work, whether intentional or not, both subjectively and objectively.

Step three: Perhaps the most important step for a writer like PinkPantheress who values brevity, learn to identify when a shorter song feels undercooked instead of just right, or when a longer song earns its length instead of tediously plodding.

We're only just now hearing the original "Boy's A Liar" and learned that PinkPantheress's 2nd verse was removed to make room for Ice Spice's bridge, closing with a 4-line rap cadence strongly suggesting "let's bring it on home," at a point in the song that feels only about 40% finished. The fact that PinkPantheress had an opportunity to improve the song's flow by preserving her 2nd verse feels like such a wasted opportunity, choosing instead to keep the song under 2:30 not to help it sound any better but for the sake of brevity itself.

It's still a great song, but its final version does kind of sound like something was accidentally deleted. The transition from Ice Spice's rap back into the pre-chorus strikes us as one of the most effective pop moments of 2023, making it all the more frustrating that it occurs way too early in the song.

Whoever edits Wikipedia made sure to throw in a paragraph about Rolling Stone and Vulture including "Boys a Liar Pt 2" in their notable Grammy snubs, specifically for Record and Song of the Year. Maybe it would've had a better shot if it was structured like a fully formed song instead of a demo.

Repeating a chorus doesn't have to sound repetitive. After mastering the fundamentals of pop structure, the tricks become more obvious. 2nd choruses don't always but occasionally appear with new arrangement detail, or alter half of the chorus's lyrics, or attach a post-chorus section. There's no law that says a chorus can only re-appear later in a song as an exact copy-and-paste of its first occurance. In fact, we wish newer bands would experiment with this more often. But none of this would ever occur to kids who haven't done their homework.

Stop confusing laziness with "breaking convention." Oh you don't like being called lazy? Then maybe prove you're not by learning how to fix clunky structures instead of just hastily pasting together "production + singer" and killing a dope groove dead in its tracks at the 2:29 mark for no reason whatsoever. There's a lot more to songwriting than you might think.


#4. The Tubs "Illusion Pt II"



#3. Chappell Roam "Casual"
This is somewhat bittersweet. At the time, it was very tough to choose a #1 best song of 2022, and so we ended up tying 3 songs as our Top 3. No regrets, but we wish we had known better. The November 3, 2022 review for "Casual" was Pitchfork's only Chappell blurb for quite some time. It did not receive BNM, making it somewhat of an unfindable needle in the track review haystack. We know music writers have to listen through a lot of bullshit on a daily basis, but so do we. "Casual" isn't a grower at all - its first-listen impact felt as immediate as the best tracks on Anti, to us anyway. Within the album context (track 5), its first listen revealed a truly gifted star, songwriter, and vocalist. Is that yet another triple threat? We believe it is. And hey, her singles are still on Bandcamp. Bless her.


For anyone interested, we uncharacteristically fixed the first 25 tracks on our "Waffle Party 2022" Playlist, sneaking in "Casual" and the excellent "My Kink Is Karma" (also from 2022) to positions that felt more accurate to us:

Waffle Party 2022 - Redux
1. Chappell Roan - Casual
2. SZA - Kill Bill
3. Dazy & Militarie Gun - Pressure Cooker
4. Alien Boy - Wondering Still
5. Flasher - I'm Better
6. Momma - Tall Home
7. Nilufer Yanya - The Dealer
8. Carly Rae Jepsen - Talking To Yourself
9. Sevyn Streeter - 23
10. Alex G - Runner
11. Soccer Mommy - Shotgun
12. Harry Styles - As It Was
13. Momma - Speeding 72
14. Chappell Roan - My Kink Is Karma
15. LCD Soundsystem - New Body Rhumba
16. Built To Spill - Never Alright
17. Snail Mail - Feeling Like I Do
18. Nilufer Yanya - L/R
19. Hatchie - Lights On
20. The Rubs - Yer Trouble
21. 100 Gecs - Doritos & Fritos
22. Chat Pile - Lake Time (Mr. Rodan)
23. Nas - Michael & Quincy
24. L.O.T.I.O.N. - Cybernetic Super Lover
25. The Garden - Freight Yard

#2. Troye Sivan "Got Me Started"
Amid packed daily schedules and the push-and-pull shuffle from agents and managers, it's no wonder that neither Brian Cox nor Troye Sivan have any memory of "When Troye Met Brian" - perhaps the crossover event of 2023 and a cautionary tale of jumble-fatique. Neither party recalls their agents saying "You know them, right? Quick photo. The kids will love it." Both Troye Sivan and Brian Cox sleepily replied "what? what's going on?" in unison. 16 seconds later it was done and over. The following morning, an associate first showed Troye Sivan the now-viral photo. Both were perplexed at how his pants were suddenly missing. They were both certain he had been wearing pants at the time, even slightly recalling Brian Cox remarking "hey nice pants," although they later realized this may have been sarcasm. The "blink and you'll miss it" nature of this shuffle-fatique would later influence the music video for "Got Me Started," which shows people running and eventually throwing themselves into odd choreographed positions that are technically aligned with each other but do not resemble actual dancing in the classic "pop music video" sense.

#1. Kurt Vile "Another Good Year For the Roses"
If you had a good 2014 or 2015, then give yourself a pat on the back because those was the last "good" years in the history of the world. Not amazing. Not great. But "good." Since then, no one has had a good year. And if you didn't have a good year-long-stretch at some point between Jan 1, 2014 and Dec 31, 2015, we're sorry to break the news that you've been waiting longer than some other people.

The only actual non-list TMK post of 2023 was about "good music years" vs "bad music years," and an argument against the poptimist assertion that "every music year is good." (We also assessed 2022 as "okay," which we can now confidently re-assess as "very good!" See our Chappell Roan blurb at #3 for more info.)

We forgot to mention something important though: Just as how we're now experiencing a status quo fueled by hyperbolic praise of the modern era, the opposite can be equally as damaging.

Take 1996 for instance. At no other point in history has such a musically generous year met so much influential negativity, to such an unfair degree that it prematurely derailed the essence of the entire decade. Speaking somewhat broadly, the vibe-shift was practically immediate: By the end of January '97, "Wannabe" broke in the U.S,. kicking off this new era; by December '97, only the poppiest or most watered-down fuzz-guitar alternative or golden-era hiphop lingered in the mainstream. Only 3 years earlier, summer '94 felt like such a triumph with the likes of "Sweater Song" and "Loser" hijacking every Top 40 station. The end of '97 felt comparitively sleek, as if every morsel of grit, edge, and sarcasm had all but disintegrated for no good reason, as if someone of influence decided on behalf of everyone that popular music was in danger of getting too good.

How did this entire era flash by so quickly compared to the endlessness of whatever is happening now? Brat and Chappell Roan defined this past summer, but shouldn't there have been more than 2 fun or exciting moments of musical ubiquity? Can Magdalena Bay join the party, or are they too weird?

Kurt Vile says, "One day I'll sit down and write me a letter / Get my shit together." No, we actually need to get our shit together now. Like, right the fuck now.