BIG CHUNGUS 2019: #100 - 81

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100. Lil Nas X “Old Town Road” / Billie Eilish “Bad Guy”
We've been told that 2019 lists are meaningless boomer-fests without these two songs, so we tied them at #100. We've been waiting for the next MC Hammer for a while, and hey it finally happened. "Old Town Road" was the "U Can't Touch This" of 2019, and so that basically makes Billie Eilish the Sinead O'Connor of 2019; "Bad Guy" was her "Nothing Compares 2 U." "Panini" was basically "Pray" because it will be forgotten within 3 years even though it charted decently and scored some radio spins. (This is a stretch, but "Pray" and "Nothing Compares 2 U" share the Prince connection, while "Panini" and Eilish's aesthetic generated inadvertent Cobain comparisons.) To take it a step further, When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? was the I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got of 2019; both hit #1 for several weeks and received massive acclaim including Grammy recognition. Of course, this entails a strong contextual examination of label consolidation's affect on drastically shrunken rotation playlists and longevity of chart hits that don't receive radio spins; for example, "Bury A Friend" was a minor hit on modern rock stations, peaking at #26. Z100 didn't play it, nor did they play "The Emperor's New Clothes" back in 1990. Speaking of Grammys, "Old Town Road" and "U Can't Touch This" were both nominated for Record Of The Year. The main thread connecting all four artists is that they're all largely remembered for peaking with their immensely popular signature songs despite a multitude of false indications that these songs were about to spark much larger careers.



99. Tool “Pneuma”
I like to call this one "Me and the boys."



98. Otoboke Beaver “6 Day Working Week Is A Pain”


97. Palehound “Your Boyfriend’s Gun”



96. Zig Zags “Fallout”



95. 2 Player “Retro South”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4hptT0ihoE

94. Spice Boys “Dream Vendor” / Spice Boys f/ Boys “Think About You A Lot”



93. Slipknot “Unsainted”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpATBBRajP8

92. Stephen Malkmus “Rushing The Acid Frat”
Close enough.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDiqO5VhFPw

91. Saweetie “My Type” / Haroinfather f/ Savagegasp “Tunnel Of Love” / Willow "Wait A Minute"
It didn't take long for TikTok to start heading in the same direction as Facebook -- overtaken by moms and boomers and bad memes. But from January through August 2019, it almost felt like the second coming of Vine, combined with a new "alternative pop" radio format with several meme-ing hits that weren't really popular elsewhere. By the end of the year, "My Type" charted pretty well, but "Tunnel Of Love" never trended any higher than TikTok. The meme-ing deep cut from Willow's 2016 LP threw a serious curveball, although somehow not as leftfield as the slowed down Lana Del Rey cover. "Weird" as a brand could easily come back any time now.



90. Green Druid “The End of Men”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCO01p95ado

89. Ex Hex “Rainbow Shiner”


88. Neil Young + Crazy Horse “Help Me Lose My Mind”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmZvAbFtnwg

87. Purple Mountains “Margaritas at the Mall”


86. Rammstein “Sex”



85. Alex G “Walk Away”


84. Denzel Curry f/ Rick Ross “Birdz”



83. Tropical Fuck Storm “Paradise”



82. Pendant “Through a Coil”


81. David Nance “Meanwhile”



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| 100 - 81 || 80 - 61 || 60 - 41 || 40 - 21 || 20 - 1 |

| All 100 Songs |

LIT AF 2016: #165 - 131

| Follow "LIT AF 2016" on Spotify |

| #200 - 166 | | #165 - 131 | | #130 - 101 | | #100 -71 | | #70 - 41 | | #40 - 21 | | #20 - 1 |

| All 200 Songs |

165. Weezer “L.A. Girlz”

The Weezer of 2013-2016 is the Weezer that should have existed 1997-2000. And by that, we mean that this era would have been drastically improved with crunchier bass tone and Moog synth counter-melodies on every song. (We're specifically longing for Moog on "L.A. Girlz." A lost opportunity.) Weezer can break up now. RIP.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRPnaGzcQbQ

164. Flat Swamp “Don’t Count On Me”
Tambascio's Italian Grill. Intimate locale preparing American & Italian plates, plus thin-crust, hand-tossed pizzas. 1 Dodgingtown Rd, Newtown, CT 06470.


163. Two Inch Astronaut “Personal Life”
The first time we heard "Personal Life," it was preceded by a 30-second a capella 3-part harmony interlude where the title phrase was repeated about 8-10 times. Maybe one day, they will release this version. In the meantime, you can play this song for unironic trucker-hat boss down at the loading docks when he asks "What does that Tool-Wrench Astroboy sound like?"


162. A Giant Dog “Sex & Drugs”


161. Solange "Junie"
The euphoric non-Prince-tribute apex.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eURQLyfW0Ms

160. Gary Young “Spit”
Plantman, where you at?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yvlhzb00X_E

159. Frank Ocean “Ivy”
The kids can tell when journalists try to coin a trend and fail. For 3 days in August 2016, the phrase "millennial whoop" appeared in a few headlines referring to wordless choruses of oo's or oa's sung to unimaginatively simple major-chord melodies. Since August, no one dared utter this horrendously embarrassing phrase ever again. And what's worse, one of the examples cited by The Guardian and Youtube was Frank Ocean's "Ivy," a genuinely good song that has almost nothing in common with anything else cited -- especially since IT HAS NO CHORUS. The bad example that ruined the hypothesis.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dATQf-BjIS8

158. A Tribe Called Quest “Black Spasmodic”
"Black Spasmodic" was the first time we ever heard Backspin 43 (SiriusXM's classic rap station) spin a new song on its release date. And that moment helped further reinforce our confusion regarding the absence of a classic rap station in NYC. Or even better: A "Jack FM" format that primarily celebrates both fresh AND classic Hip-hop, R&B and soul. Hundreds of local businesses in NYC have been patiently longing for this format to help them promote. We're so not kidding.


157. Swim Team “I’m Fine”
2016's 2nd best song about Ken Marino.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_dr2XnJCMk

156. Jackal Onasis “The New Ron”
2016's best song about Ken Marino.



155. Halfsour “Fake Sandwich”
Also known as "Fake News Sandwich." Boston invented college rock: Yay or nay?


154. Kamaiyah "Mo Money Mo Problems"
My man B.I. came down from above. Told me to cool out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVtuzrR44no

153. Lumpy & The Dumpers “I’m Gonna Move To New York”



152. Gucci Mane “Waybach”
FTW you don't really need a publicist for re-branding assistance.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eu13Mmfxctc

151. Joey Purp "Photobooth"


150. N.O.R.E. “Queens”
We really wanted to comment on the DJ tag in the song's first 10 seconds: "Damn Bushrock, that shit's buttery." We tried Googling this but nothing came up. We were wondering who the voice in the DJ tag belongs to and if he will accept our friend request on Facebook.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Y9mcbJca6g

149. PJ Harvey "The Wheel"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ReW0jJkag8

148. Frank Ocean "Pink + White"

https://vimeo.com/184279746

147. Angel Olsen "Sister"
It does kinda plod, but so does sleep paralysis. No Twin Peaks season 3 spoilers PLEASE but we wouldn't be surprised if this showed up in episode one. [Note: This was probably written before the premiere of Twin Peaks' third season.]


146. Nocturnal Habits “Echophilia”
The packaging for Numero Group's intimidatingly enormous series of Unwound reissues seems so rich in aesthetic tastefulness. And now that 2/3's of Unwound have reunited for the Nocturnal Habits LP, we wonder who in God's name approved their logo? We know it's the music that really matters though, so we might just seek a generic vinyl copy with no artwork and drink a beer and rejoice in this sort-of reunion album. Because it might be the closest we ever get to the real thing unless Riot Fest offers them like 50k or some shit.


145. Wrong “Mucilage”
RIYL: Helmet, Pantera, down-tempo Slipknot


144. Foodman “Otonarabi”
Welcome Foodman. We fucked up not including this in Video-Mania 2016 or whatever the fuck it's called.



143. Horse Lords “Truthers”
We already made a Bojack Horselord joke and can't think of anything better.


142. Röyksopp f/ Susanne Sundfør "Never Ever"
Some catchy non-iHeartRadio pop.


141. Field Mouse "Out Of Context"
"Lately, I can't even look at my mother without wanting to stab her repeatedly." Television should never, EVER reboot My So-Called Life. But in the hypothetical universe where this is somehow a good idea, Field Mouse should be somewhere on the soundtrack in one of the scenes where Angela turns up the volume knob on her combination-CD-player-alarm-clock in an effort to rebel against the stronghand of Mom & Dad.


140. Chavez “The Bully Boys”
Now 20 years after Beavis & Butthead's proper series finale, any bands lucky enough to have their video critiqued (even if B&B thought it sucked) should still be asked for a reaction. They're a part of history now. Chavez is a special case, since they're possibly the only instance where Mike Judge now works alongside one of the band members (on Silicon Valley). Dupuis uncovered the story. Clay sez: "I worked at MTV at that time but didn't know Mike. We actually worked with the exact same people when I did those Jimmy the Cabdriver things. So when I saw we were on B&B, I assumed someone had pulled a favor. But then a couple years later, I met Mike through feature writing. I'd written a movie and the executive did Office Space, which Mike was just finishing. And Mike told me no one had put thumbs on the scale. He just saw the video and dug it. Mike always had respect for the Chavez, which is cool because he's a SICK musician. Very, very accomplished stand up bassist. He played in all these very real rockabilly and country bands. He can kind of play anything. Including pedal steel."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBWPU_bBT_A

139. Kitty “Asari Love Song”
Man, fuck your (Kitty) Pryde.


138. Jute Gyte “Palimpsest”
In The Simpsons' episode Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment (S02E13), Bart addressees his Sunday school teacher's lecture about hell asking, "Wouldn't you eventually get used to it, like in the hot tub?" By all accounts, Jute Gyte (also known as The Lord of Bandcamp Blackmetal) and his 2016 output should have placed higher on the Lit As Fuck Mix. But he releases new albums so quickly that the brutality feels samey, even though each new release is truly more insane than the last. If the releases were spread out once every 2 years, we would probably feel differently -- which also means we'll definitely regret this perspective in due time.


137. Kyle Forester “Won’t Go Crazy”
This could be a "Got To Get You Into My Life" type where the muse is Xanax. Although, 1 or 2 lyrics might disprove this idea. Crystal Stilts is Kyle's band, but he now also plays sax and keys in the band Woods. Are they cool? We don't know Woods.


136. Vince Staples “Prima Donna”



135. Schoolboy Q “Black Thoughts”
Blank Face is Schoolboy Q's "fuck the clubs" album. If it's his Cuban Linx, then "Black Thoughts" is his "Heaven And Hell." The golden age is now. [Note: We noticed the clean version cuts out the 2nd half of the word "marijuana."]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZiRGvl7H7Y8

134. The Lemon Twigs "These Words"
Their swag suggests the music will sound like BrokenCyde or 3OH!3, but instead "These Words" sounds like a deep cut from Billy Joel's Piano Man or Streetlife Serenade LPs.


133. KING “The Greatest”
Mohammad Ali was/is The Greatest. Also, Elvis Presley (the rock star) was also the greatest. Although Oprah is technically the true "Greatest," if you think about it. Also, please don't forget, LL Cool J's album G.O.A.T. from 2000 probably marked the invention of the GOAT abbreviation. Ladies Love Cool James, so he's definitely a contributor to this Greatest discussion. Wayne Gretsky was "The Great One," indicating that he is great, but is he "the greatest?" These questions and more can be answered in this song. Also, it's kind of amazing that a group called "KING" has a song called "The Greatest." No offense to KING, but their tracklisting reveals some conceited tendencies. Let's take a quick peek:
1. "The Greatest"
2. "Genius"
3. "Idol"
4. "Worship Me"
5. "I Am God"
6. "Thou Shalt Have No Other Gods Before Me"
7. "Guess Who #1 Is? Close, But You're Wrong, It's Actually Me"
8. "In Case You've Been In A Coma For Your Entire Life, I'm Pretty Much Jesus"
9. Bonus Track "All The Small Things" (Blink 182 cover)
[NOTE: Wow, we do not remember writing any of this.]


132. Ruby Haunt "Honey"
Good fan video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhoJhcnH1n4


131. Oranssi Pazuzu “Vasemman Kaden Hierarkia”


| Follow "LIT AF 2016" on Spotify |

| #200 - 166 | | #165 - 131 | | #130 - 101 | | #100 -71 | | #70 - 41 | | #40 - 21 | | #20 - 1 |

| All 200 Songs |

Ten Nice Songs from 2015 Reissues

Youtube, where ya at?

10. Pavement “Sue Me Jack”

Originally from the b-side of the deleted "Trigger Cut" 7-inch in 1992. Re-released on The Secret History, Volume 1.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-h5fDmYLq7U

9. Neneh Cherry & The Circuit “Dead Come Alive”

From Trevor Jackson Presents Science Fiction Dancehall Classics.
https://soundcloud.com/on-u-sound-records/neneh-cherry-the-circuit-dead-come-alive

8. David Bowie “Holy Holy (Spiders version)”

Originally from the a-side of a deleted 1971 7-inch. Re-released on Five Years (1969 - 1973).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gc1ePZDxIoY

7. Revelons “The Way (You Touch My Hand)”

7-inch from 1979. Released on Ork Records: New York New York.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovM1idnJ4Vo

6. The Coneheads "Out of Conetrol"

Originally from 2014's Total Conetrol cassette. Re-released on 14 Year Old High School PC-Fascist Hype Lords Rip Off Devo for the Sake of Extorting $$$ From Helpless Impressionable Midwestern Internet Peoplepunks L.P.


5. Mary Afi Usuah “Mma Ama Mbo”

Originally from 1975's Ekpenyong Abasi LP.
The song we liked best is not on Youtube. Here's a different song from the same album: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1bIfPOLIWA

4. Francis The Great “Look Up In The Sky”

Originally from 1977's Ravissante Baby LP.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Hhun3NtkTw

3. Alex Chilton “All of the Time”

Originally from 1975's Bach's Bottom LP. Re-released on Ork Records: New York New York.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnqninI9Kd4

2. Lead Belly “They Hung Him on the Cross (Version 1)”

From Lead Belly: The Smithsonian Folkways Collection.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44aTJdCnblM

1. Ata Kak “Obaa Sima”

Originally on cassette in 1994. Preserved at awesometapes.com in 2010 and on vinyl in 2015.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cd0PV82e1jE

celeb jep 96 69

yo did you know 96 is inverted 69

Celebrity Jeopardy 12-07-1996 - watch more funny videos

wtf funny or die has the worst embed code fuck dem g's

We got some prolems. Norm MacDonald wrote the 1st celebrity jeopardy sketch in 1996, but then later after the sketch became "recurring" and other writers seized the brand, they did the joke where Connery says "I'll take THE RAPISTS for $200" and the category is actually "THERAPISTS" and that was straight-up stolen from Benny Hill. Benny did a sketch once where he went up to some dude's door and it say "Therapist" and he separated the nametag so that it said "The rapist," and then he mugs for the camera and the audience is all like "lmao."

If we ever get to speak to Norm MacDonald we will ask him about this because we know Norm would never stoop to intentionally stealing a Benny Hill joke. Maybe it's just one of those obvious-ass jokes.

Guess what else was in 1996? (_|_) (ass)

#91 Brainiac "Hot Seat Can't Sit Down"

"Welcome to earth." - Brainiac after punching aliens in the face in Independence Day

#90 The Presidents Of The United States Of America "Mach 5"

Apparently the brownies from the craft services table were "irresistible" during the video shoot for "Mach 5." Also POTUSA is the ultimate "3rd grade kids screaming and running around during birthday party" band. If you are a parent and your child is 9, you should buy them one of the first two POTUSA CD's. This is what good parenting is all about.

#89 The Pharcyde "Runnin'"

"It's 1995." The singles for this album were all released in '96, but we'll forgive them. "As if."

#88 Ween "You Were The Fool"

The best song from 12 Golden Country Greats still might not be able to eclipse its best moment, which is the Mohammad Ali speech that they were forced to have removed from "Powder Blue." http://youtu.be/EYphFMOs9YE?t=2m52s Although "You Were The Fool" is still A+.

#87 Guided By Voices "Official Ironmen Rally Song"

Bob wrote this one while he was drunk. The feeling is mutual.

#86 The Swirlies "In Harmony New Found Freedom"

WWJD

#85 Soundgarden "Rhinosaur"

"kinda hot in these rhinos" - matt cameron

#84 Eyehategod "Masters of Legalized Confusion"

'96 was immediately pre-"post-junkie chic" which launched in '97... so like fiona apple was cool in '96 cos she looked like she was on heroin, and then in '98 natalie imbruglia was cool cos she looked like she was going through withdrawal

#83 Local H "I Saw What You Did And I Know Who You Are"

Scott Lucas appears to have figured out how to play simultaneous distinct separate guitar and bass parts for this song.

#82 Pavement "Give It A Day"

Seems to be a fan favorite. It's aight.

#81 Tool "Ænema"

Learn ta swim. They used to play this on some "adult" oriented MTV video-block that aired daily between midnight and 12:30 circa May/June 1997, which seemed to exist solely for anyone who really enjoyed JO'ing to Fiona Apple every single night at 12:10AM.

#80 Smashing Pumpkins "Pennies"

"Spoken like a true asshole." - Chubbs from Happy Gilmour to Billy Corgan

#79 John Parish and Polly Jean Harvey "That Was My Veil"

Luv you PJ

#78 Pearl Jam "Smile"

"duuuh i dun like perl jam duhhh im a big dumass duhh" Fuck y'all. Grow up. Even as a pack of punk teen retards, we could tell this was obviously jacked from Neil Young. "I miss you already." Why wasn't this song huge? Still rules.

#77 Fountains Of Wayne "Sink To The Bottom"

Since we've already exhausted the SNL category, we might as well mention the "Bill Brasky was a son of a bitch" sketch also debuted in 1996. They should make an entire 2 hour movie of this shit: http://www.hulu.com/watch/69478

#76 DJ Shadow "What Does Your Soul Look Like (Part 4)"

Huge bass on this one. I wrote a paper about DJ Shadow freshman year of college and my teacher critiqued that he sounded "parasitic." Well yeah... That's the whole point.

#75 Rage Against The Machine "Down Rodeo"

Big ups to Tom Morello for figuring out how to make his guitar sound like a scratching turntable.

#74 Weezer "The Good Life"

"The Good Life" video showcases what we've previously described as "the world's most perfect rock band" and we wholeheartedly stand by this theory. In our humble opinions, tracks 5 through 9 on Pinkerton have some of the craziest and most dramatic bridge-sections ANYONE has yet attempted. The only reason why this isn't higher than #74 can mostly be attributed to the lyric "shakin' booty makin' sweet love all the night" which unfortunately appears in this song three times.

jenny jones night stand 1996

Tonight we'll be taking a look into mothers and their daughters.. *long pause* oh come on now people. Let's get our minds out of the gutter. Can we be adults here please? My first guest tonight is a daughter thinks her mother is restraining her. I'd sure let her put some restraint on me.

Don't pay attention to the next section.

#171 Garbage "Stupid Girl"

#171 The Cardigans "Losers"

This is the first tie because they are kind of the same song and also we forgot #185.
This song foreshadows Gran Turismo the Cardigans next album after this one.

#170 Aphex Twin “Milkman”

Aphex exudes disingenuous attitude. When the milkman delivers the milk in the mornning but also the milkman's wife's giant tata's, which are sung in a manner that expresses preoccupation with something other than milk delivery itself. Richard just wants dem nice tata cans.

#169 Ginuwine "When Doves Cry"

"What do you say we cut the chit-chat a-hole?" - Ginuwine, 1996. PRINCE cover made it to the list.

#168 The Wesley Willis Fiasco "Jesus Is The Answer"

This is the most Rock & Roll song of the entire year. That man can sing great. That was the tone of his voice.

#167 Sleater-Kinney “I Wanna Be Your joey Ramone”

"I heard of dreadlocks, but shitlocks? That ain’t no hair man, take that pile of shit off yo head." - Sleater-Kinney, 1996

#166 Spice Girls "Say You'll Be There"

They invented the "staring into the camera individually" thing. They invented the "one bad singer who has to sing because she's under contract and must sing at least one line." They invited the "strong female = loud obnoxious female" thing. Paradoxical elements... there's some really weak spots, but some really ok spots that aren't hugely offensive. Fuck this song is boring. Sorry.

$165 They Might Be Giants "XTC Vs. Adam ANT"

Even the guys from Sha-na-na can't make up their mind on this one

#164 Rammstein “Das Alte Leid”

these guys REALLY love white people

#163 Nas "Take It In Blood"

This is what them feelins sound like.

#162 Sloan “Everything You’ve done Wrong”

Would you either "Lick the cow's ass" OR "Make out with your mom?" Those are some tough choices.

#161 Tupac Shakur "California Love"

This video was a big jump for Tupac. As soon as he steps on the scene wearing them chucks other proof no slow jam.

#160 RL Burnside “Goin’ Down South”

Blues isn't pretty; blues is all pain. Blues Explosion is agony combustion.

#159 The Cure “Mint Car”

Bob Smith hates "Friday I'm In Love" so much that he wrote and recorded a sequel. Fans aren't really into this one, although how could anyone dislike the nonsense at 1:45: "Ohhh Sumdi kumja hozinawum." Little known fact: Singing along with nonsense can actually earn bonus points.

#158 Dr. Octagon “Girl Let Me touch You there”

lemme take a look

#157 Sublime "Same In The End"

Kentucky Fried Chicken is all i see.

#156 Pavement "Painted Soldiers

Fuck you malkmus I helped out my frinds and gave them cut up chunks of my prescription medication. What the fuck did you ever di????

#155 Big Shug "Crush"

the gang slams more drugs

#154 Butthole Surfers "The Lord Is A Monkey"

bad drugs

ITS ALRIGHT ITS OK THERES SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR JESUS TOLD ME SO

ILX is unveiling their 61 Best Pavement Songs over the next few days.. So far, this is the only one listed (from the Crooked Rain reissue).. I'm not sure what American Movie has to do with this song, but the picture reminded me of how kickass Uncle Bill was... R.I.P. to that dude...

"Plant Man"

We previously posted Elastica's "Connection" and considered Del Amitri's "Roll With Me" in hopes to find those rare moments where B&B may have commented on the entire video.. And surprisingly, I think we may have found yet another! Of course, PLANT MAN! The song's only like 1:55, and I'm pretty sure the whole thing is here, minus a few seconds of the outro...



In the second half when Butthead mentions Nickelodeon and then Beavis starts saying "heyyyy Butthead!" I assumed Mike Judge was making a reference to You Can't Do That On Television's locker jokes, but then I remembered that Mike Judge only references shows from like the 60's and 70's so that wouldn't have made any sense...

90's Jams #17: Pavement "Summer Babe (Winter Version)" (1992)

Pitchfork's most recent efforts at canonizing the 90's resulted in some minor controversy after their questionable decision to award the "song of the decade" to Pavement's "Gold Soundz," one of the great singles released from their 2nd album Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain. As often the case with the internet buzz never being satisfied with anything, issues arose... Is this really "song of the decade" material? Is it even the best song off its album? Some investigation became necessary, as locating previous accolades of this track through internet searching has proven somewhat difficult...

John Peel's listeners voted "Gold Soundz" as the #22 best song of 1994 in his annual "Festive 50" countdown, the 2nd highest ranking track from Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain after "Range Life" which came in at #14. (Amazing countdown, by the way.)

"Cut Your Hair" has proven itself as the critics' favorite from Crooked Rain, appearing in several "best songs of the 90's" lists since the decade's end. As far as we can tell, "Gold Soundz" appears in only Pitchfork's list, at #1.

No one from Pitchfork bothered confirming how this ended up happening. In all likelihood, Pavement scored more staff votes than any other band or artist but without 1 song towering over the rest. This makes sense as Pavement's legacy was a hugely impressive string of brilliant LPs and EPs, but without the type of songs that could easily have been huge on any format besides college radio and 120 Minutes. But I could understand Pitchfork's take on this whole thing.. Nirvana gets all the credit they deserve and more. But a "best of the 90's" list without Pavement is pretty much worthless. Albums-wise and career-wise, and considering they started in 1989 and ended in 2000 without sucking even a little, they ARE the band of the decade. And yet, they're usually at #4 or #5, but never #1. And fuck, they deserve it, so why the fuck not?

While certainly well intentioned, Pavement's #1 placing would have been much more well-received from readers had they chosen a different song. And despite its popularity, "Cut Your Hair" wouldn't have gotten the job done quite as well as what's probably their 2nd most popular favorite among critics lists, the accidental slow-motion explosion called "Summer Babe" which was re-recorded for their first LP Slanted And Enchanted, and is possibly the loudest song to combine all of their best attributes: They probably went to college after leaving their parents in the suburbs, so they understand what debt is like... They're just like us. They played and sang like they were drunk. When they rocked, they kicked so much ass. When they were sad, they were really, really sad. They were confident. The lyrics are so fucking cool, even though sometimes they were way too cryptic and and often probably about nothing.. "Ice baby, I saw your girlfriend, she's eating her fingers like they're just another meal.." Damn that shit's good.. but huh?! And of course, the catchy part where they repeat a bunch of phrases.. "Everytime I sit around I find I'm shot.." And the hi-hat in this rules as well..

"To be played at maximum volume."

90's Jams #31: Pavement "Cut Your Hair" (1994)

"Sell out." High school kids in the early 90's loved throwing around this term with such scornful disdain. You loved a band before they were on MTV, but then suddenly MTV crowns them with a Buzz Clip. It may or may not be the most exciting moment of this band's career, but in your world as a high school kid, that's YOUR band. You loved them and held them close to you, and you didn't want anyone outside of your friends to know about them. And now that they're on daytime MTV, there's a strong chance that the poser who just 2 months ago was wearing Champion sweatshirts 7 days a week is gonna have his mom buy your favorite band's shirt from K-Mart. Cruel betrayal. How could you Rivers? Or fucking Corgan? Don't look so innocent Billie Joe.. I'll fuck you up right the fuck now. How could you do this to me? I look like a fucking asshole now for wearing your shirts and supporting you all these years. Fuckin sell outs... (Sometimes the greater annoyance were the bands who were considered underground weirdos for over a decade, such as The Flaming Lips or Butthole Surfers, who then strangely scored one odd novelty hit...) "Songs mean a lot when songs are bought.."

Pavement never recorded the type of songs that could be considered for this, and "Cut Your Hair" was no exception, as it doesn't even have a chorus. However, it's still somehow their most popular song. Its popularity brings to mind a noteworthy alt-rock phenomena of the mid-90's: An uncharacteristically super-slack or super-grungy single ends up becoming a band's biggest charting song, such as Radiohead's "Creep" or Blur's "Song 2." Malkmus's lack of earnestness was somewhat of an anti-emo unreliable narrator. "Attention and fame's a career! Career! Careuh! KAREA! KOREA! KOREA!"