Wednesday, December 15, 2010

List Of Lists: 2010 (Now With More Lists)

This is getting kind of uncool at this point... I've been making year end lists since I was 13, which would have been in 1993, long before it was ever a "thing." (I'm pretty sure "Daughter" was #1 and "Heart Shaped Box" was #2.) This was about 6 months before I ever first saw a chat room, and about 2 years before I ever first saw AOL or before I first experienced web-browsing. Back in those days, there was MTV's top 100 videos of the year, and SPIN and Rolling Stone's lists, and that was about it.

And now here we are, all these years later:

Does it make sense to continue with this much intimidation? Yikes. There's no way in hell this website will end up on largeheartedboy's "list of lists" because nobody reads anything that gets posted here anyway.. Everyone's opinions matter, except the ones posted here.

There's a difference between the 7-thousand other EOY (end-of-year) lists on the world wide web and the ones posted here: The difference is that the other 7,000 are wrong, and Taste My Kids is right. No, really, it's true. I'll prove it.

Let's take a look at SPIN for example, where Cee-Lo Green's "Fuck You" was named the #1 song of 2010, as if this wasn't predictable enough since their #1 song/single always goes to megahuge indie/R&B/hiphop crossovers, such as "Feel Good Inc," "Crazy" and "Paper Planes." "Hey Ya" was one of these as well, but I don't remember if it was #1 on their "20 best single of the year." (It probably was.) But I do know that "Fuck You" is by far the least impressive out of all of these, since A) it sounds like a combination of Maroon 5, Bruno Mars and Black Eyed Peas, and B) it's fucking annoying and corny as shit. Earlier today, a Pitchfork writer reviewed this song (in at #26 on their "Tracks Of The Year") by spending the first half of the blurb listing the extensive recognition it's achieved, including (but not limited to) its inevitable Grammy nominations for Record and Song Of The Year. Nobody can accurately explain actually why this song is so amazing, probably because it isn't that amazing.

Also earlier today, Pitchfork listed not one but TWO songs from LCD Soundsystem's album in their top 20 of the year (which will likely be announced as their #2 album tomorrow right after Kanye). Although many of the songs in Pitchfork's 2010 tracks are rad (including a super-rad #1), for whatever reason they remain convinced that LCD has worked damn hard for his fellatio, and they're gonna give it to him good and thorough, bringing on that orgasm nice and slow so that the cum is all gooey. Did anyone actually bother listening to the LCD record before slapping it with a "Best New Music" tag? It's the sound of watching paint peel.. waiting for something to happen.. waiting and waiting.. And nothing does. Because this album is TERRIBLE. Some might even call it "TURRBLE." The best song is "Pow Pow" which got old after about 2 weeks. Boring boring blah blah blah.

We've made our point. Taste My Kids is the only reliable source for goodness.

Throughout the frustration, it's been decided to proceed with minimal effort. Whatever happens happens.

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